Slow Girl Running

Denver HM '09 Race Report

2009-10-26T14:11:00.005-06:00

Alright, it's time. I've been putting this off for over a week now. And I have good reason...

My first instinct was to file the 2009 Denver Half Marathon under "N" for "Not impressive"... or maybe "Not awesome"... or even "Not even worth mentioning"... I wanted to strike it from my memory and any/all record books. It was the suck in all imaginable ways and I wanted to forget it ever happened.

But that is not an option.

The day started out well enough. I ate a PB&J for breakfast (last year's pathetic PBtoast & banana was hideously inadequate) and I was up and ready to go earlier than I'd planned. Miah even woke up on time and didn't waste a lot of time getting ready to leave. We didn't hit any traffic jams and only one detour on our quest for a parking spot near the start/finish and we ended up finding one only a couple of blocks away.* We got to the start/finish area and there was Gatorade and water everywhere, and I even bumped into my Runner's Edge coach waiting in line for the port-a-potty. I was feeling a little mix of nervous and excited, but I have to say it was probably 70% excited and only 30% nervous because I had enough confidence to poke fun at Miah over this thing or that, and we even got into an acorn throwing contest, which abruptly ended when he nailed me in the forehead with one.**

Eventually, the announcer screamed into his mic*** that it was time for us to all line up (which, as we all know means that there's only another 30 minutes to stand around before the race actually begins, but now you have to wait in your teensy little running clothes rather than the fleece jacket and warmup pants you had to hastily stuff into your gearbag). I lined up just like last year: at the front of the fast walkers. Actually, I lined up right next to a lady holding a 5:30 sign, which I thought was a bit ambitious for me, but, like I said, I was overloaded with confidence.

The lining up process always gives me a few things to think about. On the way there, Miah and I were talking about how people don't just "show up" for a marathon or a half marathon. I mean, it's possible to decide on a whim that you want to run a 5K (much like my brother, Brandon, did when I was in Newbern earlier this year). But you don't decide on a whim to go out and run 26.2 (or even 13.1) miles. Right? Wrong. Here are two conversations I heard while in the start corral:

Exhibit A
Girl in front of me to her husband: "So, how many Bolder Boulder's is this, anyway?"
Husband: "A little more than two."
Girl: "So, how many 5K's is that?"
Me (thinking): "oh dear...."

Exhibit B
Other girl in front of me (with full makeup and HOT-ROLLED HAIR): "So, where are we supposed to line up? We don't know how fast we run."

So, obviously, there are people who decide on a whim to run this distance (with lots of make up and hot rolled hair, even!). This is 75% depressing.

Anyway, eventually, the whole herd of us began to inch forward and then we picked it up a bit and we were running. Yay! And I was going at a pretty nice clip, too, even weaving and dodging and passing people (what a feeling!). My first mile was 11:something, my second mile was 11:something. I was shocked but I felt great because I knew I had to average 12:30s to hit my (A) time goal.

My Garmin managed to keep a signal through the early parts of the urban canyon, but somewhere near the 5K mark something screwy happened and I lost about a quarter mile. So, at this point my splits are completely screwed up and I have no idea how fast/slow I'm running. The timer part was still working, though, so I did glance down at each posted mile marker to see how I was doing and I crossed the 5mile mark at 1:02:something. Awesome. I was right on pace!

Well, as you can imagine, this is where things started to fall apart. There was no Gatorade and very little water at the aid station at mile 4. By the time I hit mile 6, I was wilting. Jeff and Kevin and Miah had caught up with me on their bikes and they were doing an awesome job cheering for me and ringing cowbells while riding bikes (and not crashing). And I tried hard to put on a brave face for them. But when they got close enough, I heard myself say: "I need Gatorade. They were out at the aid station. I think I might throw up." Yeah... That was sort of the beginning of the end.

Miah ran to 7-11 and came back to find me with bottles of water and Gatorade. I turned into my old nemesis - City Park - for miles 6.5 through8ish.**** The nice chilly morning that had started the day had turned into an all-out sweatfest in the high 60s. And right at the relay transition zone, I slowed... to ... a walk. It was crushing. I just didn't have it anymore. I wanted to keep running. I tried everything to will myself to keep running. But I just didn't have any gas in the tank.

I did my best through the rest of the race, but it was a struggle. My goals slowly changed from hitting a time goal to just simply surviving. I ran as much as I could and I tried to be tough. But when I turned into Cheesman park, I cried. I was so upset with myself as I watched my time goals slip away. I was upset because I'd made poor decisions that had led me to that point. I was upset because I just didn't have it.

Finally---finally---I came to the finish. But I did so with a much different feeling in 09 than I had in 08. As I finished, I hung my head in defeat. I didn't feel proud. I didn't feel like I'd overcome an insurmountable challenge. I felt like the challenge had overcome me.

I crossed the finish and got my bottle of water and my medal. And my time? A whole 38 seconds slower than my time last year. I immediately laid down on the grass and wondered why I fell apart.

Eventually, I got my sorry ass up and dragged over to meet up with Miah and Kevin and Jeff, who were cheering for me as if I'd just won the entire race. They were awesome and I felt ashamed for putting up such a pitiful effort in front of them. I tried hard to dry my shameful tears and joke with them and laugh off my lack of performance, but I'm sure they could see through it. But, because they're amazing and wonderful friends, they pretended not to and instead they just encouraged me to keep going and they reminded me that everyone has a bad day sometimes.

I had a hard time recovering after the race, but eventually I was able to get up and walk again and Miah drove me home, where we promptly took a 3 hour nap.

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* A couple of blocks away seemed like a prime parking spot until after the race, when I didn't want to even walk another step. Then it seemed like it was at least 100 miles.

** Perhaps rather than throwing things at my spouse like a juvenile, I should have been trying to focus on my upcoming race?

*** Do us a favor, Denver, and next year don't even bother giving that dude a mic. He certainly doesn't need one with all that yelling he does.

**** I kept trying to psych myself out of feeling icky over City Park. It's only a couple of miles... it's only a couple of miles... I just HATE running there. There's no logical reason for it.
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Now that the race is a week behind me, I've had a little time to reflect on it and because of that reflection, this blog post has certainly turned out differently. Like I said earlier, I wanted very badly to forget this whole race ever happened. I can now definitely say I'm not proud of my "accomplishment" this year, but I'm also glad it happened. So I won't forget this race happened because I learned some difficult and important lessons out on the course this year that I wouldn't have learned if I had had a spectacular, PR-breaking run:

Eat more than a baked potato for dinner the night before a half marathon. Even if you are scared of gastro-intestinal problems. Chances are, if you eat nothing, you'll still have gastro-intestinal problems, you'll just also have any empty stomach.
Carry your own GU (sport beans, etc). Even if the race says they'll be provided on course, sometimes they run out before you get there (if you're slow like me) and even if they don't, chances are you will get a disgusting flavor that you can barely choke down (especially if the GU station is a half mile ahead of the water station).
Don't speed out from the start at a pace you know you can't maintain. This seems fairly obvious, yet it still escaped me on race day.
When it's hot out, make sure you drink more water on the course than otherwise would. If it's available. Denver.
It's ok to re-assess mid-way through a race. This year, my goals shifted from running fast to just running to just finishing without dying. And I learned something during each one of those phases.

So, an award-winning run? Definitely not. But a memorable one nonetheless. I have two real running medals now. My first one, from last year, which has a story because it was my first. And the one from '09, which has a story (albeit a tragedy) of its own.

I won't quit. I'm still eyeing R'N'R Arizona in January. Because I know I can do better than this. I know I set myself up for a bad day and I know I can do better.

And it always helps when other things in life happen to help you keep your running goals/achievements/failures in perspective... more on that later.

Goals

2009-10-18T04:33:00.002-06:00

It's 4:30AM. I'm up and ready to go. But in my mind, I've run this race twice today already.

During my first time through the race, I forgot to turn on my Garmin and was all out of sorts. I don't even remember having shoes on. The second time through, everything went perfectly... I was running like a Kenyan. It felt awesome. And then I woke up and realized "Oh no, you haven't even gotten started yet."

After a great deal of thought yesterday, I think it'd be a good idea to put down my real goals for today...

Finish without feeling like I've been hit by a truck. This is ambitious, considering how I felt after last year's race.
Finish in 2:45. This is my (A) time goal, the one that is a reach.
Finish in 3:00. This is my (B) time goal, the one I have a good chance of hitting. It's a couple of minutes faster than last year's time, so if I manage to do this, I can at least say the race was a PR, even if I miss my real time goal.
Get past mile 11 without wishing I was dead or wondering why I signed up in the first place. It's just a few more miles, after all. I've done 10 and it wasn't so bad. Another 3.1 won't kill me. I need to maintain perspective.
Avoid feeling bad about myself and doing a lot of beating myself up, regardless of my time. This is a tough spot for me.
Have fun and remember why I'm out there. It's not supposed to be easy (at least, not for me). I'm doing it because it's hard.

Let's hope the third time is the charm.

T-15 hours

2009-10-17T16:04:00.004-06:00

Though it doesn't seem possible, I'm sitting in my house the day before my second half marathon. It doesn't seem possible because I don't feel nervous (really) or excited (really) about it yet. At this time last year, I was already shaking. I felt worried and scared and really really nervous. But this time around, I feel a little disappointed, but that's about it, I guess.

Maybe it's because I'm no longer a half marathon virgin. It's not my first time, so it doesn't come with all the anticipation I had last year? Still, I'd like to feel something.

When I went to the expo yesterday to pick up my bib and whatnots*, I did feel a little excited. It's hard not to, with all the running gear and race advertisements and free stuff, you know? I also felt a little unprepared. Maybe it's because I didn't train at altitude this year like I did last year? Maybe it's because I took those 2 weeks off when I was having foot problems? Maybe I feel like I haven't trained hard enough or have been too lazy with my diet? There were all these other people around, and in my mind, they'd all had a perfect training season with no missed runs, no bad runs, no runs that kicked their butts. They were all perfectly trained and simply waiting for the gun to go off so that they could have the race of their lives. Why do I let my imagination run away with me?

Truthfully, I'm a little nervous because I've set a time goal for myself that I know is going to be tough for me to meet. I'll give it my very best effort, but there is a good chance I'm going to come away from tomorrow with a great big FAIL.

Maybe now is the time to re-frame.

Good luck to all of you racing tomorrow!
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* Speaking of the Denver Marathon whatnots, way to go DM for splurging on technical shirts for all runners this year! My 2009 NewBalance running shirt is FAR better than the cotton print t-shirt you gave me last year. I'm not sure if the logo on the front was supposed to be crooked last year, but mine certainly was.

Awesome ice helmet

2009-10-13T16:04:00.004-06:00

Saturday's run was exactly as I expected: cold and wet.

But it was also something else that I didn't expect: pretty freaking awesome.

It was snowing and 16 degrees out when I got out of the car, and I felt drastically unprepared with my non-waterproof gear. But, I was out there, running in the elements like one of those really hard-core people you see on the pages of Runner's World.

Well... not exactly like them, I guess... I was still slow.

I only had to do 6 miles on Saturday, since the Denver Half Marathon is coming up this Sunday. I found a knitted ear warmer and a cheap pair of gloves to wear, and I ended up deciding at the last minute to wear my fleece under my non-waterproof windbreaker. I was cold, dude, I thought the extra layer would help.

In the early miles I had a few slips on the sidewalk, but nothing dramatic like a real fall because I was taking every step quite gingerly. By the third mile, though, I was sort of just trucking along not worrying about slipping anymore. The snow kept getting caught in my eyelashes and at one point I reached up to find the entire top of my head frozen solid (seriously, it felt like an ice-helmet). But I kept on running, with that image in my mind of all those really tough runners I see out every winter... When I'm safe and warm and being lazy in the car on those winter days, I always say "Man, I'll be they're totally hatin' it!"... But in reality, they probably aren't. They're probably just as smug as I was last Saturday thinking "Damn I'm tough."

All in all, the run wasn't my fastest ever, but it wasn't my worst, either. It was one of the ones where I felt the strongest, though. I probably was slightly distracted by the weather and I probably could have pushed a little harder, but hey, I used to be distracted to the point of not even running at all in the rain and pushing harder might have led to a serious fall that would have kept me out of the race this Sunday. I'm glad I was out there. Cold and all.

And now, as the race comes up on Sunday, I'm still not really sure it's hit me that it's actually this weekend. I'm starting to get nervous, but I've not yet reached that point where I'm not able to sleep and I feel like I might puke, so there's still a ways to go.

Snow, Denver. I dare you.

2009-10-09T16:38:00.003-06:00

I did it! I ran in the snain yesterday. I just learned that word and I find it a great explanation of the weather we had yesterday.

Anyway, I'm totally tough now.

When I started running, it was fully snowing. Then it must have warmed up a bit because the snow turned to rain and eventually stopped altogether. I wore my full-length tights and long sleeve shirt and topped it off with a huge windbreaker. I don't have anything that is officially waterproof (except for my ski jacket, but come on dude that thing is way too heavy for running), so I wore an old adidas jacket and I did alright.

For tomorrow's "long" run (only 6 miles, woohoo!), I plan to use the same kit, but I'll also try to find a pair of gloves and an ear-warmer/headband. Why all the planning and concern over my attire? We run at 7AM. There's a 70% chance of snow. Not even snain because it's going to be too flipping cold.

6 am

25°F

Feels Like
15°F

9 am

25°F

Feels Like
16°F

12 pm

31°F

Feels Like
22°F

3 pm

35°F

Feels Like
27°F

6 pm

33°F

Feels Like
25°F

9 pm

28°F

Feels Like
19°F

Bring it on. I'm tough now.

Layer up!

2009-10-08T08:35:00.004-06:00

Last night's 4miler was pretty good, all things considered. I wasn't in the mood to run, but I knew I really needed to get out there anyway, so for the first half mile or so I had really heavy legs. But eventually, my mind sort of gave up fighting it and things got easier. The leaves are turning in town now, and every run along the creek is beautiful with orange leaves. Last night was no exception.

At one point, I ran up behind an old couple taking a walk along the creekside path, holding hands. They were probably in their 70's at least. I wondered "Will Miah and I take walks like this when we're that age?" It was a very sweet moment. Which I immediately ruined by thinking "Well, if we do, I hope I don't have blue helmet hair like that lady does..."

It is freezing and raining/snowing today in Denver, but I brought along my huge bag of warm running clothes and my shoes. I'm trying to decide if I'm tough enough to get out there in the drizzly, freezing cold this afternoon for a teensy little 3miler. I'm not sure yet. There's always the dreadmill downstairs...

Things are pretty good here...

2009-10-06T12:35:00.004-06:00

At last, a good long run.

Last Thursday, I did a 4-miler from the office down to the park. It was chilly and windy out, and I was determined to be done with all of the really terrible outings of late. I tried to put all the negative thoughts and doubts out of my head and just tried to relax and run. And it went GREAT. I finished with an 11:30ish average pace. It was a really gorgeous run with all the leaves turning yellow along the creek. This time between seasons is always my favorite time of year.

But, I would be lying if I said it's not c-c-c-cold here in the mornings. So, on Saturday, when I met up with the group at the Highline Canal it was a brisk 38degrees out. And there were folks there with sleeveless running shirts and shorts on! I was freezing my butt off wearing long sleeves and capris. At least I had a fully charged iPod and Garmin.

The group was small because a lot of people were running the St. George marathon, so our pace group was a bit scant. But it really didn't matter. I felt, even from the very first step, like I had to do this run just for me. I couldn't focus on the conversations of the people around me. I couldn't hope to compare my own pace with the others in the group. I just had to turn up my music and sort of do my own thing.

And that is exactly what I did. For 10 miles. I completely ignored everyone and everything else, and just tried to focus on how I was doing. I did a complete body inventory every so often, and nothing hurt. I enjoyed myself. I walked when I needed to during mile 9, I went faster when a great song came on. I laughed at the little tiny tots playing baby league football, with their little shoulder pads and their shiny little helmets. It was... a great run.

But I was ready to be done, too. Because, I'm going to be honest here.... 10 miles... is a long freaking way (for me). I look forward to the day when it isn't, but this is where I'm at right now.

All in all, I feel a lot better than I did a week ago. I know that Denver is going to be a tough day for me, and that is ok. It's just a goal. Not the only one, just the first one on the list of all the ones that are left.

I was very disappointed to learn that the half-marathon I'd been planning on running in Memphis has sold out. So, now I'm thinking of shooting for another half in January at the RNR Arizona. I figure mid-January will give me enough time to get a few more 10+ milers under my belt and maybe combat the accompanying mental struggle.

In completely non-running-related news, Miah and I are trying to buy our first house. We put in an offer weeks ago on a short sale property and we've been waiting and waiting to hear if our offer is accepted. In the meantime, we've spent many hours at the Home Depot designing a new kitchen and picking out carpet and paint. And we're supposed to hear something from the seller/seller's agent pretty soon.... Or else I'm going to lose it.

The highs and lows...

2009-09-30T11:08:00.002-06:00

The Denver Half Marathon is 18 days away, and I've got a big problem.

The group run on Saturday was the infamous "Parker Run". I've been hearing tales of its mercilessness since I joined the group several weeks ago. My 7 mile run a few weeks ago was hilly but, as everyone reminded each other as we collected back in the parking lot to retrieve our keys, "it wasn't quite as bad as Parker..."

On top of all this anticipation, I may or may not have mentioned before that as my long runs get to 7+miles, I feel a little unsure of myself. I'm not sure why 7 is the trigger, but for me, it is. Also, just coming off that awful 8miler that I did in TN... well, let's just say I was a little intimidated by my 9miler from the get-go.

So, I don't know if it was my attitude or if it was just the hills, but my 9miler turned out about like I expected it would. I couldn't make the hills. I had to stop and walk. I ran S-L-O-W on the parts where I could run at all. Even on the way back, when it was mostly downhill, I didn't run very strong. Maybe that was due to the completely demoralizing run out right before? Either way, I kept on going and only had to walk maybe a half mile out of the entire thing... But it wasn't a great day.

Big deal, right? Bad runs happen to everyone, and I shouldn't have been surprised by this one, considering all the advance warning I'd received by other members of the group.

The problem is... that run stole everything from me. I dragged back to my car with no confidence whatsoever. All of the sudden, I'm very fearful that I'm not ready for Denver. I feel undertrained and weak and just not ready. It even stole my motivation. I could barely force myself to run a measly 2miles yesterday after work. I didn't want to run. I would have rather gone home and watched TV.

Maybe it wasn't just the Parker run. Maybe it was the combination of the TN run along with the Parker run. Maybe it's all those weeknight runs I missed when my foot was hurting too bad to run. Maybe it's my haphazard diet? Maybe it's just old habits that come back too easily when the tide is going against me?

Whatever the cause of it, I am scared. I wanted to feel much differently about the race at this stage in the game.

This weekend I have a 10miler at the good ol' Highline Canal. Miah says that he thinks going back to where it all started will be good for me. He thinks that knowing the route and not being intimidated by it will help me recover from this latest trip-and-fall. He also thinks I can "think" my way out of my current attitude and back into confidence.

I'm trying, but I'm not so sure it's going to work.

What did I do to deserve this?

2009-09-24T10:52:00.002-06:00

I just had two of the most amazing weeknight runs of my life. Seriously, I mentioned Tuesday night's 2miler briefly in the last post because I thought it must surely be a fluke. I ran the two fastest miles I've ever run, I believe. Both were under 12m/m.

I figured it was just because it was only 2 miles, but I was still pretty proud of myself because I kept a good pace even on the uphill mile.

Then, last night, I had a 4 miler scheduled. I ran a new route from my office and my average pace? 12:09.

The first mile? 11:04.

What is going on around here? And why, all of a sudden, am I doing so well after that horrible wreck of a run in TN?

I am noticing a slight pattern... Back at the HM relay that I did with Miah and Jeff in April, it was cold and I ran fast (well, fast for me). It's been cold this week in Denver and I've been running fast. Is it possible that I just run that much faster when the temperature drops? Anyone else experience this?

Either way, I really like running fast. It feels like I'm really going somewhere! It feels great to stretch my legs out and take these long strides and feel the wind rushing past my face. And when I realize I'm running fast, and I try to rein it back in to a more reasonable pace, I find it very difficult to do!

The unhealthiest post-race snack. Ever.

2009-09-22T20:20:00.006-06:00

Sea level is so over-rated. I went back to TN all cocky, what with my altitude training and my super red blood cells. But I met a bully called humidity. And humidity kicked my big old altitude-trained ass.

Seriously, I struggled to maintain 13 minute miles, I sweated more than I thought humanly possible. When I ran past the local high school in the pre-dawn hours, the display read "6:00AM, 78 degrees." I wish I was kidding. I did 5 miles before the race, rather than splitting up the run with the 5K. And without a doubt, the highlight of my running experience in TN was talking my little brother into running the local 5K that I referred to before I left. The 5K was a part of a big festival (called Depot Days) that the town throws once a year, so as soon as you finish the 5K, you had to walk less than 100yards to buy your own deep-fried twinkie and assorted Tennessee Vols gear. The weather was pretty crummy, so the events later in the day (the cake walk and the street dance, I guess) were likely cancelled.

Anyway, back to my little brother. He's not a runner. In his words: "Three miles? I can't even run from here to my truck and back!" But, my powers of persuasion are second to none, so I had a running partner for the last 5K of my dismal 8miler on Saturday. Here's a couple of pictures:

Here we are at the start...He's sort of smiling in this one.

And, he's definitely smiling as we approached the finish.

Suffice it to say that he was glad to be done. We finished in approximately 41 minutes, which was good enough for my brother to take a 1st place trophy in his age group! This race didn't exactly have a great turnout.

Afterwards I played with my very cute and adorable nephew (the soon-to-be big brother) at the assorted inflatable fun-houses. This was really fun until I saw a 6-year-old child pin him to the ground and shout "SUBMIT!" I wish I were kidding. This child was intense. Here's a picture of the cutie pie:

But the real reason for going to TN at all was to attend a baby shower for my sister-in-law. She's going to have my neice in October, and my mom and my aunt threw a truly beautiful baby shower for her. My aunt carved a baby carriage out of a watermelon. There were two towers of cupcakes. We made chocolate covered strawberries. We played fun games. And there was carrot cake. So it was worth the trip.

And, also while in TN, I started the process of talking my dad into training for a marathon with me. He's 54, and he used to do a lot of running when he was younger (35-40ish), but he hasn't in quite some time. I suggested that we train for and run the Memphis St. Jude Marathon in December 2010 together. He gave the very non-commital response: "I'll give it some thought." Which, in my dad's language, means: "I'm sure she'll forget about this in a couple of days... I hope." But I will not forget. As I mentioned before, my powers of persuasion are second to none.

I got back to the mile-high city with something to prove, after that pathetic 8miler on Saturday. So, today, I did an awesome 2miler from my office. In the rain. And cold. And snow. That's right, snow. I think I just run easier when it's cold out.

That's all I've got for tonight. Tomorrow is a 4miler for me.

My, what a tiny jog-bra you have!

2009-09-17T12:21:00.002-06:00

OK, I just couldn't pass this up.

Today, I'm browsing over at runnersworld.com, and I find a nifty little tool to help me decide what to wear, based on the temperature, the wind conditions, the sky (sunny, overcast, etc) and how I like to feel when I'm running...

I found this because I was browsing around trying to find ideas for what type of gear I should be looking for as winter comes up in Denver.

This handy-dandy little tool seemed like a cool idea. So, for today, I put in 65F, calm winds, overcast skies, and I like to feel "cool" when I'm running. And here's what I got in return:

**************************************
We suggest you wear:

Hat with visor
A hat with a visor serves not only to keep the sun out of your eyes, but also to shield them from blowing snow and rain on the run. A lighter-colored hat helps to keep your head cool on warm days.

Short-sleeve shirt
Or singlet, or for women, as little as a jog-bra. The minumum upper-body coverage. While this may look like a classic T-shirt, a runner is actually best-off with a technical fabric like CoolMax which will pull sweat away from the skin, instead of absorbing it like cotton. This added comfort, combined with sun protection, can make a technical T-shirt a better choice than no shirt at all.

Shorts
The basic element of any runner's wardrobe. Usually a nylon or technical fiber.

**************************************

My favorite part of this is the suggestion that I go with "as little as a jog-bra." Now maybe there's some technical jargon of which I am unaware, but is a "jog-bra" not simply a sports-bra? And does it seem to anyone else that, by calling it a "jog-bra", you're immediately left with the mental image of some pretty little lightweight thing the size of a training bra the likes of which you might find on a 4th grader? In my mind, it's light pink with little daisies on it and probably smells like strawberry shortcake.

Sorry... This is completely ridiculous, but the thought of heading out in what runnersworld.com refers to as a "jog-bra" made me laugh out loud at my desk. Overlooking all of the obvious, parts-of-the-body-that-don't-go-into-the-jog-bra modesty issues, I feel quite confident that there is not a company on this earth that sells a "jog-bra" that could adaquately handle my ridiculously oversized (and painful!) endowment.

That is all.

Poop-Glorious-Poop

2009-09-17T08:45:00.003-06:00

That pretty much sums up my last 3 weekday runs.

After the 7-miler on Saturday, other than a little soreness, I was feeling pretty good. Until I started out on Tuesday's (what was meant to be Monday's) brief little 2-miler.

You know how you just have those days? You stub your toe getting out of bed, then you slip and fall in the shower, then you notice a massive pimple right between your eyes, then you burn your toast, then you get a speeding ticket because you're running late for work... and so on? Well, that was the day-to-day equivalent of Tuesday's little 2-miler. From the office, the first mile was all downhill, but it felt really hard. When I heard the Garmin beep, I figured out why. 11:30! That's why. Which meant that the second mile, the uphill mile, was all that much more gruesome. I couldn't wait to get this one done and in the books so I was thrilled when I finally stumbled back to the parking lot to find my car... which, of course, had no awaiting bottle of water. Stupid Tuesday.

Wednesdays are a little tricky in our house because we take Ini to Doggie Daycare (aka "school") on Wednesdays. So, this means we have a pretty strict schedule of when we need to leave the house to drop him off, as well as when we have to leave work to pick him up. Until this week, it was even more crazy in the afternoons because we had to rush up to Indian Hills (oh, I've run those hills before) to take him to Agility class. However, this Wednesday we didn't have agility, so I planned a sweet little point-to-point route from our office out to a point close to where Miah would be driving after picking Ini up from school. I was really excited to be running a new route. So excited, in fact, that I left the house without... my Garmin. I did not realize this until I was already at the office, however, so going back for it was not an option. Immediately, Garmin-less anxiety set in.

Ugh. I've done these runs before. You know... where you just run. And you have no idea of your pace or your distance or anything? How did I ever survive pre-Garmin?

In the end, it was a pretty awesome run. It was annoying to not have any idea how far I'd gone at any given point... And it was annoying not to have any idea how fast I was going. But I did the run, and I felt really good! I ended up finishing in about 52minutes, for 4 miles, which is right at a 13m/m pace. I guess my body is learning how to run roughly the same pace with or without my Garmin directing me. The most annoying thing has to be that there is no record whatsoever that I even did this run. Aside from what I've just written here... and still there's no proof! I could have totally made this up!

The best part of this run, anyway, was finishing right at the car. Miah and Ini were waiting for me with lemon-lime gatorade. What could be better?

And then came today, when I was forced to run in the pre-dawn hours because I'm flying out to TN this evening to visit my family. Again, today, another terrible slog. I'm blaming this one on lack of rest. It was just a mere 12 hours ago that I ran that glorious 4-miler, after all.

It's either the lack of rest or the fact that my head just wasn't right before I even started. I just didn't want to be running. There are lots of runs that I start with this exact attitude, but usually it wears off after the first mile or so. Not so today. Again... I can easily blame this on the lack of sleep.

What was supposed to be a measly 3-miler turned into a 2.3miler. I just didn't have it today.

The really excellent news in all this is that I've done all my weekday runs this week, and my foot still seems to be holding up pretty well. I got the word back from the doctor on Tuesday that I do NOT have a stress fracture, though she also offered no explanation as to what actually is wrong with me. So, at this point, I figure I'm going to just keep running on it until my body says otherwise.

I'm on the schedule for an 8-miler this Saturday, though, as I mentioned, I'll be vacationing this weekend in TN with my parents. Luckily, my tiny hometown (and I mean tiny) is having its annual 5k race this weekend, so I'll be out there (with approximately 20 other people) on Saturday morning.

Question: If I run 3 miles, then pause and register for the race, then run the 5k then continue on for an additional 2ish miles after... does that qualify as an 8-mile run? Does pausing in the middle make the run less meaningful?

Saturday wrap up

2009-09-14T08:22:00.004-06:00

Well, I did it. I ran 7 miles on Saturday with the group, just like I'd intended.

And the foot held up pretty well for the first 2 miles or so.

When I started the run, I felt pretty good. A very slight twinge of pain now and then, but otherwise I felt pretty healthy. I intentionally tried to hold back on the speed, which led to abysmal splits, but I thought it might be better for the injured foot to run slowly. But, right before the first water station, I was having consistent pain with every footfall. In all reality, I probably should have turned back as soon as it started hurting. But I've skipped so many weeknight runs in the last couple of weeks, I just couldn't bear to turn around. Finishing those 7 miles, however slowly, was an indication that I may still have a shot at running in Denver in 5 weeks.

Provided that the foot holds up, of course.

I am still waiting on the results from the bone scan that I had done last Thursday.

All in all, I had an average pace of 14:27 for Saturday's really hilly group run. The weather was perfect, but the course was tough, and I did end up walking 0.4miles in there along the way. You can get all the details here. It's starting to feel like fall in Colorado. I always love this time of year.

Miah keeps reminding me that I need to carefully weigh my options right now. Maybe I can keep running, through the pain, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I should. He says that if I keep going, I need to realize that I may be sacrificing other things down the road. Not only might I not be able to run in Memphis, but I also might sacrifice the upcoming ski season. These are good points, I realize, but I have been trying to ignore them up until this point.

That's it for now, as I have a date with my dentist. There will be drilling involved. Ugh. What a way to start a Monday!

I am so back...

2009-09-10T17:31:00.004-06:00

Injury update: I had the bone scan done today, but I've had ZERO pain for two days in a row now, which means I'm going to be running again. I'm going to do a few miles tomorrow, then I'm on the schedule for 7miles on Saturday. I may not have the results of the bone scan until early next week, but I feel confident that everything is fine now. I haven't run since Saturday, so I guess the rest (combined with the ibuprofen I've been taking in ludicrous amounts) was enough to get me better.

It's funny, but taking just a few days off running has made me realize how important running is to me. Sure, I complain about it every now and then (or every day), and sometimes it does genuinely suck... but, the thought of not being able to do it... well, it sort of makes all the other parts of my life fall apart, too.

I'll post a summary of tomorrow's run to let you know how the gimpy foot holds up.

Of all the rotten luck...

2009-09-08T08:42:00.003-06:00

I now have a pair of these:I didn't write anything last week because I was so upset about my latest misfortune and I kept thinking if I ignored it, maybe it would go away.

It began a few hours after my first group run. Miah and I were out looking at houses and I had a pretty nasty pain in my left foot. I figured it was a muscle spasm or something and it would go away with a little rest. But, it did not go away. I saw the chiropractor on Monday morning to rule out any weird bones-out-of-place issues. Then when I tried running on it on Tuesday, the pain got even worse. I hit my McDoctor's office on Wednesday, where they took an x-ray and didn't find anything wrong. Big surprise.

Still, I have my suspicions... I'm off for a bone scan come Thursday morning to find out if it is a stress fracture.

I did go out to the group run on Saturday, where I did 4 miserable miles. And, though I still have a lot of pain even just while walking, I'm going to try my hardest to get in a 2-miler today and a 3-miler tomorrow.

The thing is, I know there's something wrong with the foot. That much is clear, as it's been hurting for over a week now. But until I'm diagnosed with something, I can't just quit. What if I stay off the foot now (for another week) and then find out it was just a really bad bone bruise or something? Something that I could totally have run through? Then I'll be behind in my training and really mad at myself for giving up too soon.

At the same time, every time that I run (or walk, for that matter) I fear that I'm doing myself more damage. Maybe it's a situation where Denver is out of reach (a mere 6 weeks away), but if I stay off the foot I could still run Memphis?

I'm very torn about what to do. I'm obviously disappointed. I've put my heart into training for these races and I'm afraid they're about to be taken away from me.

Magic pants!

2009-08-30T20:24:00.005-06:00

Even though Alicia told me there'd be 150-200 people running with the group on Saturday, I could not have imagined the scene that unfolded on Saturday morning before 6AM. As I came down out of the mountains into Lakewood, there were loads of cars on the road. Strangely, they all seemed to be headed in the same direction I was. I turned into the parking lot in a steady stream of traffic. At 5:45AM. ALL of these people were running with the group.

Oh. Dear.

Luckily, I had run into the REI sale on Friday night, where I found two pairs of Nike running shorts and a new sports bra, all for a mere $40. And these were the super-cool track shorts that all the cool girls wear! The ones that were too small for me a couple of years ago. Needless to say, I had a little extra boost of confidence when I stepped out of the car on Saturday morning. But that wasn't all my new shorts had to offer... more on that in a bit.

I found the coach and introduced myself, then Alicia found me and we talked and stretched and then she introduced me to my pace group leader. Her name was Kari, and her friend was called Candy, and they were both really nice. The pace groups left one after the other, with ours being last. I was really nervous, naturally, but I joined in the group near the front. I figured if there was someone riding my heels, I might hang with the group a little longer.

It was chilly and my back and legs felt a little tight, and I was trying to get used to running without my iPod. But as we ran, I realized I was doing it: I was hanging with the group. We kept on running, and as we approached our first mile, I really felt like I was holding back to stay with the group. So, after the first mile, I just sort of left them behind.

Oh yes, you read that right. I left them behind.

Never in a million years would I have imagined it would go down this way. Now, there are a few facts I should bring up here... Many of these folks were going out for 16-22 miles on Saturday, whereas I was only doing 6 miles, so it's likely that they were intentionally holding back in the early miles to make sure they had enough gas in the tank to make it the full distance. Also, the pace group was running a little slower than the advertised pace (at least by my Garmin).

Anyway, here are my splits from Saturday:

Mile 1: 12:43
Mile 2: 12:24
Mile 3: 12:16
Mile 4: 12:30
Mile 5: 12:56
Mile 6: 12:29

I'd like to point out the lack of any 13's in that little segment.

This brings me back to my magic pants: I don't think I've ever done a 6 mile run without dipping into the 13's before. Therefore, the obvious explanation is that my brand new shorts make me run faster.

Because of this new revelation, and because Runner's Edge members got 20% off at Boulder Running Company after our group run, I bought 4 new pairs of really fast looking socks.

As I expected, the water/gatorade on the course made a huge difference for me. It was great to go out without anything to carry for a change (the coach even hangs onto everyone's car keys while we're out running!). They provided icy water and lemon/lime gatorade (which is quickly becoming my favorite during runs), potato chips and those gooey orange candy wedge things. Oh! And they had bagels and fruit and whatnot when we finished, too! It was fantastic. The course was laid out really well, with chalk marks on the road/sidewalk and bright yellow "turn here" signs that even I couldn't miss. Everyone seemed really friendly and supportive, and I really do believe that starting out with the group put me off on the right foot as far as pace went. If I'd been on my own, I probably would have started out at a slower pace, which would have made it more difficult to pick up the pace later. After talking it over with Miah, I've decided it's definitely worth the money spent to join this group... I have a lot to learn!

Hope everyone's long runs this weekend were as much fun as mine!

A little something new...

2009-08-28T13:36:00.003-06:00

Like I mentioned in yesterday's post, there may be some changes on the horizon for my running.

So far this season, I haven't had any solid goals. The closest possible thing to a goal that I've had so far is this: I want to finish Denver without walking. That's right, it's exactly the same goal I had last year.

I was thinking about this a few days ago, and with anything you do, you have a choice: you can keep doing what you're doing, you can get worse, or you can get better. So far, with running, I've been content to just keep doing what I'm doing. I guess I'm getting marginally better, just simply due to the fact that I get out there often enough to see an improvement. No, not a consistent, daily improvement (I've never known a runner whose every run is better than the last; there always seem to be good days and bad days for everyone), but a general trend toward improvement.

Why is this, though? I'm starting to think it's fear. I'm a little afraid to see what I can do when I push myself. Because once you know what you're really capable of, it's not as easy to wuss out, is it? If you know you're capable of running 10 minute miles, all of a sudden running 11 minute miles starts to feel like you're taking the easy way out. So, the simple solution is to avoid really pushing yourself. In this way, you remain blissfully ignorant of your true potential, and you're able to keep on shuffling away, feeling proud of yourself for being out there at all.

But lately, I've been thinking more about goals. What do I really want from Denver? What do I want from Memphis?

When I picture myself finishing Denver, and I'm truly honest with myself, what I want is to finish a little faster than I did last year. When I picture myself finishing Memphis, I see an almost entirely different person. Not only do I see myself faster in Memphis (come on, sea level!), I also see myself finishing really strongly. Like a real runner. Like one of those runners who I watch and aspire to be. Typically, I can only admit this to myself in my deepest darkest moments of solitude because if I admit, out loud, that I aspire to be one of those real runners, I run the risk of being embarrassed due to the great divide between where I am now and where I want to be.

I think this is the first step in the right direction, though. My desire to get better, get stronger, is more important to me right now than my desire to stay un-embarrassed (if that's not a word, it ought to be).

And the thing is, I think I can get better... if I'm willing to push a little harder. But it's entirely up to me.

With all these thoughts tumbling around in my head over the last few days, my friend Alicia (you know, the totally hard-core one) mentioned her running group to me. It's a pretty big group, and all of the people in it are training for something half-marathon distance or longer. Several people from the group recently completed the Pikes Peak Ascent marathon: 26.2 miles of climbing 7000ft. A couple of others just finished the Leadville 100 (you know Leadville, the highest incorporated city in the United States? Elevation = 10,152ft?). Suffice it to say that I was more than intimidated just listening to her talk about it.

Alicia assured me that there would be a pace group to fit my needs, and it's a really supportive group, and soon I found myself actually considering going out for a group run with this bunch of athletes. At first I was hesitant. I've had my fair share (and several other folks' fair share) of huge embarrassing athletic failures, and I've no desire to subject myself to pointing and laughter and being the object of ridicule by the masses. But the more I thought about it, I began to realize what I mentioned earlier... my want to get better is bigger than my want to save face.

Will I get dropped from my pace group? Maybe... there's a good chance, in fact.
Will I be embarrassed? Maybe.
Will I be intimidated? Definitely.
Will I run faster than I think I can? Maybe... Alicia seems to think so, anyway! (Thanks for the vote of confidence, Alicia!)
Will I be grateful for the water provided on the group run course? DEFINITELY.
Will I come away learning something about running or about myself? Probably.

So, after weighing how much my pride is worth to me, I've decided to go out tomorrow and give it a try with this group: Runner's Edge of the Rockies. I figure if I hate it, I haven't lost anything. I was going to do a 6-miler tomorrow anyway, and this way I get to take advantage of their water/gatorade stops. If I love it, I can sign up for their program, which would get me all the extras: a running coach, a tailored training program specific to my races and my goals, a weekly group run with support, and maybe even a few new friends.

The thing is, I just have to push myself a little bit harder, and I'm hoping this running group will show me how to do that. If I cross the finish in Denver (or Memphis) feeling like I was holding something back in the interest of my own pride, I'm not sure it'll feel like a victory.

I hang my head in shame...

2009-08-27T09:47:00.003-06:00

I skipped last night's training run. I was having bad stomach pain which I believe was a result of over-doing it on Tuesday night's run. But still, I feel terrible.

I'm back on today for another 4 miler.

And I do intend to blog that crazy run I did on Tuesday, as well as let you in on some new developments regarding my long run coming up on Saturday.

One is the lonliest number....

2009-08-26T11:42:00.002-06:00

I've been giving it some thought, and I've almost decided (I'm 73.249% sure) that I want to run not one, but two, half-marathons this fall/winter. They're 6 weeks apart so I feel confident that I would have plenty of time to recover between the two of them. And it would be awesome to have another goal hanging on my calendar after Denver. And the second one is especially meaningful because it's in Memphis, which means my family could come out to support me.

I just don't know. Last year in the hours following my half in Denver I felt like crap. But I felt pretty good the next day. I even went for a run a couple days after last year's race. Surely, with 6 weeks between the two, I could get a good rest and still have time to increase my mileage to the point that the race in Memphis would find me running strong all the way to the finish.

An extra bonus to consider: Memphis is at a whopping 200ft of elevation. Just sayin'.

I'm particularly driven by running events. When I have an event planned, I know I have to keep training and keep working hard because there will be lots of people on-hand to see me fail if I don't put in the miles. So, having something planned post-Denver is one way to ensure that I'll keep up with my running even as winter approaches. This is something I've struggled with in years past. I have to admit to being a seasonal runner. But I don't want to be anymore... I really want to be one of those really hard core people you see out running down snow-covered sidewalks/trails in 8 degree weather with mittens and yak-traks. Then I'd feel really tough!

Why am I struggling with this decision so much? Am I hesitant for a good reason, or am I just allowing my natural ability to doubt myself cloud what is otherwise a good plan?

Enough with the 90+ degree days, ok?

2009-08-25T21:20:00.005-06:00

First of all... can I just say that Miah is officially the husband of the year? For about a month, I've been asking him to go camping on Labor Day weekend. He's kept saying no, it'll be too crowded or whatever. Recently, we learned that his dad might be coming down to visit on Labor Day weekend, and when I talked to my father-in-law, I told him we had no plans (aside from SoxFan's gruelling 36 mile - 6000 feet of climbing - mountain bike ride). Well, yesterday in the car, he explained to me that actually, he'd made plans for us to spend the night of 9/6 at the B&B where we got married. Why? Because it was our 3 month anniversary, but also because it's one year since the day we got engaged (9/7). He started making these plans about a month ago, apparently, and he'd reserved our honeymoon suite. Isn't he just the most adorable man you've ever heard of? I do think I love him.

OK, newlywed sappiness out of the way, on to the running stuff...

I'm happy to report that the Frankenstein boot is long gone, folks. I kicked that sucker off on Wednesday of last week and I haven't looked back since. I missed only one run last week (Tuesday's run) so I managed to get in 2 weekday runs and my long run on Saturday. Here's a quick recap...

Wednesday's 2 miler was done up in Indian Hills. It's no coincidence that it's called Indian HILLS either. It was a fairly painless 2 miler, though I did have to wrap up the last 7 tenths by running laps around a park (not so much fun).

Thursday's 3.5 miler was done down in town, from my office. Stupidly, I slept in on Thursday morning, which meant I had to run in the afternoon heat. ARGH. I know better than this, yet I still do it. I had to walk a bit on the hills, but otherwise I was pretty pleased with how it went. Maybe it's purely psychological, but it seems like the running gets noticeably easier when you're in the shade? There is one long stretch on my 3.5m route from the office that is completely shade-free and every time I'm running down that stretch, I start to feel like I'm carrying a toddler (or a 27 year old man) on my shoulders.

With those two runs behind me pain free, I was feeling pretty good about Saturday's long run. Not so good, of course, that I could manage to drag my butt out of bed as early as I should have to get the run done before it got hot out, but you know... The trail was really crowded at 8AM, and it wasn't a great run, but it wasn't terrible, either. It was another 5 miler that I did on the highline canal trail, running from Goodson rec center. I notice, especially while running on the highline (which, by the way, is one of my very favorite places to run in Denver) that all the other slow people on the trail always nod and smile at me as we pass. It's as if they're saying "Dude, it's so awesome that we're out here together, struggling and sweating like pigs, getting passed by folks all the time... I know what you're going through." This reminds me of this really hilarious Nike commercial that I must share, even if it is terribly old news...

I missed cross-training (for only the second time and the first time was due to injury!) on Friday because Miah and I were out looking at potential houses with our spankin' new realtor. It was the first time we've been out looking at houses and it was exhausting and somewhat depressing. We saw 12 houses, it took all day long, and in the end there were really only a couple that we were interested in. One, of course, was drastically out of our price range and the other was a fixer-upper, which immediately sent me into a frenzy, worrying about what color to paint the kitchen walls and what kind of carpet we should pick out. (Worrying is sort of a hobby for me, see? If it were an Olympic sport, I'd be an 8-time gold medalist.) Needless to say, I missed out on mountain biking and had dreams about houses on Friday night.

Whew... now that all that updating is done I can move onto something that I was thinking about today...

I was talking to my friend (Alicia) at work. Alicia is a super-athlete. She's run several marathons (including Boston), too many half-marathons to count, she plays soccer and all sorts of other sports... She's generally just really fit and badass. Today, she was talking about how she wants to do a Half-Ironman. She's fit enough that she could probably go out tomorrow and do a Half-Ironman without any additional training whatsoever. Alicia would really excel at triathlons, in general (she excels at everything else!), so I encouraged her to do it. And she mentioned that, out here in Denver, it seems like you're never doing enough. You could be training for a marathon and still feel like a giant wuss because the other folks in your running group are training for an ultra-marathon. Luckily, I realized this early and have steered clear of running groups entirely for this reason.

Still, she's right. Running a half-marathon doesn't feel like much because so many of the people I know have done it or could do it without much training. There are even people who (and these folks really just kill me) don't seem to do a lot of physical activity of any sort, but when you talk them into running a fun-run 5K with you, they smoke your ass.

I mentioned to Miah that I wished I knew more people like me (in person). People who are sort of just getting started with the whole running thing, who have to try really hard to stay in shape, who are always going to finish near the back of the pack. He pointed out that there aren't that many people like that, though. That most of the people we know who are runners have been runners for a while. The other (more couch potato-ish) people we know don't have any interest in running or they would have done so already. It's just not that common for a largely un-fit, sedentary person to decide they want to change into an active, fit person. He said that the best person I have to compare myself to is the me from about 3 years ago. He's right. I know that is definitely the best comparison I can make to see how far I've come. It's just really hard to get the me from 3 years ago to go out for a 5 miler so that we can race... she's a bit of a lazy ass.

Oh! I went to the chiropractor on Monday and it turns out I'm twisted up like a pretzel but the doc says she can put me straight again (I sound like Forrest Gump a bit, no?). We managed to get all the way through the visit without her making some new-age reference to cleansing my chakras or whatever by snapping my little elbow joint and I was tickled to find that she was very careful every time she approached my neck (probably due to the fact that I told her how terrified I was that she was going to snap my neck). I had to get some x-rays of my lower back (which didn't hurt at all on today's 4 miler) and I have another visit on Thursday afternoon. I'm going to try to better understand what all is wrong with me on this visit, I promise. I'm sure there's got to be a better explanation than the one I've currently got: my neck/back/ankles/knees/hips are all janked.

The thing about running is, you need feet...

2009-08-17T19:43:00.004-06:00

I'll get to my latest training runs in a second, just after this short statement:

On Friday, for my cross-training exercise, SoxFan and I went mountain biking at Green Mountain. We had a great time, but rather than riding the trail back (like a champ) I decided to ride back to the truck on the sidewalk (like a loser). However, there was a small stretch of road where there was no sidewalk, so I had to ride it out in the road.

:::I am aware that this is the correct way to ride a bike, and that riding on the sidewalk is illegal and is most often the cause of cars hitting cyclists.:::

Apparently the jerk who pulled up behind me and insisted on laying on the horn and screaming at me for riding my bike in the road was unaware of this small detail, despite my efforts to educate him with various hand gestures and colorful language. I was in the left lane for a reason, you jackass, because I needed to turn left, just like a car would do! And, generally speaking, laying on the horn while yelling at me out of your window and trying to squeeze between me (rather pushing me onto the yellow line and very nearly into oncoming traffic) and the car in the right lane is not considered the correct way to treat a cyclist on the road and I hope you (and your god forsaken Honda Ridgeline*) get pulled over and ticketed next time for your ridiculous behavior. Jackass.

Whew... Now that that is out of my system...

The remainder of last week's training runs went fairly well. After the abysmal 2 miler that SoxFan and Ini ran with me, I had one more 3.5 miler on Thursday morning, then a 5 miler on Saturday by myself on the Highline Canal. I managed to run the entire 5m, but I was having pain in the left side of my lower back so I stopped several times to bend over and stretch a bit. It was a great day for a run, though, otherwise.

Regarding this back pain... I'm worried it might be connected to the pain I've also been having in my left hip joint, which I'm also worried might be connected to the pain I've been having in my left IT band. (The hip bone is connected to the leg bone and all that.) So, rather than see my McDoctor about it (thank you for the superb care, Kaiser Permanente), who would probably just dismiss me with something ingenius like "oh, if it hurts when you run, then you shouldn't run" I've decided to try a chiropractor.

I know, I know. I've always heard they're quacks, too. I'm very skeptical, but there are a couple of people at work who say they go regularly and it works. If they start saying things like "If you let me crack this bone here, it'll cure your allergy to cottonwood trees"...I'm totally out. That's just wacko crazy person stuff.

If you have any experience with chiropractors (good or bad), please let me know. I'm supposed to go in next Monday, and I'm not sure what to expect.

On Sunday (my rest day), SoxFan and I decided to head out to Eleven Mile Canyon to do a little fly-fishing. He and his dad had really great luck there this time last year, so I hoped this would be an out-of-the-ordinary fly-fishing trip for me and I'd actually catch a fish rather than just getting a lot of casting practice. Ah... a nice, graceful, relaxing day of fly-fishing... what could be better?

I was also very excited to try out my luck at wading. In the past I've always fished from the bank while SoxFan wades the river...which was kindof convenient for me because then I could blame my lack of catching fish on the fact that I had to remain stuck on the side of the river. I didn't have proper felt-soled wading boots, but I did have an awesome new pair of Keen sandals that we figured would work in a pinch.

He caught 2. I caught none, and I was well into my second half-hour of pouting over this fact when I stepped on a tippy rock and fell into the river, thereby slicing a great wound into the front of my right leg and "spraining" my right foot. I didn't realize anything was wrong with my foot until this morning, around 3AM, when I got up to get water and realized I could not put weight on my right foot nor could I wiggle my right toes.

I woke up the hubs, who recommended that I stop crying and instead take an ibuprofen and see my McDoctor in the morning. So, that's exactly what I did. The pain was not as bad when I re-woke at 7AM, but I hobbled my way into the McDoctor's office anyway and they shot a couple of pictures of the foot, declared that I'd broken nothing, thereby deduced that it must be a "sprain" (though, for the life of me I don't understand how you "sprain" a foot), put me in a huge ridiculous Frankenstein boot and sent me packing.

I'm trying to see this as the best possible outcome. At 3AM, I was convinced that I'd definitely broken a bone in my foot, and any chance of running Denver was out of reach. As it is, I'm just out of commission for a few days at most (OK, so the McDoctor said 7-10 days of no running, but I just told her to shut her McMouth 'cause I had a plan) and I'm back to 100% by Saturday's 5miler. I am trying to completely ignore the fact that, should I have to actually skip an entire week of training, there's a good chance that I won't make it to Denver anyway.

----------------------------------
*My apologies to you if you happen to own a Honda Ridgeline. I think they are horrendous looking, but I'm sure yours is just lovely.

Not every run can be a good one...

2009-08-12T20:56:00.004-06:00

After Saturday's highly successful 4 miler, I thought for sure I was in for some great weekday runs this week. I headed off to the gym first thing Monday morning and swam a (fairly) quick 750m (I wasn't even the slowest person in the pool). But things came crashing down on Tuesday morning. Due to some after work obligations, and not wanting to leave poor Ini in the crate too long, I decided not to run before work on Tuesday in lieu of doing the run Tuesday after work instead. (As a side note, "crate" sounds like an awful word, doesn't it? Like we force him into a tiny shipping container with mere slits for him to see through? I assure you, he loves the kennel - just not for 15 hours a day - and we do not abuse our dog.) This was a bad idea for a few reasons:

Things stink in the afternoon. There are more cars on the road, so instead of inhaling nice fresh morning air, I inhaled the toxins coming out of every SUV on the roads. And at 6PM, there were SUVs aplenty.
The roads near my office building (the same stench-free roads where I did my weekday runs last week) are in the process of being repaved. So, in addition to the car exhaust, there was the lingering scent of freshly poured (is pour the right verb for asphalt?) asphalt. It stinks to high heaven, if you've never had the pleasure.
It is HOT in the afternoon. Now, granted, Tuesday's run at 6PM was nowhere near the hellish experience I had on my first long run, sweating it out at 11AM-noon, but still... I was doing some serious sweating.
I don't feel comfortable running with all my colleagues watching me. I realize this is a bit silly, but folks at work know me as the person who is organized, the person who can get things done, the person who keeps her desk insanely neat... I prefer to keep it that way, rather than have them start to recognize me as the person who shuffles more than she runs or the person who sweats like a pig. At 6PM, there are more of my colleagues on the road than I'd rather run past.

You get the point: Running works better for me if I just bite the bullet and get my lazy butt out of bed early to do it before work.

All that said, Tuesday's run was pretty fantastic. During the first mile, I kept noticing my pace and I knew that there was no way to keep it up (sounds vaguely like that PR I had in the HM relay earlier this year, no?), but it just felt so good to be running at that pace. It really felt right. Like that was the pace I was designed for (and we all know I'm not built for speed, per se). So, I kept it up and my first mile came in at slightly more than 12m/m. It felt good, so I kept going and mile 2 came in at about 12:30m/m. At this point, I had to turn into the sun and the blistering heat of the day was cooking my forehead as I ran uphill (both ways!). Eventually, around 2.3 miles, I had to stop and walk for a teensy bit, but I finished running and I felt really proud of myself.

Of course, with a run like that, you can imagine what today held. That's right folks, a blustery, miserable vomit-inducing death march that lasted a mere 2miles, during which I walked at least 3 times. It was miserable. It was one of those runs where you're asking yourself the entire time "Why the heck am I doing this? I could still be sleeping. Running is the devil!"

I don't know. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe my attitude was all wrong before I headed out. I often think my head gets in the way of my running, and this might just be one of those times. Oh well, they can't all be fabulous runs, can they?

In other news, a friend of mine at work pointed out this fantastic feature offered by Garmin. I'm sure most of you've already heard about it, but it's wicked cool and I thought I would provide a link, just in case you're behind the curve like me. It's called Garmin Connect, and it's similar to the Training Center software that comes with your Garmin device, except that it's way cooler (partially due to the implementation of Google maps), and it's web-based, so that you can share your running successes (er, in this case huge embarrassing failures) with your friends. If you haven't already, I encourage you all to check it out.

Not all of my runs are terrible. As an example from my own Garmin Connect account, I share with you the previously raved about PR from the HM relay in April. I'm still hiding today's huge embarrassment.

Nearly a year?

2009-08-09T10:19:00.003-06:00

So, it's been nearly a year since I wrote anything here, and quite a lot has happened. I'll start at the beginning...

SoxFan and I are married! Don't believe me? Here's some proof for you:

Though I wanted to train for a race in the spring, I knew it wouldn't be wise with all the wedding planning and whatnot we had going on. We signed up for a gym membership instead and I spent the winter/spring working out indoors on the dreaded elliptical machine, in group exercise classes, swimming in the pool, and now and again, even hitting the dreadmill. It was probably a good break for me, honestly, because my knees were pretty spent after the half marathon last fall.

I missed running, though, and when our friend asked us to participate in a half marathon relay with him, we jumped at the chance. The relay was set up as follows: Jeff=leg 1 (5 miles), SoxFan = leg 2 (5 miles) and me = leg 3 (5k). Jeff had been running consistently, and he's really fast, so he got us off to a great start. Then SoxFan ran way faster than I thought he could and finished his 5 miles just slightly slower than Jeff did. Then I somehow managed to run the fastest 5K of my life, finishing in 36:31 (an 11:41 pace)! Again, I have to re-iterate that I had done all my training indoors on the dreadmill, and it was freezing cold that day so I wore more clothes than I normally do while running. I thought for sure I'd be sick at the end, but it was worth it to surprise Jeff and SoxFan early at the finish.

I think I just started off way too fast... Because it's a relay, and because my teammates were both pretty fast, when they handed the baton off to me, I was still surrounded by loads of really fast people. So, I took off really fast, then glanced at my Garmin and immediately thought "whoa whoa whoa, there's no way I can keep this up." So, I reigned it back in a bit, and started to get used to the idea of being passed every few seconds. But eventually I settled into a pace that felt really good. It felt right. When I hit the first mile, the Garmin said 11:29. I couldn't believe it, but I felt like if I'd made it for a mile at that pace, there was a good chance I could keep it going. Curiousity really took over at that point. I just wanted to see how long I could maintain that type of pace. So, I kept pushing it and ended up with the following results:

Mile 1: 11:29
Mile 2: 11:45
Mile 3: 12:11
Last 0.12: 1:03 (---> This is an 8:34 pace... I could see the finish, and I just wondered if I had anything left at all, and I wondered how fast I could run if I just pushed it insanely for a little while... This probably was why I felt like chucking at the finish line.)

Anyway...

All that was back in April, and I still had the wedding in front of me, so I didn't run again until after we returned from the honeymoon in late June. And even then, my running was rather sporadic. It wasn't until last weekend that I decided that I wanted to get serious again. And by that, I mean that I decided that I was ready for a re-match with the Denver Half Marathon.

This time around, I'm going to do a few things differently in the hopes of making the re-match a little easier than round 1.

I'm going to do more cross-training. I did exactly ZERO of this last year.\
I'm also trying to do better nutrition-wise. More than just eating healthy stuff (which I do pretty typically anyway), I plan to scour the pages of Runner's World and eat all the stuff "runners" should eat.
I'm going to do more stretching/foam roller/Stick. I've been pretty consistent with it so far this time around, and last year I hardly did this at all. This is probably why, at the end of the half last year, I thought my IT Bands might just spring free of my skin and keep on running without me.

Other than these small changes, I'm using the exact same training plan as last year, for the exact number of weeks.

I had serious thoughts of just shutting down the blog entirely, but a few people (especially recently) have sent me notes via facebook saying that they read my post-race report from last year's half and found it inspiring. (How flattering!) So, I figure I'll just pick up where I left off last year.

As for the training so far, I'll give you a quick re-cap:

Long run #1 (last Sunday): I shift the training schedule so that my long runs fall on Saturday rather than Sunday, but still... it was Sunday when I made the decision (in earnest) that I wanted to try the half again, so it was Sunday when I did my first long run. It was, in a word, disastrous. I talked SoxFan into going down to the Highline Canal Trail with me, and by the time we got there it was nearly 11AM (and probably 90+ degrees out). I had a really hard time, I walked a lot, but I tried not to beat myself up too much for it. Oh, this was only a 4 miler.
On Monday, the schedule calls for cross training, so I swam 750meters at the pool. It was great.
Weekly run (Tuesday): This was a 3 miler, which I ran before work. I've been trying to get into the habit of working out before going to work, and so far it's worked really great. I have to go to bed with the senior citizens at 8PM, but I love the feeling I get at the end of the day, when I know I can just go straight home without feeling guilty.
Weekly run (Wednesday): This was a 2 miler, also from work. I ran this one straight through, with a couple of pauses here and there to stretch/catch my breath. I didn't do any walking, though. This was a small victory by itself.
Weekly run (Thursday): This was another 3 miler, and I did much more running than I did walking. Another small victory.
On Friday, I did about 60 minutes of cross-training by going mountain biking with SoxFan at Mt. Falcon Park. It was great fun, though we should have started a little earlier in the day, I think. We were melting by the time it was over.
Long run #2 (Saturday): This was another 4 miler, which I ran yesterday at the Highline Canal. I learned two very important things on this run: 1.) Running at sunrise is MUCH easier than at 11AM, when the heat of mid-day is crushing your spirit, and 2.) I really do run much easier with an audiobook to enjoy. I knew this before, but I'd forgotten just how much easier it makes things.

So, there you have it. My first week of training for my re-match with the half. Thanks to everyone who's been in touch lately with words of thanks/encouragement regarding last year's post. I hope you keep reading!

I'm much tougher than I thought I was...

2008-10-22T20:15:00.006-06:00

When I woke up on Sunday, at a mere 4:45AM, I was every bit as nervous as I'd worried I would be. I could tell I was nervous because I shot straight up as soon as the alarm went off, I could hardly eat anything at all and try as SoxFan might to strike up a conversation, I could spare very few words. I did manage to nibble down a piece of toast and a banana, and then we were off.

As soon as we got downtown, as we neared the race start/finish, both sides of the street were lined with cars bearing "Marathoner" or "26.2" bumper stickers. I hadn't even seen my first runner of the day and I was already intimidated. It was still dark out, and only about 40 degrees, so when SoxFan dropped me off at the start to go and park the truck, I mainly just wandered around and tried to keep warm and tried to look like I belonged there. Mere minutes seemed to pass before the announcer was telling us all to line up according to our pace. I quickly found the "Fast Walkers" sign and figured I might as well start there, as most likely even if I ran the entire way, I'd be finishing with the "Fast Walkers." It was cold and crowded and the sun was starting to come up.

I couldn't hear the National Anthem. I couldn't hear the gun go off. But all of a sudden, we were moving toward the start line. I hit the play button on my iPod and I was instantly glad I'd started my HM playlist with "Freedom" by George Michael. I was overcome with a rush of adrenaline and when I crossed the start line, it was with a huge goofy grin on my face. I was happy to be running. I felt strong and proud of myself for everything I'd done. And I knew I was going to finish.

We ran through a canyon of buildings for the first few miles, and I instantly noticed that somehow my Garmin had experienced some kind of glitch. At one point it said 0.73 miles, then a second later it said 0.6 miles... I didn't know what was up, but I knew I probably couldn't trust my splits for the rest of the day. It didn't matter. The sun was fully in the sky by this point and I was running really strong, and I was still in the thick of the back of the pack.

Around mile 4, we hit the first (and most significant) hill. I knew that SoxFan was going to be meeting me at mile 4.5, so there was no way I was going to start walking. Finally, I crested the hill and sure enough, there he was, waiting for me with my backpack full of sport beans and gatorade and bandaids and ibuprofen. He was a trooper for carrying my bag all day and traipsing all over Denver to watch me participate. But he wasn't the only one. I had 4 other amazing friends come out to support me on Sunday (they even made a sign!), and their support kept me going at times when I felt sure I'd quit.

After I saw my friends the first time, the course took us a long way through City Park. I have history with City Park. I ran a 5K there last year and it was horrendous. This trip was not a lot better. The course doubled back on itself in this area, so I got to see all of the people who were running faster than me. It was in City Park, around mile 6.5 that I came to the Clif Shot stop. Unfortunately, this was not coincident with a water station, and even more unfortunately, I got Double Espresso flavor. BLEGH! I held onto the atrocious stuff until I got to the next water stop, then I forced myself to choke it down. My toast and banana were starting to leave me.

Around mile 8, we finally got to leave City Park. I saw my friends again around mile 9, at a water/gatorade station, and I figured that I wouldn't see them again until the finish. At this point my spirits were still pretty high. I'd run 10 miles already, after all, so I knew I could do 10. I was still feeling pretty strong.

But by mile 11, the tide had turned. I no longer felt strong. I no longer felt confident. I felt like I might puke. I felt like I wanted to give up. I felt like every step forward was a struggle. I'd forgotten that I'd voluntarily signed up for the race. My hips were hurting. My elbows were hurting. My feet were hurting. It was a mental battle. And then I saw my friends. They were so supportive they even managed to get a smile out of me. This was at mile 11.5:

Looking back on it now, if I'd been able to logically realize how close I was to the finish at this point in the race, it would have been enough to lift my spirits. But, being that I was out-of-my-mind exhausted, I turned the corner and continued to feel terrible. I wanted all that strength and confidence back that I'd had in the initial miles. I tried every trick in the book. My mental conversation was this, verbatim: "My hips hurt so bad. Pain is nothing. I do not even know what pain means." I tried to banish all thoughts of pain and fatigue from my mind. And I kept going.

I knew when I got close to the finish. I knew the course map well enough to know when there were two turns left... then one... And by the time I saw my friends again, with only a few hundred yards left in the race, my tank was empty. I felt like there was a hole where my stomach should have been. (Next time: eat more than toast and a banana before a race of this length.)

Finally, I made the last turn, and the finish came into view, a mere hundred yards away. The finish was still lined with spectators, and as I inched my way closer and closer, I cried.

I cried because I was proud of how far I'd come in a year. I was proud because, when given the opportunity to take the easy way out, I said "no thanks, I'm tough." I was proud because I was able to push beyond the threshold of comfort.

In the days that followed, several people have asked me my time. One person even asked "did you win?" Hmmmm, NO! (Coincidentally, a friend of one of my friends did win the HM that day! What are the odds?) But all the emphasis on my pace and how I placed overall/within my age group made me feel really self-conscious. Though I'd started this whole journey with the specific goal of just finishing the race without walking, I felt like I hadn't achieved enough. There were, after all, thousands of people there on Sunday who'd done twice as much as I had. And most people did what I did faster than I did it and with more ease. Just a day after I felt so proud I was moved to tears, I suddenly felt like I wasn't good enough.

I spent most of Monday and Tuesday trying to figure it out. And finally I came to the realization that it all hinges on the word "win". The conventional definition requires me to compare myself to other people, which isn't what running is about for me. I have to figure out what that word means to me before every single race. I have to re-define it every single time. Because I'll never win a race, in the conventional sense of the word.

But if I abandon that definition altogether, and establish my own definition of win...

To win is to
A) Finish
B) Finish without walking
C) Finish without walking with a smile
D) Finish without walking with a smile and a sense of accomplishment
E) Finish without walking with a smile and a sense of accomplishment knowing that I gave everything I had...

Then I can say "I most definitely won this race."

Just an hour post-finish, I felt great. A little sore, but great. And now, 3 days later, I feel like I want to go for a run. I will definitely do this again. I am definitely entertaining ideas about doing a full marathon, as well. Thank you again to all of my amazing friends who came out and trekked all over downtown Denver in an effort to keep my spirits high. And thanks to all of you friends from afar who emailed and left comments with your well-wishes. You kept my legs moving when I wanted to quit. Thank you.

Catch you up and here we go

2008-10-18T17:58:00.003-06:00

It is officially the day before race day. Half marathon day. And I am ready, but before I launch into all that, here are some things I've been doing.

The week after Moab, I was in California for business. While I was there, I genuinely tried to get a few good runs in, but I was largely unsuccessful. I did one on the treadmill at the hotel, but it was at least 195 degrees in the workout room. Then I drove up to San Francisco one day, with the hope of getting a chance to run at Golden Gate Park. But by the time I made it up there it was too dark to get a run in. The third day, I just threw in the towel. I felt terrible about it, but I'd searched all over for a place to run outdoors and didn't have any luck at all.

The weekend after I returned from CA I ran the Hope with Every Step 10K. It was a really hot day with a nearly cloudless sky... and not an inch of shade in sight. As I lined up with the other 10Kers (all 49 of them), my iPod (of course) crapped out on me. I was only about a mile in and a horse trailer pulled right in front of me, so I had the lovely view of two stinky horse's butts to enjoy.

And, after a miserable 6.2 miles, here's my finishing scene:
Yes, that is the sweep bike right behind me. He is carrying all of the course direction signs, and he was riding my huge bumper because I was DEAD LAST. He might has well have been carrying a huge sign that said "And here comes the SLOWEST runner of the day."

I was slightly mortified, but afterwards, it sort of dawned on me that being DFL wasn't as bad as I'd always imagined it would be. Sure, I was last... but I ran a decent race on the day that I was given. Sure, I could have been a little faster if there'd been a little shade, a little gatorade on the course, etc. I was slow, but I'd done a good job, and I'd just finished my first official 10K. And it helped that no one pointed and laughed, too.

In the week that followed, I did my weeknight runs (well, most of them, at least), and SoxFan's dad came to visit the following Thursday. We had a great time fishing and driving in the woods and playing board games, but I split from them early Sunday morning to do the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure with a friend. On the way there, I heard a radio advertisement for a pair of Lee jeans that instantly give you "a tighter butt, slimmer thighs and a flatter stomach." Well, that was just about enough to get me to turn the car around. Alas, I decided to head on to the race anyway, and it's a good thing. Here's a picture (taken at 6AM):

Before the 5K, I ran 6 miles out and back on the Cherry Creek Greenway. On the way, I figured out where approximately half of Denver's homeless population resides. I tried to time it just right so that when I finished the 6 miles I'd be at the starting line for the 5K. And, hands down, this was the best run I've had since I started training for the Half Marathon. The run was easy. I felt strong. I felt confident. It was... the best run of my life.

Then I did a few more weeknight runs on the treadmill at work, then the weekend came and it was time for me to do the dreaded 10 mile run. But when the day came, it was about 30 degrees and raining. Boo. I thought I'd wait until later in the afternoon in the hope that it would warm up. It did not, however, so I did not run. This was the first time since I started that I'd skipped a long run, and I was none too pleased that the first one I'd missed was also the first double-digit run.

I did it on Monday evening. And I didn't do any walking. And on this run, I figured out where the other half of Denver's homeless population resides: the other side of the Cherry Creek Greenway. I ran out and back 2.5 miles, then out and back in the other direction 2.5 miles, and then it was DONE! And even though it was just a long run (not a race or anything) I felt very proud of myself for the double-digit accomplishment. I felt like I could have kept running. I felt like I could run a Half Marathon. After 9 miles, I just sort of went on auto-pilot and I felt like I could have run 100 miles.

Which brings us to today. It's the day before the Half Marathon. And all that confidence that I earned on Monday has slipped through my fingers. I feel unsure of myself. Unsure that I can run even 2 miles, let alone 13. I went to the expo yesterday and picked up my race packet and in the middle of that room full of incredibly fit people, I felt like a complete and total fraud.

But, I expected this. I am ready. Sure, I've missed a weeknight run here or there, but I can do this. I know that I can do it because I knew it on Monday. I knew I'd feel nervous the night before the race. I knew I'd feel even more nervous the morning of the race. But I also know that I've got enough excitement about that last 100 yards to carry me through. I'll do this tomorrow.

Updates scramble

2008-09-22T21:14:00.004-06:00

Holy-lot-of-updates-to-mention, Batman!

This is going to be quick and dirty, but it's got to be done because it's long overdue.

The 7-miler last weekend was great! It rained Sunday morning, so we had to put the run off until Sunday evening, but it was great. I had to take a few "stop and catch my breath" breaks, but I managed to run the entire thing. I was pleased with that.
I skipped a couple of the weeknight runs last week. I wasn't pleased with that.
I kicked huge butt on this weekend's 8-miler (in Moab, UT, no less!). We went out to Moab to support our good friends in a cycle century ride (called the Big Nasty due to all the crazy climbing they had to do). I ran out of water near the end (more than 7 miles in), but it was the desert, after all. I was pleased with how it turned out. This was the first long run I've done where SoxFan didn't accompany me.

That sort of sums up the running I've been doing. I'm in California this week for training for my j-o-b (that's another story for another time), so I'm going to be doing my running this week. This weekend I have a 10K scheduled back in Denver, and I am looking for a good finish.

Quite honestly, I am getting a little nervous about the half-marathon. Every weekend, I think "oh dear, it's XXX miles this weekend, I don't know if I can do this." But I always do finish. 13 miles just seems like SUCH a long way. And I've told lots of my friends about this race, so I know I'll have loads of support along the way, but that makes my fear of failing all that much bigger! I guess the only thing to do is keep training. Preparation is the only thing that is going to make me feel confident on race day.

In other news, SoxFan and I have picked a date (6/6/2009) and a location! We've mailed in our non-refundable deposit, too, so now we're getting married for sure!

A big announcement...

2008-09-11T21:14:00.004-06:00

OK. Clearly, I have the most awesome friends in the world. NewMama and DigitalBoy came out to visit and we had a blast! We had a spa day, and we saw a Rockies game, and we went to Casa Bonita! We laughed and laughed and generally had a blast. Here's a picture to prove it!

We don't get to hang out as much as I'd like, but every time we get together, it's like we've seen each other every day. They're pretty awesome that way.

And.... during the course of their visit, NewMama was taking photos of SoxFan and me for her photography portfolio ...and... he proposed!

I know... let's just let that simmer for a while.

..............

That's right, folks. We're going to get married. And here's a picture to prove it!

Please try to ignore my hat hair.

We're very excited about getting married. And Ini the Dogbeast and Tux the hairy snake couldn't be happier that mom and dad are going to get married! We haven't set a date yet, but we're thinking an outdoor June (2009) wedding sounds perfect.

Like I said, SoxFan proposed while we were out posing for NewMama. This wasn't his original plan, however. He'd originally wanted to propose at sunrise on Sunday, right before we went out for a stellar run. That didn't happen, however, because when he woke me up for the sunrise run, I came up with some lame (but apparently quite convincing) excuse for why I couldn't run and/or get up. In the end, though, it's better that his original plan didn't work out because NewMama caught the entire proposal with her (awesome) camera! Obviously, pictures will be posted at some point, either here or on her site (which you should all check out because she's flipping fantastic!).

Obviously, I'll post updates here regarding date/location as soon as I have them. Thanks again to everyone who's sent their congratulations! Again, I have the best friends imaginable.

On the running front, WHAT running? Seriously, SoxFan and I did a 4.5m run on Tuesday, but then I skipped yesterday because I had an evil headache and I skipped today because it was 15 degrees outside and raining. And who wants to run in that? I'm a little worried because I have a 7 miler coming up on Sunday. I'll repeat: a 7 miler. Some of you are undoubtedly saying "what's the big deal?".... but to me.... a 7 miler is also known as.... a "long freaking way."

11 and I are good friends.

2008-09-04T23:36:00.007-06:00

Even though tonight was supposed to be another awesome 4 miler, I decided, instead, to spend time cleaning/preparing my house for houseguests! Lucky I'm off work tomorrow so I can get the 4 miler in anyway. It feels pretty good to be sticking to my training schedule.

This weekend's "long run" is a measly 5K. I understand that I'm really meant to have entered a race this weekend, but who has the time/money for that, especially while you're entertaining guests? I mean, I doubt NewMama and DigitalBoy would have found hanging around a race course for 40ish minutes to watch me run very entertaining, no?

Another funny thing that I noticed about my training schedule? This Sunday's long run is exactly 6 weeks from the HM. Yikes. Also this week, I will run exactly 13.1miles. So, exactly 6 weeks from this Sunday, I will run this entire week's worth of miles at once.

Since I have no awesome 4 miler to report on, I will describe the lightning pace with which I finished yesterday's 2 miler. OK, yeah, it's only 2 miles... but here are my splits:

Mile 1 (mostly downhill): 11:01
Mile 2 (mostly uphill): 13:10

That is officially the fastest I've ever run the uphill part of that course, I promise. Try not to give yourself a hernia laughing there, alright?

And, since I'm low on content tonight, I figure I'll share a couple of pictures with you all. These first ones are the old, fat me of a little while ago. I probably weighed about 220 here. (Jeesh, I will tell anyone anything, right?)

And these are the new and improved me a couple of weekends ago camping. I now weigh ~173.

Good times bad times...

2008-09-02T21:13:00.006-06:00

Question: If you're set to do a 6 mile run, but instead of running straight 6, you run 2m, then take a 30 minute break, then run 4.5m, does that count as a 6 mile run?

My vote is YES.

During the course of Sunday's long run (6 miles, you guessed it), SoxFan and I had a little conversation after the first 2 miles. The first 2 miles had gone pretty well, and I feel confident that I could have run 6 miles pretty well. But, our conversation ended up taking about 30 minutes, making me feel needlessly (?) guilty and slacker-like. We ended up doing the last 4.5 miles after the sun was WAY too high in the sky, so rather than being a delightful early morning jaunt down the Silence of the Lambs trail, the run turned into the oven-temperature death slog through the holy-hills batman and did you see the size of that bee?

I was tempted to go through another tedious self-loathing session afterward, but I was exhausted, dude, so I just threw in the towel. I mean, I got the run done, right? I even did an extra half mile as penance for my resting ways. And I did extra stretching when I got home. I'm hoping it all evens out in the end.

Monday called for "Stretch and Strengthen", and that's just what I did. We bought an exercise ball and a few free weights and even some resistance bands over the weekend, so I made great use of those last night. I did ball crunches (oh, that sounds funny).... and pelvic thrusts (hahaha)... and I did some seated row with the resistance bands and a few push-ups and even some curls. Oh yeah.... I'm going to have some huge ripped guns after about 8 billion reps with my 8lb weights. To cover the "Stretch" part of Monday's routine, I rolled a few times on the foam roller, basically until my IT bands started audibly threatening my life, at which point I retreated to the sofa.

And then there was today.

As I started today's run, I was thinking about the Facebook. (I was also thinking about how frigid it was outside, but mostly I was thinking about the Facebook.) It's truly the best and the worst of everything, isn't it? It's how you keep in touch with old friends, and it's how you stay in "the know" about your friends' (and your frienemies') love lives, and it's how you win at Scrabble (hey, I won't tell anyone you use that website to cheat, dude!). But sometimes, you end up running into ghosts there. And that's just what's happened to me recently. Innocently enough, I sign on... I need to check who's dating who... and who's changed their profile picture, etc.... And then, there's a blast from the past staring me in the face. This time, it was an especially friendly ghost (or so I hope, at least), and I took a chance and started a conversation.

This was all on my mind as I began tonight's run. So maybe that is why tonight's run came off without a hitch. I was really thinking hard about my old friend, and how and why we'd grown apart. I was trying to figure out how I felt about initiating a conversation and perhaps even a renewed friendship.

So when my Garmin beeped and beckoned me out of my introspection, and I noticed the little pace notice flashing at me, you can imagine my surprise to find that I was running the fastest splits I'd ever run on the Silence of the Lambs trail. Even on the uphill stretch, even on the last mile of the 4 mile run, I was getting faster! Don't believe me? Here are the official splits.

I know that seems glacial to most of you... but for me, it's pretty flipping fantastic. It was a great run. And it came at just the right time, too. After Sunday's debacle, I desperately needed a running pick-me-up.

Brrr, that's Colorado fall on the way.

2008-08-29T21:18:00.004-06:00

For the first time this season, on Thursday's run I wished I had my swift Under Armor long sleeve running shirt with thumb holes. And maybe even my running tights. It was for reals cold, y'all!

I hit the Silence of the Lambs trail again on Thursday evening, this time without Ini the dogbeast. Turns out I actually prefer that particular trail when he's with me. I only made through the woods part twice (once on the way out, once on the way back). After that, my fear was bigger than my desire to keep on running, even though I was putting together a pretty fabulous run. I ended up doing 3 miles, and my training schedule only called for 4, so I call it a success!

This run was also my second attempt with PodRunner, and I didn't have very much better luck this time around than I did last Sunday. It seems that I underestimate my cadence. I've downloaded two new episodes for Sunday's 6 miler, one at 144BPM and one at 150BPM. I am determined to run to house music. Oh yes. I will do it. I don't even like house music, but if it's the thing that allows me to turn off that one song... I will embrace the techno. I may even run with glow sticks.

In other news, I am very very excited because NewMama and her hubby, DigitalBoy, are coming to visit me in Colorado! I love it when people come to visit. I've got some fun things planned for us, but mostly it'll just be fun to just laze around and laugh. That's what we do best when we get together. We laugh 'til we pee.

And, in some sort of random (and WAYYYY late) news, I read an article on RunnersWorld.com a few days ago that discussed the men's Olympic Marathon. Now, I watched the women's marathon. Nearly the entire thing, in fact. I believe I picked it up around mile 3, shortly after Deena Kastor dropped out, I understand. And while it was amazing to watch these women--they are strong like Hercules-- it got a little tedious near the end when the lead woman sort of broke away. It sounds like the men's marathon was infinitely more exciting, and the winner (a Kenyan) ran it in 2:06. That's less than 5 minutes per mile for 26.2 miles, folks. Clearly he isn't human. It's just not possible.

It puts the lotion in the basket...

2008-08-27T11:43:00.005-06:00

So much for well-laid plans, I guess. A mere 6 days into my shiny Hal Higdon's Half Marathon (for Novice runners) Training Schedule, I missed a run. Soxfan and I had the best of intentions, but we just ran out of time. I tried to make it up the next day by tagging it onto the already scheduled run, but I didn't quite make it.

Oh well. I can't beat myself up over it too much, I suppose.

For last week's long run (5m) on Sunday, I decided to try running along the South Platte River. I figured I could run while SoxFan caught us a delicious trout dinner. The road is hard packed gravel and doesn't climb terribly, and is at a mere 6100ft. And you definitely can't top the scenery. It's beautiful. One of these days I'm going to take my camera along and get some pictures of the places I get to run on a regular basis. All non-Coloradans will be green with envy.

Anyway, because the previous weekend's 5 miler on the High Line Canal turned into such a death march, I thought it'd be prudent to carry along a little gatorade at least. I was feeling really good before the run. I felt confident... I had my gatorade. I had a freshly downloaded Podrunner episode. I had my sunglasses. I had a fully charged Garmin with a strong signal. I felt like it was going to be a "great run." What I didn't have? A properly hydrated body.

Now, I know you've all heard (many times) about the importance of drinking plenty of water, etc. And I know you're all tempted to roll your eyes and say "yeah yeah, we get it. Drink the water." But seriously. Drink the water. Oh, and don't run with no shade in an arid environment at mid-day. You'll thank me for this.

Around 4 miles into my 5 miler, I realized that I was no longer sweating. Hmmmm, that's odd. I decided to take a "walk break." ***As an aside, it's been a long time since I had to take a walk break... I may not be able to decide how FAST I'm going to run a particular distance before I head out, but generally I can decide how FAR I'm going to run before I head out. Thus, this "walk break" is synonymous with "heart break."***

I realized: I'm freaking thirsty! My gatorade was long gone, and I was seriously considering plunging my face into the South Platte River and starting to chug. Then, I noticed that I had chill bumps. It was a whole 85-90 degrees outside. Hmm...that's odd.

After about a tenth of a mile, I thought I'd try running again. But my legs felt like jello, and it was clear that I shouldn't try to run, slowly or otherwise, anymore for the day. I dragged my defeated butt back to SoxFan's truck. He gave me a huge smile and asked "How was it?" (as if my tear stained face and slumping shoulders weren't evidence enough).... I just said "Water." Then I chugged so much of it I nearly puked.

Afterwards, I had an excellent self-loathing session during which I tried to determine the source of my running suckiness. Was it possible that I was in worse shape than I was the week before? Did I not get enough sleep? Was it too hot? Did I not get the proper nutrition? Was I simply too much of a wuss? Eventually I narrowed in on the whole water thing. And it helped ease the pain that I wasn't the only complete and utter failure that day: SoxFan didn't bring us even one trout home to share.

Since then, I've been chugging water like Escalades suck gas. And it's made a marked improvement in my running!

Last night I went for a run in a park pretty close to my house with Ini the dogbeast. He was a complete psycho for the first mile, but after that we settled into a nice rhythm and had a perfectly happy little 4 miler together. However, you know that scene from Silence of the Lambs, where Clarice is sort of trail running through the woods? Well, when you're a lone girl running (with a dog, fine, but seriously, Ini would just want to play with any attacker, wouldn't he?) at sunset (and slightly after), the last words you want running through your head are "wow, this is just like that scene from Silence of the Lambs."

Today I'm babysitting for a couple of friends of mine, so I woke up before dawn (no exaggeration, folks) and hauled my sleepy, stinky butt into work early so I could run on the dreadmill. I got 2 miles in this morning, and they went pretty well for dreadmill miles. The only drawback is now, it's only 12:19PM, but it feels like it should be 3:19PM.

See? I've been doing loads of running! Don't go all pessimistic on me and assume that my silence = my laziness!

Oh, and I mentioned this earlier, but do check out PodRunner. It's free, and it's organized by Beats Per Minute (BPM), so you can find an hour or so of music (well, technically it is music) with a perfect beat for you to run to. Before this, I'd only found one song with a perfect tempo for my running speed, and quite frankly, I was getting sick of listening to it over and over again. One of these days that song will shuffle up on my iPod while I'm at work and due to my conditioned response, I'll instantly break out in sweat and start breathing hard.

Oh, in other good news, I've lost 50lbs! I should post some pictures soon.

Run from the lightning!

2008-08-19T22:23:00.002-06:00

For the novice trail runner, it would behoove you to steer clear of open meadow runs (I realize that sounds like a scene from The Sound of Music) when dark booming clouds are looming in the distance. Being, myself, a novice trail runner, no one alerted me to such common sense lessons. So, last Thursday, as SoxFan and I headed out for a comfortable 3.5 mile run in Elk Meadow Park, our only thought of the clouds was "wow, isn't that pretty?"

Elk Meadow Park is in Evergreen, a town about 20 minutes away. We chose to drive all the way to Evergreen because we have yet to find a reasonable place in our own town of Conifer to run. That, and Evergreen is a bit lower in elevation, taking us all the way down to a meager 7500ft. We chose a trail that we'd spotted from the road, and we thought it looked "not too bad". It seemed to follow alongside the road through a "rolling meadow" with scenic mountain views to the west and peaceful CO-73 on the right... Or at least that's how it was advertised through Jefferson County Open Space.

So, we took off from the trailhead, carefully dodging large rocks and logs and other obstacles determined to break my ankles, and things were going quite well until we met our first hill. Hills and I. We're just not the best of friends yet. I huffed and puffed to the top and finally surrendered to the inevitable- I stopped and bent halfway over to catch my breath. Why I do this is completely beyond me. Do I somehow breathe easier when bent double? Are my lungs operating at higher capacity only when my head is between my knees? Your guess is as good as mine.

We pushed forward, and it seemed like things got a little easier. At the turnaround point, those clouds were looking much more ominous. And only about a half mile into the second half, the bottom fell out of it completely. Huge rain and lightning in every direction, and here we are, running through a wide open field. Smart. I know.

The benefit of running, literally, for your life, is that you can produce some pretty fantastic splits. I maintained 11 minute miles for over a mile, folks. I do not lie. And now I know the difference between running and jogging (at least for me). Running for your life gets you negative splits, jogging gets you positive splits.

So, given my recent dreadmill-only runs, perhaps an explanation of why-the-heck I was out there at all is due. Well, I've signed up for the Denver Half Marathon, folks. And it's coming up on October 19th and I will not, repeat WILL NOT, do all of my training runs on the dreadmill. It's simply too much more fun (and life-threatening) to run outside.

So, I've chosen an actual "Training Plan", hereafter known as the TP, and so far I've done all of 2 training runs. The aforementioned near-death experience and the "Long Run" on Sunday at the High Line Canal in Denver (a mere 5280ft, pft!). Now I didn't break any speed records on Sunday's run, but it was a success nonetheless. SoxFan, Ini and I did 5 miles faster than I did in NYC just a month or so ago.

Unfortunately, I donated blood yesterday (YAY!) and I could barely eek out 2 miles on the dreadmill this evening. To say it was pathetic wouldn't quite do it justice. Tomorrow I'm on for 3.5 miles. Looks like I'll need extra luck to make up for the lack of red blood cells.

Yawn. I live a boring life.

2008-08-02T22:19:00.003-06:00

Where the heck have I been? Normally when I avoid posting, it's because I've been avoiding running. But that isn't the case this time. I've been running. In fact, I ran HILLS one day (way up here at 8000ft)... maybe that was it? I was demoralized from running hills and couldn't bear to try to talk about it?

Whatever the case, I've been running on the dreadmill after work pretty regularly, but I still haven't found a good place to get long runs in here in Conifer. Unless I want to run the hill route again. And can I just say---yikes. My dreadmill runs are averaging 3 miles, I suppose, but I've been trying to run a little faster, too. All in all, I guess it isn't so bad. Unfortunately, my inability to find a consistent place to run in Conifer is making me doubt that I'll be able to run the half marathon in Denver in October. There's just no way that I can train for the HM entirely on a dreadmill and actually be successful. I don't think, anyway... Maybe this is possible but I certainly don't want to do it. I desperately need to find a place to run up here.

This week SoxFan was out of town for work, so I was left to our house in the mountains all by myself. I managed to avoid being eaten by bears or mountain lions or boogeymen, so I guess I did all right. It's been a really taxing couple of weeks, though, with my mom having surgery and sick pets and runaway dogs and lots and lots of driving. I'm glad to say it's behind me.

Stronger than a Jelly Bean...

2008-07-16T11:39:00.003-06:00

Well, after a whopping 4 weeks, I show no weight loss, but also no weight gain. This is actually a small victory, considering that I was on vacation for 2.5 weeks. Of course it's disappointing to waste 4 weeks not losing weight... but whatevs. I have plenty of other things to be stressed out over today.

I ran 2 miles yesterday on the dreadmill, and I tried to push myself a little harder than I normally do. I figure if I'm getting to run indoors, on a flat surface, in front of a TV, I better do something to make sure I get a real workout out of it. So, I ran the first mile at 12:30 min/mile, and then sort of split the second mile between 12:13 and 12:46. The result? I was completely crapped out after 2 measly miles. How embarrassing. Also embarrassing: there was one other person in the workout room with me, who happened to be on a dreadmill two down from mine. I really really like my personal space, ok? I was at least lucky that he didn't choose the dreadmill directly next to mine. I would have had to leave! Occasionally he'd attempt at conversation, but I could scarcely answer with all my huffing and puffing.

I've decided that I'm going to actually start logging miles in Excel. I plan to do this very soon... But so far my lack of existence of a running log (nay a running plan in general) is only the tip of the iceberg when describing the complete and utter chaos that my life has become. Let's examine just today, shall we?

I have just returned from 2.5 weeks of completely unstructured vacation, where I did not stick to an eating or exercise plan. I've just returned from vacation to a huge pile of work. People are late delivering necessary data for me to do my job. My diet/weight loss have been all up in the air since I left for vaca a while ago, resulting in no loss (but no gain) in the last month. My house is a wreck because I've just moved and I still have cardboard boxes sitting everywhere. I can't find time to sort out my bills and my running log (both Excel projects that I'd hoped to get done last night). I can't find time to exercise because, while people are late on their deadlines to me, my boss still expects me to meet my deadlines. The dog escaped from his outdoor pen today and a neighbor retrieved him, so SoxFan had to drive my car 20 miles back to our unpacked wreck of a house to deal with the dog, only to find that the cat (!) crapped on the floor. I will likely work 12 hours today to meet said deadline and will not get anything remotely useful done tonight. To top it all off, a well-meaning colleague (in order to repay a favor I'd done for him a while ago) bought me a HUGE bucket of Jelly Belly jelly beans. You will all remember how fond I am of the Jelly Belly's right? I even dedicated my halloween costume to them last year? (I insert this here because someone at the Jelly Belly company read this post today, so I'm hoping they'll consider becoming my sponsor, and thereby will provide me with a lifetime supply of Jelly Belly's... All 49 flavors except black, please!) Anyway, they beckon to me from the corner of my desk. All. the. time. Every time someone walks by, they ask for one... and I see a Strawberry Cheesecake... or a Caramel Apple... and I think "oh, just a few jelly beans can't hurt"... and little by little, I'm LOSING THE WAR AGAINST THE JELLY BEANS.

As a side note: I do quite enjoy the Jelly Belly energy beans that I often enjoy during my long runs. They are quite delicious (moreso than say your average shot bloks or other gu substance). It's like candy, on a run, that gives you energy. That's a sponsorship I'd love to have, people.

Back in the land of the living... and running...

2008-07-14T20:20:00.003-06:00

Turns out running in Montana = not so easy. Or maybe it's just running at 8AM. Or maybe it's just running on gravel? Or maybe running while your back is hurting? Heck. Maybe it's just running at all! For me, certainly, my one (and only) attempt at running while in Montana ended in a twisted, mangled, crashing ball of flames. I packed it in after a mere 1/2 mile. It was hot. My back was hurting. It was all downhill from there, really. I did get one short hike in, as well, but honestly... does that really even count? I think not. Boooo me. I slacked off a bit.

I had a great time in Montana, though. I did lots of fishing and relaxing and chitty-chatting with SoxFan and his dad. I spent lots of time throwing the ball for Ini and Misha, the dogbeasts. One night we went on a really awesome sunset sailboat cruise on Flathead Lake, and I even managed to avoid puking! I was so very proud. The whole week was relaxing and quiet and exactly what I was looking for. I got plenty of sleep and had lots of good food (including a cookie or two and some home-made ice-cream...yum).

Now, I'm back in the land of the working world, and I actually have to get up at a responsible hour again. It's really a bummer. But Tux, my cat, sure is glad I'm finally home. She spent far too many days alone in the house (many thanks to LaCrosse Man for coming by to check on her and make sure she didn't starve), so now she's me-ow-ing non-stop!

What is not a bummer, however, is that NewMama's baby is now walking! It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. If you get a chance, go visit DigitalBoy's blog and watch the video. She's just the most adorable thing you've ever seen.

This weekend, I'm planning on a 4 mile run on Saturday somewhere down in Denver. There are no races available in the Denver area this weekend, but I'm planning on running a 10K soon, so I need to get back out there. I hope you've all had more successful running weeks than I have.

Does a bear run in the woods?

2008-07-07T21:53:00.004-06:00

Well, it's Day 3 in Montana, and still no running to report. I had planned to get a run in this morning, but after staying up toooo late with SoxFan and his dad last night, I overslept. I hope to rise early enough in the morning to do a quick 3 miles, however. I've scoped out a route from SoxFan's parents' house, and it's effectively a trail run. Except that it's on a road. So the only "trail" part of it is that it's not paved. And it's through the woods. We'll see how it goes.

Unfortunately, I don't have pictures yet to share, but I can tell you that yesterday we all spent the day at Glacier National Park, which was tons of fun. I took loads of digital pictures and I even spent some time with the ol' 35mm as well (these will obviously be screened by NewMama before they're posted here). It was a very long day, but it was a lot of fun.

Today we went fly fishing at Martin Lake. SoxFan's dad caught one Cutthroat Trout, but SoxFan and I got skunked. It was a really fun day, though, because I got to float in the pontoon boat while the others were in their float-tubes. At first I was terrified, then I sort of got the hang of the whole paddling aspect and it was great fun. Still, it would have been nice to catch one fish.... ah well... maybe tomorrow.

Hope everyone had a pleasant holiday weekend! I'll report back soon with pictures and running splits.

Does my butt look like meatloaf?

2008-07-03T14:46:00.003-06:00

Dilemma.

So last year I did the "Evergreen Town Race", aptly named because it is in the town of Evergreen, CO. This event is a 5K/10K. It is all downhill.

I know what you're probably thinking: "All downhill? Piece of cake!" But, not really. It's more like "All downhill? Piece of knee/back pain the likes of which will make you want to hang up your running shoes forever."

Now for the dilemma: I am planning to run the Denver 1/2 marathon in October. I just did a 5 mile race. Therefore, I should probably shoot for a 10K as my next event. And, though there are about a zillion 5K races between now and October, unless you want to run the race tomorrow, or on some ridiculous mountain trail, there aren't too many 10K offerings. So, it seems I may run the Evergreen Town Race again, just to get the 10K experience.

And in lieu of a formal training plan, I've just decided that I should probably try to run a 10K race and a 10 mile race at some point between now and the 1/2 marathon. Maybe I'm going about this all wrong? Seeing it all in print like this makes me worry that I'm setting myself up for failure (or injury) with a very loosely defined training schedule. Jeesh... Because I sometimes run on the dreadmill, I don't even keep track of how many miles I'm running per week! This is very unlike me. I must build a spreadsheet to keep track of this important data. I must develop a real plan.

On to other things...

Now that I've done the post-NYC laundry, I'm re-packing my suitcase this evening for another vacation! Tomorrow morning, SoxFan and I head out on a road trip to his native Montana. Unlike the trip to NYC, this trip should be very laid-back and relaxing. But like the trip to NYC, I expect it will be a lot of fun. I have a few other expectations for the trip to Montana, as well.

This trip should be:

Much less expensive than the trip to NYC - No hostels/restaurants to pay for, no expensive museums or broadway shows for which to purchase tickets.
Much cooler (temperature-wise) than the trip to NYC - Luckily, the climate in Montana is more similar to Colorado than it is to NYC. Therefore, everything we do outdoors (read: everything we do) will be minus the layer of sweat that we carried all around NYC.
Much more conducive to running - This is really only true because I expect to have a bit of free time in Montana, which I certainly did not have in NYC. I hope to get in a few good runs while I'm there, provided that I can find my way around in the wilderness without being eaten by bears.
Much more conducive to dieting - I haven't really brought this up a lot because... well, I'm not proud of myself for it.... but when we were in NY, I totally fell off the weight watchers wagon. I mean, seriously... I had pizza (fantastic NYC pizza, but pizza nonetheless), I had hot dogs (from street vendors, because they were cheap), I had hot pretzels (again, with the street vendors), I had delicious deli sandwiches... During the bike tour, we stopped at a Polish restaurant, and I ordered meatloaf. And this wasn't your momma's ordinary meatloaf. I swear to you it had been deep fried. Needless to say, I went a bit overboard, even though I had sort of planned to allow myself a few culinary indulgences while on the trip. This trip to Montana, however, is much more similar to my ordinary life and my ordinary routine, and therefore I expect to stay on plan.

We're driving to Montana tomorrow and Saturday, so I hope to be able to post again early next week. I'll be taking my camera and my garmin (and perhaps even my fuel belt) along, obviously. I hope you all have a pleasant 4th of July weekend! Be safe out there.

Running in, and all around, NYC

2008-07-02T21:54:00.017-06:00

As promised, here is a full NYC summary and race report (with photos).

DAY 1 (Thursday)
Thursday doesn't really count because, aside from having a near-death experience in a taxi, nothing very eventful happened. We did rush across town to pick up my bib and chip for the race on Saturday, and we bought dinner at a deli near our hostel and had a little picnic in Central Park.

DAY 2 (Friday)
We started out with a really fun bike tour that began in Manhattan and made its way to Roosevelt Island, then Queens, then Brooklyn, then back to Manhattan (7 hours, and 17 miles, later). Our bike tour was through Bike the Big Apple. Here is a picture of our tour guide, a native of Brooklyn (complete with hilarious accent), Richard. He and the "sweep", George, were funny and nice and put their lives on the line several times by stepping between us and numerous taxis. The tour was great because we got a chance to see a lot of the other boroughs of NYC, and we were definitely off the beaten path for the whole day. Except when we were dodging taxis across 6 lanes of traffic in midtown Manhattan. Except for that. Here's a picture of us on the bike tour. After the bike tour, we headed down to Times Square to see the lights. I didn't want to be out late, though, because the race was coming up on Saturday, and I was already a little bit pooped from the bike ride.

DAY 3 (Saturday)
Race day! We got up early and tried to get to the race via subway, only to be disappointed by the train schedule. We eventually abandoned the train altogether and just walked to the start. As you can see in these pictures, there was a decent sized crowd (~5000 people). It was a sunny day out with plenty of heat and humidity to go around. In the pre-race picture, you see me with a very panicked (upset, whiny, angry, who knows, it's just UGLY) face... as I've already mentioned, my shuffle was on E, so I was attempting to get SoxFan to stop taking pictures and come and get my shuffle! Oh! That's me in the navy blue adidas shorts and the bright green tank top, bib 5569. In the end-of-race picture, I'm about 200 yards from the finish, and as you can see, I'm smiling! Even more impressive, look at all those people behind me! In the post-race picture, I'm exhausted, but still smiling! I did it!

Here are a few more race-day details:

Mile 1- 13:11
Mile 2- 13:12
Mile 3- 13:34
Mile 4- 14:03 (damn hills)
Mile 5- 13:24

Out of 477 women age 20-29, I was 468th (but I am 29, after all, so it stands to reason that I should be the slowest in that pack, right?). Out of 3105 women, I was 2998th. I'm pretty slow. But, I finished! Even when I was sure I couldn't.

After the race, we rushed back to the hostel and I showered. Then we headed back to Times Square to buy tickets for a broadway show for Saturday night. Our travel companions were already there waiting in line, so we rushed to meet up with them. We decided to see "The Country Girl", starring Morgan Freeman, Peter Gallagher, and Frances McDormand. The show was great, and I'd certainly recommend it to anyone looking for a non-musical to see in NYC. All of the actors were fantastic. Afterwards we stood around by the stage door exit and I got a picture of Morgan Freeman (he waved to us and then rushed right into his waiting car) and I got a picture with Peter Gallagher (of "The OC" fame).

DAY4 (Sunday)
We spent Sunday morning at the American Museum of Natural History. This is just one huge museum of everything. Seriously? It would take a good 3-5 days to really do this place properly. Alas, we did not have 3-5 days, so we did the quickie tour: Space, Dinosaurs, Mammals, Sea creatures. Then we were spent, so we headed south to try to visit the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island. On the way there, we stopped for lunch in Little Italy and had some amazing pasta. We didn't make it to the ferry in time to do the SofLiberty/Ellis Island, so instead we decided to walk around the financial district for a while. It started pouring rain on us, so we took refuge in the Trinity Church on Wall St., then eventually made our way down to the World Trade Center site (aka Ground Zero).

I just have to include this, too... SoxFan, when he was a wee little child, used to pretend he was a T-Rex. So, when we got to the T-rex exhibit, I had to record his T-rex impersonation. Enjoy! Sorry that I am a complete bonehead and didn't realize that I couldn't record video in this orientation. I'm an idiot.

Sunday night, we went with our travel companions to The Comedy Cellar, a fairly well-known comedy club near Washington Square Park. This was really fun. We laughed until our sides hurt.

Day 5 (Monday)
On Monday, we woke up pretty early and headed to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. This was fun, and we got some good pictures, but by this point we were both starting to poop out a little. After this was done, we hit the Museum of the American Indian. This was near Battery Park and it was FREE! It was in an amazing building that used to be a customs house. Then we hit Grand Central Station during rush hour, then we had to rush up to Yankee Stadium. Yankee Stadium was sort of a disappointment. It wasn't as big or as impressive as I'd imagined it would be, and the place just isn't very fan friendly. Other than that, I was upset that not many of the Yankee fans seemed to be upset that they were going to blow up "The house that Ruth built." I figure if they're not upset about it, there's no reason I should be. After Yankee Stadium, we went back to mid-town to do the Empire State Building. It was gorgeous at night, but none of the pictures were fit to present here, unfortunately. By the time we got back to the hostel, it was ~2AM. I thought I would cry if I had to walk one more block. It was around this point that I started to feel like a narcoleptic. Seriously, if I sat still and quiet for more than 20 seconds, I fell asleep. I fell asleep in the Natural History Museum, the Guggenheim, and the Met. And on the boat to Liberty/Ellis Island. And waiting for the subway. And on the bus. I could not keep my eyes open.

DAY 6 (Tuesday)
On our last day in the city, we tried to hit the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), but it was closed (boo). So, instead, we went to the Guggenheim and the Metropolitan Museum of Art (the Met). I probably don't have to say again that we were really tired by this point, and therefore we sort of breezed through these two museums without noticing too much. It's really a shame because both museums are very interesting and have great collections. I think we'd just tried to squeeze too much into 6 days. After the museums, because we couldn't bear to walk another step, we got onto a bus with little idea of where it was heading, and we ended up in Chelsea (which is lovely, by the way). I probably couldn't get back there if I wanted to because I slept most of the ride. Eventually we hopped off and I got my eyebrows "threaded" and we had one last slice of NY pizza. "Threading", by the way, is barbaric and painful, and makes waxing/plucking feel like a nice little tickle.... but they look fantastic!

That pretty much wraps it up! Sorry this is so long (and not-so-much related to running, per se)... I ran again today, on the dreadmill at work. I pushed myself a little on the first mile: 12:45. I ended up getting in 2.25 miles in ~30 minutes, with 1 minute of walking to warm up and 1 minute of walking to cool down. Since I sort of surprised myself being able to run the 5M in NY, I am trying to push myself a little harder in all things running related. I figure that 13:00 is a comfortable pace for me, but I can probably run faster if I'm willing to breathe a little harder. And I honestly thought I would not be able to do 5 miles, but I did, so now all of the sudden, my idea of a "long run on the weekend" just shot up to 5-7 miles.

I hope to get another run in tomorrow, as well.

HOT hot hot.

2008-06-28T15:21:00.002-06:00

As it turns out, I can run 5 miles, and I DID this morning! As predicted, it was hot like the devil. The words melting and sweltering and wilting come to mind. I only have a few minutes to write at the moment, so I'll try to give you the condensed race report.

We arrived later than I would have preferred. I noticed that our pace was linked to our bib number. My number, being 5569, gave away my turtle pace to everyone I'd seen. BOOOOO! I caught myself a time or two staring with jealousy at some quick little skinny girl with a mere 1037 or whatever... Anyway, I was nervous but we eventually got all lined up in our corrals, ready to go. There were ~5000 people racing. And after the anthem was sung, I popped in my earbuds, ready for a race full of audio-book (a first for me). Then... oh no!.... dead Shuffle battery. The battery on the shuffle is legendary, ok? It NEVER dies. But it would not start for me at the beginning of this race. I tried to hand it off to SoxFan (leading to one very humorous start-of-race photo, to be posted later) but he wasn't allowed near enough to me to take it. So I just stuffed it in my sports bra and was on my way.

The first little bit was intimidating, as I always tend to take off quickly with the crowd and then I wilt later on and end up having to walk. This time I was determined to keep my own pace, no matter how many walkers passed me. I felt great, and it ended up being a blessing that I didn't have an iPod to listen to... there were times when my breathing started to get away from me and I needed to be able to focus completely on my breathing. The first mile went by with no problems. Then the second, and still, no problems. When I hit 3.5 miles, I sort of decided that I was just going to run the whole thing. I was feeling great, keeping a steady pace, and I knew it would be a challenge but I also knew I could do it.

The crew was great. There were 4 water stations (in a 5 mile race!) and they had folks standing along the course spraying runners with water. It was GREAT. The water always came at just the right moment. The crew was also very encouraging!

Finally, when I had only 0.75 miles left, I started to feel a bit tired, but I absolutely refused to stop running at that point. I kept thinking: "it's only 7-8 minutes... I can do this for another 7-8 minutes." And eventually, I did. SoxFan met me just a little ways from the finish, and he snapped a couple of pictures (which I will share later).

For the record, I sweated BUCKETS. Buckets, people, I swear to you. I don't know if I've ever sweated so much. The fastest man ran the race in 23 minutes, and the fastest woman ran it in 28 minutes. CRAZY.

Holy crap, watch out for that car!

2008-06-26T19:51:00.003-06:00

2.2 inches. That's how much clearance our taxi had on either side while driving 50 mph through the crowded streets of double parked cars in rush hour on our way from the airport. I only took a couple of taxi rides in my last trip to NYC, so I'd completely forgotten just exactly how exciting (and life-threatening) they are.

Once we finally made it to our hostel (Jazz on the Park) and got all situated, we did a rush rush rush trip across the city to get to the New York Road Runners office where I had to pick up my bib for Saturday's race by 7PM. We took subways most of the way, but we had to run the last 3 blocks. And... well,... if that's a preview of Saturday's race, it's going to be a VERY depressing race report. We did make it there in time, and I'm happy to report that my race t-shirt (which is a lovely navy blue with a cool logo on the front, rather than some hideous lime green atrocity forced on participants of the Denver Marathon) is a LARGE rather than an X-LARGE! And it actually FITS! Yay. Oh! And my green singlet (that's just a fancy word for technical tank-top) is LOOSE, whereas it used to fit so tightly that I would ne'er be seen in public in it. I plan to post picture-proof of this come Tuesday.

Other good news: I am officially not the only slow runner in NYC. On the way back from picking up my race packet, we walked all the way across the park, exposing us to a LOT of runners. Some of these runners are MY PACE! I know it's irrational, but for some reason I'd figured that everyone in NYC must be fast and thin and fit and PERFECT. Now I know that just simply isn't true.

The bad news: It is hot like the devil's butt here. The humidity is definitely going to play a big role in my performance (or lack thereof) on Saturday. In fact, just while waiting to use this computer, I ran across an article that said that NYC is one of the "sweatiest" cities in the country. Apparently, if every person in NYC took an hour long walk on a typical summer day, they would produce 1.3 million gallons of sweat. Well... NYC doesn't know from sweat yet. That's all I've got to say about that.

Tomorrow morning we head out for our bike tour. I think it's going to be a lot of fun, really. I just hope I can still walk/run on Saturday.

More updates to come! Have a great weekend!

And, we're off!

2008-06-25T22:41:00.002-06:00

So, tomorrow morning we leave for NYC! I probably won't have a chance to get a run in between now and the race on Saturday morning, so everyone wish me luck! I'm a little worried that the race is scheduled for the morning after we do a 7 hour bike tour of the city... Oh well... details, right?

I hope to post a bit while vacationing, but if not, I'll be back on Tuesday with loads of pictures to share. Hope you all have a great weekend!

It really is a happy new year.

2008-06-24T12:21:00.004-06:00

Time just gets away from us, doesn't it? Not too long ago, I was writing about how scared I was to turn 29. Not too long ago, I was writing about how scared I was to do a group run with TNT. Well, it's about halfway through the "new year", folks, and I think this is a good time to stop and take inventory.

It seems like a lot of us run into a period of self-reflection in the days between Dec 28-Jan 4ish. I met 2008 with the same feeling that I'd met many other years. I felt like I'd wasted another year. I felt like I had spent 365 days twiddling my thumbs, sort of, and hadn't gotten any closer to being who I wanted to be. I didn't especially like my life, my outlook, my prospects for the new year... But I figured, as I had in so many other years, that this was just my life, and I had a routine and an outlook and a job, so I might as well get used to it.

And then something just slightly different occurred to me: This is just my life.

Maybe it was because I bumped into the ex over Christmas. Maybe it was because this year I turn 30. Maybe it was because I had a sugar blockage in my brain from all the carrot cake I'd enjoyed over Christmas. But all of a sudden those words--- "This is just my life"---took on a whole new meaning. All of a sudden, the thought of spending another year doubting myself and having no confidence made me want to be sick. All of a sudden, I realized that I'd beaten myself up for long enough.

And so I decided. I decided on the flight back from my parent's house in Tennessee to my apartment in Colorado that I would learn how to be kind to myself. I didn't know what that meant, really, but I could feel in my gut that it had something to do with working on myself and allowing myself to change. I promised that I would learn to treat myself with as much respect and caring that I reserve for my friends and family. I didn't decide to try to be kinder to myself, I simply decided to do it.

That was all there was to it. There was no "New Year's Resolution". There was just a decision made and a promise to myself.

A little background information would probably be helpful at this point...

Up to this point in my life, in general, any thoughts I'd ever had about myself had always been "disordered." For years, I never allowed a positive thought about myself to enter my brain. If I had actually done something for which I felt proud of myself, my brain quickly countered with a rationalization for why I'd been able to accomplish such a feat; "You were only able to do that because XYZ... so you really didn't do anything great..." These are the things that I repeated to myself day-in and day-out for the last 10 years or so.

With only these types of thoughts in my head, therefore, it stands to reason that I had no self-worth at all. The only times I'd ever felt good about myself were when someone else gave me a compliment. My ex used to dole out compliments every so often, and I cherished each one as if it were a gold nugget. His one little statement of "You're so smart..." would keep me afloat for weeks. But, if the compliments stopped coming, so did any good feelings I had about myself or life in general.

None of these things changed on Jan 5th with my big decision. I still had a lot of negative self-talk going on, and I still yearned for approval from other people to make me feel like I was worth something. Unfortunately, making a decision didn't make years of bad habits just go away.

What did change, however, was my fight. I fought hard to learn new ways of thinking. I struggled with every negative thought that came into my brain and eventually found a positive replacement for it. I struggled to feel like I was worth something for many weeks and months, searching for someone - anyone - to give me compliments the way my ex had done, before I realized that I had only to depend upon myself for the approval that I had so greatly desired. I began to see myself objectively, in the clear light of reality, and once I stopped judging myself and beating myself up and began treating myself like I would treat a friend, what I saw in myself wasn't so bad after all.

Once these pieces came into line, things that had previously seemed impossible just seemed like things I needed to do. I needed to lose weight, and therefore I would. There would be no "trying to lose weight" there would just be "losing weight". I needed to run. I needed to feel strong. I needed to enjoy my life. I needed to be working toward something. I needed to laugh more. I needed to worry less. I needed to develop a calm confidence. And I have now done those things!

Please don't take this the wrong way! I, obviously, still have days where I struggle with my old demons. I still have days where I don't feel great. But I went from feeling great 5% of the time to feeling great 90% of the time, all by making a decision and being willing to work to change myself. Call it an epiphany, call it growing up, call it divine intervention.... call it whatever you want.

I call it lucky. I happened to be in the right frame of mind at exactly the right moment in my life and I happened to be ready for a drastic change. I had just the right friends supporting me and just the right people reminding me daily of what I was working toward. I feel like I've stumbled upon this great nugget, and I just want to share it with all of my friends who I know fight the same struggles with self-doubt that I did for so many years: The answer to your problems is right there with you all the time!

It's been an amazing six months! I feel like I've come farther in six months that I did in the last 10 years! And, now that I know that I'm capable of more than I ever thought possible, in that clear light of reality, I can't wait to see what the next six months brings.

I'll huff and I'll puff....

2008-06-22T23:09:00.003-06:00

OK. In case there is any confusion whatsoever.... Trail running at 8000 ft = not for sissies.

We took Ini the dogbeast to the doggie park up in Evergreen this morning, because we'd heard it was a great dog park with a trail that ran the circumference of the park. I thought it would be a great place to make my trail running debut. However, when the gentleman told us about said dog park with the "great running trail," he neglected to mention that the park is situated on the side of a mountain. I don't mean a gentle rolling trail. I mean the park climbs at 45 degrees at times. I couldn't even walk around this park without getting winded. Ini had a great time, though.

So, I tucked my little trail running tail and got back in the truck. We decided to try a trail at a park that is closer to where we live. I thought (i.e. rationalized, licked my wounds) that would be a better idea anyway because it's close to the house and therefore it will likely become a route that I frequent. Also, I'd seen this route from the road, and I was quickly impressed by the lack of 45 degree slopes.

All the way there, I was terrified. I felt like I'd left my "Trail running for dummies" book at home. I was intimidated on the way there. I'd seen Trail Runners before, after all, and they're always these totally hard-core, completely fit, uber-athletes, and I felt like I had no business crowding up their trails with my slow shuffle/jog/run. It didn't help matters that I'm accustomed to shuffling/jogging/running at 5280ft, and the run I was about to attempt started at 8000 ft. OK, so it only climbed about 80ft total, but even still....

So, we started out walking, just like I normally do down in town. I figured I had enough new variables thrown into the mix. After about 7 minutes of walking, we broke into a slow (read: uphill) run. The trail wasn't crowded, but we did meet a few folks along the way. And I was amazed to find that they were looking at us with the same awe and amazement that I typically reserve for runners I meet along hiking trails. It was crazy! I had these folks fooled into thinking that I knew what I was doing out there! They thought I was hard-core! Insane!

Before we started we'd agreed upon a turn-around point, so when we got there, we took a break to check the map. I was feeling pretty good (because we'd just settled into a comfortable [read: downhill] pace). Due to my abundance of downhill-gained optimism, we decided to push a little further down the trail. A little further quickly became a little steeper, which became a little slower, which became not so much running anymore. So we walked a bit to let my aching lungs recover, but I ended the day strong by running most of a mile to get back to the truck.

All told, we covered 2.5m, and I ran 1.75m. Not too shabby for my first trail running experience 3000ft higher than I'm used to in the middle of a 90 degree day. My pace was all over the place, but I am blaming it on spotty GPS signals. I know I'm slow, but I just don't believe some of the data I got from the good ol' Garmin today. And even though it put a dent in my recent "swift" pace, and even though I was humbled (but not demoralized) by the terrain, I think I will come to enjoy trail running as much as I enjoy road running. You truly can't beat the scenery, and there's always the added benefit of the potential adrenaline rush that comes from a mountain lion encounter.

After the run, I got to thinking about it... If gaining 3000 ft of elevation can make this big of an impact on my running, how much of an impact will losing 5000 ft be? Could I actually have a comfortable 4-5 mile run at sea-level? That's right, folks. I've decided to just go for it for the 5m race in Central Park on Saturday. I'll probably have to walk some, but I don't care. It'll still be fun and active and it'll make me feel good to do it.

Back on the farm...

2008-06-17T21:42:00.004-06:00

Silly me. I seriously thought that I'd be able to get my new modem and wireless router working on Friday. I seriously believed that there would be no interruption to my blogging schedule. Alas, it's Tuesday, and while I did get the whole setup working yesterday, I was far too tired to string together more than 7 words. And 7 words does not a blog entry make.

First things first: I've been running. Today, after work, I ran on the dreadmill for 2.5 miles. I kept a consistent 13:03 pace and listened to my audiobook. The scenery was... wait... it was the dreadmill. I would have preferred to actually do the run outside, but I only had a small window to do the run at all, which didn't leave enough time to actually drive to an appropriate running location, etc. I suppose sometimes these things are necessary. I still have yet to try out the trail running, but I'm hoping to be able to take a try at it on Saturday morning.

A week from Thursday, Soxfan and I are headed to NYC for a bit of a vacation. A vacation from what, you ask? Isn't living in the mountains enough of a vacation? I'll get to that in a second. While we are there, I am considering racing in the Front Runners New York Lesbian and Gay Pride Run. It's a 5 mile course through Central Park. I would have preferred a 5K, but unless I want to run in New Jersey, this is the closest thing I can find. I haven't signed up yet, mainly because I'm not sure that I can run 5 miles. More than that, I'm fairly certain that I can't run 5 miles in the sweltering NYC heat and humidity of late June. That being said, I do have the advantage of having been training in Denver... so maybe I'd win! ... ok, back from dreamland... This race would be a big challenge for me, but it would also be a lot of fun to complete a race in NYC, I think. I may give it a go. Worst case: I walk when I get tired. Worse things have happened.

Now, as far as the rest of my life goes...

Did you ever see that movie "Funny Farm"? With Chevy Chase and that woman who looked just like my neighbor? I'll give you the jist... Two city dwellers decide to move to the country. They move with all these romantic ideas about how wonderful and peaceful everything will be... But things go wrong right from the start.

That basically sums up my experience in the mountains so far. We heaved the newly purchased washer and dryer into the wrong positions, forcing us to remove both machines back out of the laundry room. Once we got them back in, the dryer exhaust hose was too short to reach. We finally got that problem solved only to find that the hot water valve to the washer not only leaked, but sprayed the entire room with water as if we were trying to grow gardenias in there or something. The plumber came and fixed that problem and ran an entire cycle without ensuring that the drain hose from the washer was properly attached to the drain, so we came home yesterday to about 1 inch of water throughout the entire laundry room. Turns out the hose from the washer to the drain is too short, and the extension that we tried to add just leaked water like a colander. So now we have 4 completely soaked towels and no way to do laundry. And that's just the laundry room!

The upstairs toilet routinely clogs and/or overflows. There was a hair clog the size of Texas in the upstairs shower that caused the water to be at ankle level 0.14 seconds after turning on the shower. There are about 872 missing electrical faceplates throughout the house and several light switches appear to do nothing whatsoever. In the kitchen, all of the cabinets open from the stupid direction, leading me to believe that the owner must have been left-handed (apologies to any southpaws out there...I have been pulling on the wrong side of the cabinet doors ever since Friday). Outside, there are birds living in the kitchen wall and a squirrel tore down my birdfeeder, which had hung for all of 4 days. Ini the dogbeast has figured out how to open the gate for his enormous dog pen, but when that becomes too tedious for his ADHD brain, he simply jumps the fence. After it gets dark up here, I am too scared to move by myself between the upper and lower floors (I am just completely ridiculous), so I have to make sure to get myself in the proper location before nightfall.

All that said... I love it up here. Sure there are loads of annoying things about the house and about unpacking and about figuring out a new place. But it really is peaceful up here. And I really do enjoy waking up in the mountains, just like I knew I would. We've talked to our property manager about all the little nuisances, and he's been very prompt about taking care of things for us. All that remains now is for me to lace up my running shoes and try out some new routes.

It looks like my house is made of cardboard.

2008-06-12T23:27:00.002-06:00

Well, the verdict is in. Moving. Officially. Sucks.

Could you carry this kayak for me?

2008-06-10T22:27:00.005-06:00

Like I said earlier today, I've had lots on my mind recently, so I was looking forward to a good run this evening. I delayed the run until 7:30PM because it was blazing hot out. (By the way, when did summer arrive in Denver? I generally prefer to sort of ease into it rather than being shoved kicking and screaming into the 90+ degree heat.) I tried to take a nap between work and running, but for the most part I just ended up lying in bed worrying about all the things I needed to do (including running).

Finally, I got out there. It had cooled down considerably, and there was a teeny bit of a breeze, at least at first. Unfortunately, before I laid down for my "nap", I ate dinner. I seem to remember posting about how I should never eat before running (at least no more than a banana or something), but that didn't stop me. I had a full on dinner at 5PM then laid down until 7:30PM then got up for a run. I'm a genius.

I ran 2.5 miles today in a record 32ish minutes, and I covered just over 3 miles total. My pace went as follows:

Mile 1: 12:55 min/mile
Mile 2: 13:06
last 0.5 mile: 7:05 (13:49 pace)

It felt great to be out there tonight. I was sweating a lot and I certainly regretted my untimely dinner, but all in all, I felt good. No knee/hip pain or anything. I'm really enjoying my audiobook, too.

The extra 2lbs of "food weight" that I carried through this run got me to thinking about the weight that I used to carry on every single run, whether or not I'd just eaten. I thought it would be interesting to come up with some kind of physical representation of the weight I've lost (nearly 40lbs). So, for your viewing pleasure...

I have lost:
This dumbbell. This is an obvious choice, I suppose.

This desk chair. You'll just have to take my word for it. The online store had specs that listed this chair at 40lbs.

This kayak (not including passenger). Seriously? I mean, I realize kayaks are probably optimized for mass, much like the Orion spacecraft. But seriously? I've lost a kayak?

This 4 year old child. I have no idea who this person is, but she must be 4-5 years old, and apparently she weighs 40lbs. I have lost the equivalent of a large toddler. Nice.

So, if you can, imagine me running around the streets of Lakewood with a kayak or a kicking toddler strapped to my back. I suppose it's no wonder that running is easier and less painful than it was 6 months ago. :) I'll take it.

The world is my spin cycle...

2008-06-10T12:42:00.003-06:00

OK.

I am officially an adult (and it's about time, too). Yesterday, I bought my very first ever washer and dryer. They are made by GE and they are white and they have lots of buttons and knobs and lights... they are also heavy. And now that SoxFan and I have wedged them into our laundry room, we've discovered that the washer is on the wrong side, so now they both have to come back out... Good times.

Either way, I'm excited to finally have a set of my very own. We found them on Craigslist for a mere $175. Where did I get things before Craigslist?

Anyway, as you can probably tell, I'm burning out at work (blame it on ridiculous meetings that are meant to last 20 minutes that actually last 2 hours and 20 minutes) and all I can concentrate on is the massive moving task that lies before me. A bit of good news is that I've already got my high-speed internet connection all set up at the new house, so there should be no disruption to my blogging and/or facebooking. (whew!)

In other good news, tonight I run. I'm going to shoot for 2.5 miles. I figure that's just slightly more than a 10% increase from last week, so it should be do-able. I am hoping that the run will help me clear my head, too, because lately I've been worrying a lot and only sleeping a little. In addition to the stressful things I've mentioned here, I've also had some happy things in my head lately. I am trying to get those things filtered into something coherent, because I really want to share happy thoughts here. Stay tuned...

Ch- ch- ch- ch- changes.

2008-06-09T08:37:00.002-06:00

This weekend, I spent most of my time not running. Instead, I spent my time cleaning, packing and searching for usable boxes. I also spent a fair amount of time painting and driving and carrying heavy boxes. Now, if it sounds like I'm moving, that's because I am moving. And that's not all...

SoxFan and I... are... moving in together.

I know, I'm a little freaked out by it, too. For a while now, we've been... dating. If you can really call it dating because the only things that have changed are now we smooch and hold hands and he does all the really nice boyfriend things (like killing spiders and letting me pick the movie and worrying about me when I'm sick). It's a little weird because we have been friends for a long time, and now we're more than friends.

So, I'm packing up my sweet apartment in Lakewood for a 3 bedroom house in Conifer (up in the mountains). The new house has lots of trees and a nice big yard and window boxes and hummingbirds. It's quiet and peaceful up there, and I'm looking forward to already being in the mountains when I wake up on the weekends, rather than being in town when I wake up and having to drive to the mountains.

But I'm a little nervous, obviously. I learned to run in Lakewood. I have running routes that are like home to me. I know the potholes and the smells and the hills. I know where all the dogs live, and I know which ones are friendly and which ones aren't. I know the mile-markers. I know that once I make it over "that hill", I'm home free and the rest of the run will be a breeze.

And my current apartment is where I learned that I can be healthy.

It's where I learned a lot of things about myself.

I'm worried that by leaving, I'll forget how to run and I'll forget how to be healthy. I'm worried that this change to my environment will cause me to backslide into my old (unhealthy) habits.

But, one thing I've learned (while living in Lakewood) is that if your attitude is right, then nothing can stop you. So, rather than being fearful of this change, I'm going to try to view it as an opportunity. I'll have the opportunity to learn how to become a trail runner, in addition to being a road runner. I'll have the opportunity to train at an even higher elevation, making races in Denver seem easier. I'll have the opportunity to prove to myself that I am in control, even when my environment changes.

I've had such a great attitude lately. I've felt unstoppable! But, it's easy to feel unstoppable when everything is going great, right? Now I get to test myself: Can I maintain a great attitude when things are making me anxious?

Get these metal instruments OUT OF MY MOUTH!

2008-06-06T08:16:00.003-06:00

On Wednesday, I ran. I ran with SoxFan and Ini for 2 miles, and it was great. It had rained earlier that day, and the temp had dropped by 10-20 degrees, so it was cool and wet out. I listened to my audiobook again, but this time I managed to do a better job of focusing on my breathing and my pace. My pace, therefore, was much more consistent: 13:08 for the first mile, and 13:10 for the second mile.

Yeah yeah... you may be laughing, but that's quick like lightning coming from me.

It was a great run. The kind of run that makes me remember why I like running. I felt strong and solid and tangible. I felt like I was working, but I wasn't breathless or exhausted. And then at one point I was breathless and exhausted, but I pushed through it and once again learned that I'm capable of more than I typically believe. It started to rain just before we got back to the house, and it felt amazing and real. Runs like this one make me want to go for more runs.

Yesterday, however, presented no opportunity for a run. It was a TERRIBLE day. Craziness at work, a skin-fold test (I brought this one on myself, I realize, but... oh, the humiliation) and, even worse, a dreaded trip to the dentist. Because I don't want to bore you with the minutia of my boring life, I won't go into the details at work. But, I have a few things to say about yesterday's other events.

First, the skin-fold test.
I'll start with the positive: the girl who did the test was very approachable and kind, and had all kinds of great things to say about the weight I've recently lost, my diet, and my running and boxing. She had lots of tips to help me stay on-plan and active, and was very encouraging. Also, my body fat percentage wasn't as high as I figured it would be.

I've only had it measured once before, and that was 4 years ago, and even then I'm not sure it was done correctly. But that time (bracing myself for being the laughing stock of the world), my body fat percentage was 44%. EEEK! I figured, since I haven't done a lot of weight-lifting and stuff, that my body composition probably hadn't changed, so going into the test, I was braced for the worst. BUT, this time I was only 35% body fat! That's great news, no?

Then I got to thinking. If I currently weigh 185lbs (wow, I must be brave today, sharing all this personal info), and I'm 35% body fat, that means I have 120.25lbs of lean mass. The goal weight I'd set for myself was 135lbs, but that means I'd only end up with 11% body fat. Is that even reasonable? Maybe it would be better to increase my goal weight? I don't know how this all works. When I picked a goal weight, I just tried to pick a weight somewhere in the middle of the "healthy" BMI range. Maybe that was my first mistake. Any ideas?

Anyway, on to the dentist. (dum dum dummmmm)
I have such a fear of the dentist that, when I was a little girl, I would worry myself into physical sickness in the days leading up to a trip to the dentist just to get my teeth cleaned, and thus my parents constantly had to reschedule my visits. I truly cannot remember a time, as a child, when I was able to go in for a check-up and leave with a happy report. I got pretty good at it, too. I knew all the hygienist's tells... I could tell when she'd found a cavity. I was 6. I have to suck nitrous oxide just to have my teeth cleaned. When a filling or root canal (or any kind of drilling) is necessary, I require nitrous oxide and Valium. It is truly the only way I can get in the door.

I blame this horrible dental luck on my mom's genes; she has always had the same problem that I have: weak teeth. I have to use special toothpaste with prescription strength fluoride, I brush 2-3 times a day, I don't drink pop, I don't eat candy, I don't chew gum... It seems nothing I do helps my teeth become stronger, and thus to this day, I dread going to the dentist with the same passion that most people dread an IRS audit.

So, I had nightmares earlier this week about my upcoming trip to have my teeth cleaned yesterday. And all day yesterday, I felt like I was marching to my death. But, it wasn't all that bad, in the end. As an adult, they're willing to really crank up the nitrous, to the point where I can hear people talking, but I can't make any sense of what they're saying. Everything seems to move in slow motion, yet my thoughts seem to come incredibly fast! It is quite bizarre. I know she must have been scratching and poking around in there with her pointy little metal instruments with some zest, however, because a couple of times I felt what seemed like pain... I started to shout out, but the nitrous haze was too thick... I eventually gave up and enjoyed the floaty feeling.

This hygienist was really friendly and generous with the nitrous. And she didn't even pester me about how often I floss.

A day full of perfect

2008-06-03T22:20:00.002-06:00

As I left the house for what was to be tonight's "easy" run, I may have been a bit optimistic. The weather was fantastic, I had a fully charged Garmin, I had a freshly purchased audiobook on my shuffle (Songs Without Words)... It was... perfect.

My running, on the other hand... not quite perfect. You see, I had all this residual confidence from Friday's huge running success, all of which promptly blew up in my pretty little face as I began to struggle less than a mile in. I honestly believe it has to do with the audiobook. If I focus my attention on listening to my footsteps and my breathing, my running is cake. If I try to listen to an audiobook or, heaven forbid, music... I get all out of whack. It's always been a bit of an issue for me, but I learned how to combine running and audiobooks before, and I will do it again. Besides, there's no turning back at this point. I've already spent $21.95 on the audiobook.

Tonight's run, all in all, wasn't too bad. I did 2 miles of running, and covered 2.6 total. In general, I felt really strong. I felt tired and winded at times, but it wasn't anything I couldn't push through. I noticed, at one point, that I was worrying about my pace. With Friday's run floating around in my mind, filling me with unrealistic expectations, I found myself thinking: "I know I can run faster than this..." Worrying about pace probably isn't the best thing for me right now, but tonight's pace ended up being almost exactly my pace from Friday anyway.

In other great news, I am happy to report that I passed my physical exam for disability insurance! (the crowd goes wild) True, I had to take a physical exam to qualify for disability insurance, which I'm not entirely sure is normal... maybe they thought because of my size/medical history/lack of coordination I am not a good candidate for disability insurance? Either way, my blood pressure has dropped from normal-high (130/80) to practically perfect (112/62). I'm so proud of my blood. I always knew it was talented, it just had to apply itself.

Things I've been up to... besides running

2008-06-03T10:59:00.002-06:00

Well, the stomach bug didn't allow me to go for last night's easy run. But I plan to take a run this afternoon (stomach bug be damned!).

So, because I don't have any running news to report, I'm going to talk about some other (unrelated) things.

Boxing:
SoxFan and I have taken up Boxing recently. And not just your ordinary old "cardio" boxing class. I mean for-real, honest to goodness boxing, where we punch each other in the face. It's great fun. It's a great workout, and it forces me to work muscles that I don't normally work, and it's spectacular for stress-relief. I haven't bled yet, but I've been beaten and bruised a time or two.

Hiking:
In the absence of running, I've been doing a fair amount of hiking. In fact, I will provide some pictures to prove it. Recently, we did an 8 mile hike west of Colorado Springs in beautiful Cheyenne Canyon. It was a fantastic day, and even Ini was worn out.

Weight Losing:
I've been pretty successful with this so far this year. I began a program with Weight Watchers on January 5, and so far, I've lost nearly 40lbs! I still have a way to go, but I can definitely tell a difference in how easy/difficult certain things (like hiking and running) are. More important than that, I can definitely tell a difference in my confidence and outlook, which has historically been a problem for me. I have definitely learned a lot about myself over the past year. But, that is a topic for another day.

Alright... That's all the rambling I can manage for now. I'll write again soon, about running next time.

Get these cobwebs out of here!

2008-06-02T11:31:00.002-06:00

You know that weird, awkward moment that inevitably happens when you bump into a friend whose calls you've been avoiding for 6 months? That's this moment.

Now that I've taken a 6 month (seriously?) hiatus from running, I'm happy to be back. It's not as if I haven't done anything active (I've lost 35lbs, in fact!), I just haven't been running. And I realize that perhaps I should have just written about my lack of running, but I was... ashamed. I've been inspired by some incredible folks in the blogosphere, and I couldn't bear to show my (non-running) face around here and bear the ridicule of taking 6 months off. But I did. I took 6 months off, and where I used to be able to run 8 miles, now I can only run 2 (I think). I put my half-marathon aspirations on the shelf. I was warded off running by snow and ice and cold weather and... I admit it... laziness. I am not proud. I hang my head in shame.

Now that all of that has been said, however, I'm glad to announce that I did go for a run on Friday, and it was a HUGE success. I went out for a run with SoxFan and Ini the DogBeast on Friday morning and ran a quick (for me) 1.5 miles.

My ability to run this measly 1.5 miles was a huge surprise to me. I anticipated being able to run ~100 yards, which is as far as I could run about a year ago, when I first began trying to become a "runner". This time out, I ran an easy (seriously, I could have done more without much pain at all) 1.5 miles at 12:30-13:00 pace!

I know, I know... you thought I said "quick" right? Well, just you ease up there. That's faster than I was able to run 6 months ago, when I could run 8 miles! It's called Slow Girl Running for a reason, after all.

As I was running, I realized that there were lessons I learned 6 months ago that have stayed with me: I've learned how to control my breathing, which is essential in continuing the run. I've learned how to differentiate muscle annoyances from real pain. I've learned that if I focus on something other than running, I can actually go quite a bit further than I thought.

If all goes well and this anti-nausea medicine continues to take effect, I plan to head out for a run this evening, as well. Maybe this time I'll make it 2.5 miles.

It feels good to be back.

How's that for irony?

2008-02-01T21:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I purchased my first pair of (used) in-line skates. I have never once in my life used in-line skates, but SoxFan and his dogbeast have been skating at the park (SoxFan, not the dogbeast), and I thought it looked like a fun way to get a little low-impact exercise on my non-running days (of which there have been far too many lately).

So, after work, in the privacy of the top of the parking deck at work, I thought to myself "wow, it's actually still daylight out here... maybe I'll give the skates a go!" So, I geared up with all of the standard precautionary measures: knee pads, wrist guards, puffy vest to cushion the fall... And, with much trepidation and with my tailbone and skullbone nearly a-quiver with the fear of imminent impact, I learned how to in-line skate. I did not fall. I was quite proud of this feat.

SoxFan and I went to a nice dinner afterwards, and after dinner, we were taking Ini the dogbeast to play at the park. It started snowing, and it was nice out. We were having a very lovely walk. And then it started lightning, so we turned back. On our way out of the park, we were walking down a slightly declined sidewalk, covered, at this point, with snow. And then... in one very suave move, it was as if someone had lassoed my feet and yanked them from beneath me, sending me flying, curse words flung in every direction, to a very ungraceful crash on my arse.

At first, I thought that my tailbone was actually broken. And then I felt the familiar pain in the palms of my hands; the same pain that you get as a kid when you've just crashed your bike and there are teeny little bits of gravel stuck in your palms. And then it dawned on me: I just fell clean on my ass while WALKING! I managed to make it alright on the skates, but somehow walking gives me a lot of trouble. I am so freaking smooth.

Turns out the sidewalk was covered with ice in that particular spot due to the last 7 snowstorms we've had in Denver recently. So, I do not, in fact, need to wear a helmet while walking. And as a side note, this seriously begs the question "HOW DO PEOPLE RUN IN WINTER IN DENVER WITHOUT DYING?" If it isn't snowing or ice-covered, it's below 10 degrees outside with 30mph winds! I may very quickly become very familiar with the dreadmill. BLEGH. OK, obscure running tangent over...

Either way, I am fine. It's a good thing I've got all this junk in the trunk, know what I'm sayin'?

Ah! And here's double the irony: I wore my lucky socks today. They're striped and on both sides they say "MY LUCKY SOCKS". ???

It's my party

2008-01-15T18:29:00.000-07:00

Whew! I bet you all thought I may never return to my humble little running abode? I'm back, friends. Now, first things first... let's clear some things up.

Thank you all so very much for your very kind words of support after my recent run-in with the EX. Seeing him, and then coming here to write about it, and then hearing all of your kind words really helped me to work through some old stuff that I've been carrying around for a while. It turns out that now that I've seen him, I'm getting over the whole ordeal. Seriously! I've hardly even thought about it for the past few weeks. It's like I've somehow gotten ---closure (gasp!). And here I thought it would never come. Thank you all for giving me a boost when I desperately needed one.

Secondly... This past weekend would have been my marathon. (OK, the RNR AZ Marathon, but still it would have been mine, right?) Huge props to Pokey, who stuck it out (not like me the big fat quitter) and finished her 2nd HM in a year! Also, make sure to congratulate Leah, over at Before I'm 30, who finished her first Marathon! These ladies did an exceptional job (though no race reports have been posted yet), and continue to inspire me to lace up my shoes yet again.

With that in mind---I have decided that I'm going to shoot for the Country Music Half-Marathon at the end of April. Why the HM and not the full, you ask? Well, it's as simple as this: I don't have to impress anyone.

When I began training last year, I initially only wanted to train for the HM. But then I felt the pressure (it's an all-too-familiar feeling for me) of other people's expectations and judgment weighing me down, and far too soon I began to feel like I had to run the full marathon to feel like I'd accomplished anything. This, I now see, is completely ridiculous. There will always be another marathon coming up for which I can train. And I believe that, if I am honest with myself*, I will be just as proud of myself for running 13.1m as I would be for run/walk/crawling 26.2m. So there you have it. A new year, and a new goal. One that I've come to on my own, without considering who might look down their nose at me for "not doing the full distance".

*I hate to call it a "resolution", but this year I've made a promise to myself that I will be as respectful and kind to myself as I am to all of my friends. And I don't lie to or break promises that I make to my friends.

Finally, I'd like to encourage you all to check out the swift little contest being held by Vanilla. If you're interested in increasing your speed this year, why not inject a little competitive spirit into it?

It's good to be back!

Small towns are great for that

2007-12-29T09:24:00.000-07:00

OK, Class. Please raise your hand if you clearly ate too many slices of carrot cake over the past week? Good. It's good to know I'm not alone. I hope everyone had a wondeful holiday! Only a couple more days until we're all done with 2007!

I have really enjoyed being at home. I've had lots of time with my parents, and I've gotten to see my brother and sister-in-law and my little nephew. I had originally thought about driving up to Nashville to visit NewMama and her family, but it doesn't look like that will work out this time around. I have eaten wayyyyy to much excellent, home-cooked food... carrot cake....potato salad.... chewy cookies.... pecan pralines.... just too much in general. Everyone was happy with the gifts I brought home for them, and I'm super excited about the gifts I received, as well. It's been a good holiday.

And then last night, it happened.

I was going to go with my parents to see a movie, and we were waiting in line for popcorn ('cause I was so hungry!), and I turned around to see my ex-fiancee with his new wife. Since I live so far from home, this is the first time I've seen him since we split up. Perhaps a bit of back-story is necessary here.

We started dating just as I started high school. I am now 29. We broke up less than 2 years ago. You do the math. No, I'LL do the math---we dated for 13 years. We were engaged for almost 2 years. Then, it became obvious that we wanted different things (he wanted to be close to his family; I wanted to be close to my family too, but I also wanted him to not be a dictator), and we split up. A couple of months later, I heard through the grapevine (which is quite extensive when you come from a small town) that he was "an item" with this girl. Not coincidentally, this was a girl that we both knew growing up and whom he had mentioned to me a couple of times near the end of our relationship when things were particularly rocky. Mama didn't raise no fool.

Then, one day this year, my mom called to tell me that they'd been married. This was slightly more than a year after our 13-year relationship had ended.

I wish I could say that I handled the situation with grace and wisdom, like Little Miss Runner Pants would have. I can say that I have no regrets. It was absolutely the right decision to break up. But it was still immensely painful to have to sit two rows behind him, with his arm around his new wife.... occasionally turning to kiss her during the movie as if to rub my nose in it... it was immensely painful that I evidently meant so little to him while he meant so much to me. It was a harsh reminder of how easily I was cast aside and replaced by a better, more close-to-home model.

After 13 years of someone being in your life every day, you would hope that you could remain friends. And maybe one of these days (give it another 10 years) we can be friends. But this time, we didn't speak, we didn't even look each other in the eye. But I did manage to not flee from the theater, and I did manage to not cry until after the movie was over and I was safely back in my parents car. And I was able to honestly say that I didn't want to trade places with her, no matter how worthless and cast-aside I felt. I consider that a pretty huge victory.

Mini-celebration

2007-12-19T00:28:00.000-07:00

OK, folks. I had my 1000th visitor on Monday! Yay me!

Sadly, they found my humble little webspace by Googling "running shirts with thumb holes".

So perhaps I haven't completely arrived yet....

And so this is Christmas

2007-12-18T18:46:00.000-07:00

I won't bore you with the details of why I haven't been running. I live in Denver, you've probably seen the weather, I've mentioned how I detest treadmills... You get the idea. All in all, I'm very disappointed with myself. I had every intention of getting back out there and running again as soon as I got better from my cold, but... that was last week and so far I haven't, and I'm going home for the holidays soon... Let's just suffice it to say that I'll be ending the year hating myself for coming very far and eventually failing.

I got new pictures of the cutest baby on the planet yesterday... Here is the angel, only 6 months old, but already stealing the hearts of many... Honestly people? Is she not the cutest baby you have ever seen? You can find more photos by this artist here.

Beware, abrupt gear shift ahead...

The holidays are a tricky time for me. There aren't many other times of the year when you can really feel the measure of a year (there is really only 1 more day that puts a year into such stark relief). It's easy to look back and think "at this time last year, I was..." And sometimes it's really hard to do. This year in particular, I haven't come as far as I would have liked. I haven't improved my relationships as much as I wanted to, I haven't gained as much confidence, I haven't learned to like myself any better. I've never really been one for "resolutions" per se, but at the end of each year, I guess I do have a few vaguely formed ideas in the corners of my mind of how I hope I'll improve over the next 12 months.

I've been more in the Christmas spirit this year than for many years past. I have bought more presents for family and friends, I've listened to more Christmas music, I've been more excited about going home. But, I've also never been more sad.

I wanted to come here and whip up a witty little self-deprecating post about my lack of running. I wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday and let everyone know that I'll be back in action soon (I still do plan on running the marathon in Nashville!)... Sometimes you just don't have it.

Boooooo.

2007-11-29T12:36:00.000-07:00

Evidently, when you turn 29, you begin to fall apart. At least that's how it's worked out for me anyway.

It all began on Monday, with a slight sore throat and generally feeling poopy. At this point, it has spiraled into the cold/flu/sinus infection(?) to end all others. I will see a doctor this afternoon. I simply cannot handle one more sleepless night or snot-filled tissue (my whole nose/mouth area is coated in vaseline and is still dry and crispy from all the nose-blowing).

I hope you're all doing better than I.

Hopefully soon, I'll be back to my normal self again, so that I may go back to my regularly scheduled (running) program.

Give Thanks.

2007-11-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't been around much lately. I should have written about Saturday's fantastic 4 miler! But, with the holidays and work and... you understand... Anyway, the slow running show is going on the road again. Back to Tennessee, friends, to visit family this time around. I do intend on getting some more running done while I'm there (I have to take advantage of their thick air while I can!)...

I intend to visit with family and friends, and perhaps slip into a food coma at some point. I'll get to visit my very own nephew, who I haven't seen in nearly a year (I am so ashamed) and my brother and sister-in-law. I'll get to spend time with my parents and their pets, in the house where I used to live. I'll get to visit with grandparents and aunts and uncles and the weather will be mild and splendid. It'll be like a trip back to September, for running purposes at least. And, at the end of it all, I have to turn 29. 29 on a Sunday.

29.

Jeesh. I'll have to re-visit this topic later, I can already tell...

So, believe me, I know how easy it is to be cynical at this time of year. It's really easy to complain about how radio stations play Christmas music non-stop and about how your neighbor has had their lights up for 2 months already... It's easy to get angry at how commercial things are... It's easy to be angry about traffic and shopping and anxiety over not knowing what to buy...

But, because I have enough anxiety (did I mention, 29?) already, and because this is actually my very favorite time of year, I am going to try to focus on what I have, rather than what I lack. On who I am, rather than who I want to be.

I wish you all a very pleasant holiday.

Oh. My. God. Becky. Look at her butt.

2007-11-13T21:52:00.000-07:00

This is going to be quick because I just worked for about 12.5 hours today, so I can hardly stand to even look at the computer right now.

However, I heard a story on the radio this morning that was just too good to pass up. Coincidentally, this story was squeezed between "All Christmas Music, All the Time" which started yesterday, NOVEMBER 12---but that is a story for another time.

Apparently, a recent study was conducted in which the shape of girls bodies were studied along with their brain activity. The findings showed that girls with a large difference between waist circumference and hip circumference had more brain power than their less curvy (nay, skinny) counterparts.

In other words, curvy girls be smart!

I like big butts, and I can not lie.

Obviously, this is HUGE news for me. All this time, I've been trying to get my butt to shrink. I thought my not-small butt was just there to annoy me and make me look ridiculous in jeans! I had no idea trying to make it wither away would adversely effect my brainpower!

No, not really... I knew all along that brains*beauty = a universal constant. It's nature's way of making it up to all of us who were "blessed" with curves. "OK, here you go, that's one super-sized badonkadonk butt with a side of 1600 SAT." Thanks for that one, Universe!

Be sure to check out Pokey's race report! She just finished her first Half Marathon! Congrats, Pokey!

This morning's 6AM run was pretty fantastic, folks. I might turn into a morning runner after all. But my Garmin died... perhaps it was threatened by my earlier post? More on this later.

I'm not sure I want you talking to me...

2007-11-10T20:01:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been doing a lot of blog reading (and not as much running as I should be doing), and our good friend Vanilla has just bought himself a lovely Garmin Forerunner. I wear my own forerunner religiously, and I get VERY ANGRY when I forget to charge the battery or have some other ridiculous technical difficulty recording my run.

That being said, I think my Garmin would be more effective if the Virtual Parter came with a few pre-programmed options rather than just the typical "beep-beep-beep":

Having my watch shout insults at me would certainly be more effective in encouraging me to move faster than that annoying beep. But, I may just get angry and throw it into the woods.

The sad thing is, if my Garmin could talk, it'd be telling tales on me for sure. It'd probably talk all about the entire week that it stayed safely in its drawer, not once getting out to feel the cool breeze across its face... (I did mention this little week-long hiatus, but I was hoping no one noticed)...It'd basically have its own little stand-up act going, talking about my latest attempts at running.

Sad, but true.

Today I drove to a nice park near home to do a "2 hour run". Yeah... it ended about "1 hour in". I was very disappointed, and I feel like I've let myself down a bit. I admit that my running schedule has been a bit relaxed lately, and I think it has to do with a couple of things:

I need a goal. I had a goal when I was working with the team. Now my goal/plan is all up in the air... it isn't good for me.
SoxFan is still injured... This is a pretty poor excuse, I know, but he keeps me running on nights when it's cold and dark and I just don't feel like it.

And I don't especially like the revelations that today's run brought me to, honestly. The fact is, it wasn't ever the team, it was just me. I could do it! I could do it because I was putting in the miles, and I was improving. And it wasn't ever SoxFan. Sure it is great to have a running buddy to keep you going, but it was always just my body and my legs doing it. So when the time came for me to "leave the nest", so to speak, I feel like I've fallen flat, because I felt like I needed the team or SoxFan to be able to do it. And in reality, I don't. It's only up to me.

So this week, I'm going back to basics. I'm leaving the Shuffle at home for the hypnotic sound of steady breathing and running shoes on asphalt. I'm running my old school route, the one I've run a thousand times. Somehow I've got to shake this huge psychological barrier that has been thrown up in front of me ever since I left the team.

Best of luck to Pokey, who's out running her very first Half-Marathon tomorrow!

And on the 1st day, she ran on water.

2007-11-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! And I'm back on the running train (after a quick week off to mourn my divorce from TNT, sadface).

Despite the frigid (ok, that's a bit of a stretch) temperatures in Denver, I ran home from work today. I'm not sure it was worth the trouble, as I ended up running in the dark on a road with many potholes and no shoulder into oncoming traffic uphill both ways in 6 feet of snow.... nevermind the fact that I had to catch a ride into work today with ol' Brokelegs McSoxFan and now I have to drive to his house to pick up my work clothes and such.

The run wasn't terrible, though, once I got started. It was only about 3 miles, but weeknights are for short runs, right? I am happy with my nifty new UnderArmor shirt (with super awesome thumb holes so my sleeves stay in my gloves). I had a nice pace the entire time, though I forgot to hit the lap button after my initial "walk for 7 minutes" routine (argh). I swear, I could qualify to play MLB based on my capacity to adhere to superstitious rituals alone!

When I got home, I finally remembered to upload my Garmin.

I can say with all honesty: despite appearances, I did not do my 4 mile run on Sunday in Chatfield Reservoir, as shown. I think I heard a story once about someone walking on water, but I promise, it wasn't me.

And, last but not least, I have discovered yet another hilarious blog for you all to enjoy. It is not running/sports related, it is simply hilarious and great for making you snort at work. And it appears to have a HUGE number of readers, so if I'm just now stumbling across something that everyone else heard about last year, please forgive my ignorance and let the finger-pointing and laughter commence.

That'll be $6 + the remaining part of your joy, please.

2007-11-05T12:05:00.000-07:00

First, I have to apologize to SoxFan. The poor guy is still crutching around, and his ankle/foot now looks like someone made a balloon out of a latex glove. Except it's purple. And yellow. And a bit green. And he just sort of limps around on it in this terribly pathetic way (which may or may not be a ploy to make me feel guilty for poking fun at him last week), so I'm feeling guilty for poking fun at him last week. It definitely is not broken. After I wheeled him into several walls at the doctor's office, he finally had an x-ray to verify that.

So, due to my recent divorce from the TNT team, and since my nightly running partner is on the DL, my nightly runs have been dwindling. I am leaning toward shifting my focus from Phoenix to Nashville (maybe 13.1 m in Phoenix and 26.2 m in Nashville?) This inserts an extra 3 months into my training time, so I am also in need of a new training plan.

For the time being, I'm planning to stick to my TNT training schedule as best as I can, though I don't want to overdo it if I'm currently training for the HM in Phoenix. But, if my ultimate goal is the FM in Nashville, should I train for that and treat the HM in Phoenix as a training run? Who has the answers to these questions?

Even though my running life is in complete disarray and the disorganization of it all is about to KILL me... I did manage to go for a run yesterday. I did 4 miles in just over an hour at Chatfield State Park. Note to self: Do not pay the $6 to get into Chatfield State Park so that you can run on their concrete trails-o-torture using their useless-drawn-by-a-5-year-old map (unless of course you enjoy being lost). The idea was to do 2 hours and 8 miles... Obviously this attempt was a massive failure. Oh well... a poopy 4 mile run is better than no run at all, right?

Making the run slightly more enjoyable was the addition of my fancypants new running fuel belt. It's the greatest. It goes like this:

***You're running... you're running... you're... THIRSTY... no sweat, you have water and your favorite gatorade flavor right here on your hip! ***

No more running "just another 2 miles" to water. It's RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! No more carrying sharp little pointy packages of GU in your sports bra. That's what this HANDY DANDY LITTLE POCKET is for. Ah, the joys of new running gear. Coming soon: NEW SHOES!

Click-step-click-step

2007-10-31T21:17:00.000-06:00

I realize that running isn't everyone's idea of a great time, but I had no idea that SoxFan would stoop to physically injuring himself to get out of our nightly runs! The poor guy has gone and "sprained an ankle" while playing ultimate frisbee, so now he's on crutches.

That's his story anyway... Of course, knowing him like I do, I'm able to see through his deception to the real truth that he is simply intimidated by my running prowess and is embarrassed to be schooled by me anymore. Either way, he's back in a week or so, if he doesn't manage to break his neck trying to get around on those crutches. Here's the scenario at work today:

SoxFan: "click..... step.... click..... step...click...step..click.step.clickstepclickstep....."
Me: "It isn't a race, for the love of pete, slow down!"

Jeesh! In all my life I've never seen a person try to run on crutches.

It is getting COLD in Denver. Therefore I have purchased yet another piece of technical running gear...the Under Armor shirt. Spectators, consider yourselves warned. Hey, at least I'll be warm, right?

Berate me gently?

2007-10-30T23:20:00.000-06:00

I dragged my feet on the way to the computer, and I'm having trouble looking at the computer screen as I type this. I am so ashamed of myself. Remember those paper towel commercials with the little kid with these huge sad eyes and the music plays "I'm sorry... so sorry..." because the child has accidentally spilled something?

Yeah. That's me.

I thought long and hard about the "to TNT or not to TNT" question all day yesterday and today. SoxFan and I even came up with a list of ideas that seemed to lessen the enormity of the $3000 mountain I was being faced with. However, a lot of those ideas fell through today (our company doesn't do matching gifts anymore, I can't get anyone at my potential corporate sponsorship to return my calls, the company party I was planning to bogart with my fundraiser is happening a mere 10 days from now) and left me with the only logical course of action. I had to quit the team.

I called and spoke to one of the TNT staff about the situation, and she said that if (by some major miracle) one of my corporate sponsorships comes through within the next month, they can add me back to the team.

As you probably can remember, I definitely do struggle with "perspective" at times. In this instance, I could see the situation positively: "I raised nearly $1000, and that money will go to help people. I tried very hard, and I accomplished some good things. I've come a long long way, and I feel good about what I've done." But instead, I mostly see the situation negatively: "I am a huge giant hang-my-head-in-shame disappointment and failure." I know, as I get over the pain of having to back out on something that I'd committed myself to (emotionally, physically, financially), that I will begin to see this in a more positive light, however. My parents were right: the right decision is usually the hardest one to make.

Thank you so much for your donations. In the last few days, several people that I've never even met have made donations, and it has been good for my soul. Your generosity has helped to restore my faith in people, which has recently been severely depleted. 100% of your donations will go to the mission of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and will ultimately go to help folks like Janie, who relies on the research done by LLS supported doctors to keep her alive. All of my sponsors have done a wonderful deed, and I thank you!

Many tears have been shed over this decision, and I'm sure I haven't seen the last of them yet. Thank you all for your support.

*As a side note, many tears in general have been shed over the past 4-5 days, what with the Rockies losing the World Series (knife in my heart) and the having to quit the team and the craziness at work and .... you get it... lately I've been feeling like the universe took a nice steamy dump right on my doorstep. I'm quite sick of it, honestly, and I'm about to come up swinging, universe. *

NOW. .. Just because I'm no longer a member of TNT does not mean that my running shoes are being retired. I have EVERY intention of completing what I set out to do (er, at least part of it!). I would sooner eat nails than give up the hard earned benefits that I've received from running up until now. It took me a ridiculously long time to work up to being able to run 8 miles!

So, I'm hitting the road (albeit as a solo act for this tour) to MARATHON again, with newfound confidence and willpower and discipline and determination. OK, I'll still be slow. But I'll still be out there. Which leads me to my next big question...

Phoenix is in January. I was planning on doing the full marathon in Phoenix, and that is what my training has been geared toward. However... most of my family and friends are "back east" (that's what they say here... not "out east" or "east of here" or just plain old "east"... it's always "back east"), and there is a marathon in NashVegas at the end of April. SO... should I shoot for doing the half-marathon in Phoenix and the full in Nashville? Or should I do the full in Phoenix because that is what I've been training for? Or should I forego Phoenix altogether and just train for Nashville?

As you can see, this latest change in direction (BTW: thanks to Red and her man---RedMan?--- for using this phrase at the party on Saturday... I can already tell it's a helpful phrase for my perspectively challenged brain) adds a whole other level of complexity and worry and stress to this venture. ***Alright, LIFE, I get it already! I need to learn how to handle stress!***

I'm looking for your ideas, folks. Let me know what you think.

Pickle on the side...

2007-10-28T09:44:00.000-06:00

First things first... Long run yesterday = fantastic. I had to de-layer early on in the run and hide my sweatshirt (note to self: buy proper winter running gear and stop trying to run in oversized sweatshirt) in a bush, but after that, I felt great (thanks be to my spandex "tights"). I ran all the way to the water/Gatorade stop, which was about 5 miles out, without stopping. And can I just say: Lemon-Lime Gatorade never tasted so good.

When I turned back, I just kept running. In total, I ran over 6.5 miles before ever stopping to walk! And I felt great. My legs felt strong, no weird knee issues, not overly breathless... all in all, it was a great run. An Academy Awards Speech type of run, according to the list published by Half-fast (do check him out, he is H to the I to the L to the A-R-I-O-U-S!).

All in all, I covered 9 miles, and ran 8! A new PR. The even more impressive PR is that I felt comfortable doing it. Sometimes my long runs can be a bit treacherous, me weaving and huffing and puffing by the end of it. But I actually felt great during this run, and my splits confirmed that I didn't get too worn out with this one.

***Side note: We ran yesterday at "Bible Park". So, I'm thinking that it's near a church, or a lot of churches? NOT SO. Apparently, it's named after a person James A. Bible. Don't I feel like an idiot? But I wasn't entirely wrong... in this area of Denver, there are a churches aplenty, one seemingly in every flavor!***

And, at last... the long awaited photos of me in my fabulous Halloween costume!

That's right. I was a bag of jelly beans. Fun? = YES, Practical? = NO. I looked like a pregnant mom in her final weeks of her third trimester trying to sit down. Finally, I just abandoned the effort and resigned to stand all night. And everyone kept trying to pop me!

Some of my friends showed up in some pretty fabulous costumes, as well. Here are HarmonicaMan, dressed as a Wii remote, and RunnerBoy, dressed as a cowboy (complete with a horse!). I didn't get a picture of my other friends who had dressed up, though. Thanks to Red (who made a lovely Angel) and her boyfriend (who was a great Jason) for coming out, and to Kev-bones and SoxFan, who came dressed as Rockies Fans.

Here's me with all my homies: (L to R) HarmonicaMan, RunnerBoy, Kev-Bones, SoxFan, and ME!

Though fun, last night's turnout = small. We had TONS of food and drinks and we'd decorated for hours, but only about 15 people showed up. It was still a good time, until the Rockies lost. Then it was just terrible. I wanted to pop my own balloons by that point. In the end, I think our group made just over $400, which has to be split 3 ways. I had dreamed that my share of our earnings from last night would be $300-$400, which would be enough to get me to my required amount for re-commitment, which is why I posted last night in such a sad state. My deepest apologies. I try not to let my sad feelings and disappointment related to running seep into the posts I leave here, because who wants to read that crap, right? But I haven't been completely honest with you all... and it's time to come clean.

That is part of my re-commitment paperwork for TNT. The official race entry form. And, as you can see in the top right-hand corner in the gray box, I have checked "Marathon" rather than "Half-Marathon".

The entire time that I've been training, I've been following the training schedule for the Full Marathon. And I've been able to hang, so far. In fact, yesterday while waiting for the run to begin, I noticed that the longest training run for the Half Marathon (on the TNT training plan) is 2:20. Which I've now done a few weekends in a row! Surely that is evidence that if I keep pushing myself, I can make it the whole 26.2miles!

Until this point, I wasn't prepared to advertise that I had my heart set on the full marathon. I'd just told everyone I was planning on the half, because in the back of my mind, I was worried I would fail.

But I haven't failed... at least not yet. I've been getting stronger and more confident with each week, and I've actually started to believe that I could do the full marathon! My long runs have been getting easier, and I am actually getting a little faster... I thought I could make it.

*sigh* So, this is why I'm so disappointed. I've invested a lot of heart into completing this marathon, and I want to do it with TNT. But I am at a crossroads, so to speak, with my fundraising. If I sign the re-commitment paperwork, I am obligated to raise another $3000. Which I'm not sure I can do, as I haven't yet raised $1000 (which I am required to do by 10/30). If I don't sign the paperwork, I have to drop out.

It's a dilemma, and I only have a couple of days to get it figured out.

Bad news bears

2007-10-28T01:22:00.000-06:00

A short update for now, since it's been a few days.

I did 9 miles today in just over 2 hours, and I actually ran 8 miles! It was a good run. It was really cold, but after a mile or so I felt fine.

Tonight was the big group fundraiser. We had very little turnout for our costume/world series party, so at best I'm only going to make $140 from it. Which leaves me $160 short for my recomittment date (I am meant to have raised $1000 by 10/30).

As you can see, I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I want to continue with TNT, but I am having serious trouble raising money. I may have to drop out.

See, this is why I shouldn't post late at night after a big disappointment.

My, my, what flattering tights you're wearing!

2007-10-24T23:45:00.000-06:00

What a monstrous disaster. I sincerely hope the Rockies' plan of getting the first loss out of the way quick and easy works out. Because tonight's display of baseball... well... you've all seen it... I won't go into it here. Let's just say there was plenty of weeping and gnashing of teeth going on, and at many points, I had to stoop to insulting the physical appearance of the Red Sox players simply in order to fight off the overwhelming sense of despair and hopelessness that overtook me as my team went down in 13-1 flames. (I am sure, despite appearances, that Manny Ramirez doesn't really drown puppies in his spare time. And Big Papi doesn't look that much like Shrek, does he?)

*sigh*... Setting the punch bowl of sour grapes aside....

Last night's run went off without a hitch. SoxFan and I did a comfortable 3.5 miles. Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately, for the purposes of this blog) there was nothing extraordinary to report. It was dark and cold, but the full moon was nice.

Tonight, however, was my first experience at the track. I have to admit, I was quite nervous about the idea of meeting up with people and running around in circles. Especially when we all got there and I saw that I would clearly be the one pulling up the rear again. Don't get me wrong, it's all fine and good to be pulling up the rear when you're running a long out-and-back run and no one can really tell that you're dead last. But when you're running in a circle...well, I just imagined that everyone would finish their lap and then stand around chitty-chatting while I dragged my slow butt in. (note: this is not how track workouts operate!)

So, we started off with a couple of hearty make-you-look-completely-ridiculous stride exercises, as if my running "tights" weren't already accomplishing that task.

*****And by the way, running "tights" are just another name for Spandex, friends. You can use whatever euphemism you like, but in the end, it's just good ol' Spandex, just like it was back in 82. And just like back then, I consider it a privilege, not a right, and therefore I choose to run in "tights" with shorts on over the top. Now who's ridiculous?*****

After the drills, we took off running fast/slow intervals. I thought I knew what I was getting into here. So, I took off! And it felt unbelievable to be running so fast! I was taking these holy-moly long strides moving gracefully and effortlessly, and I felt the breeze whipping past me at an alarming rate. I'd finally tapped into my inner Kenyan!

But after lasting a mere 200 meters at a lightning fast pace of 8:30ish (yes, you read that correctly, and no you're not in the wrong place) I CRASHED AND BURNED... My slow intervals became walking intervals, and my fast intervals returned to a more reasonable 11:30ish. Much better. We only did this three times (which ended up being about 2 miles), and while I was kindof tired at the end of each fast interval, I left the track feeling like I needed to go work out.

But, the game was on...so...you know...

Vacation running, new babies, good friends

2007-10-22T23:47:00.002-06:00

A funny thing about running in new places is that you don't know what you're in for until you're already in it. In an extraordinarily ambitious move, I woke at 6AM to go for my long run on Vacation Saturday. I had planned my route meticulously on Friday night, even. I picked a route that was a bit short (only 9.25ish miles) for the time I was supposed to run (2:45), but it was HILLS... so I was hoping it would balance out.

The run started out well enough. It was a gorgeous morning with lots of sun and the temperature was perfect. I was enjoying the thick air (running really is a lot easier outside of Denver!) and the views, and even the way my legs were hurting a bit. And I surprised myself by climbing a few hills that I thought looked impossible! All in all, things were great. My amazingly awesome friends even drove out to meet me at the halfway point to bring me a fresh cold bottle of water. They're the BEST!

At some point, I made a wrong turn, however... and things began to get ... interesting. The shoulder got more and more narrow (the word non-existent comes to mind), the cars kept getting faster and faster.... the road kept getting twistier and turnier (ok, those definitely aren't words)...Finally, I met a local and decided to ask a few questions to regain my bearings, but the poor guy I was talking to seemed completely befuddled as to WHY I was out there at all. I tried to explain that I was running, just for exercise, that I wasn't lost, I just needed to make sure the road I was on would eventually connect with the one I was looking for.... no such luck, though. After completely creeping me out ("I don't even leave my driveway without a gun around here..." ?????), I took off again and followed the directions that the guy had given me to get to where I wanted to be. As I turned off the main road and down a less populated one, though.... I got scared thinking about how this creepy guy knew where I was headed, and now here I was on a deserted road all alone...ok, deserted is probably a bit of a stretch....

So, I was 2:20 in, and I called my amazingly awesome friends to just come and pick me up. Long story short, I only made it 8.5ish miles. BUT, it is still a HUGE success because I was on vacation, and everyone else slept in while I was running! I have more willpower than I realized.

I had a great time spending time with my friends, too. We had lots of laughs and good conversation... we played board games and watched stand-up and mostly played with the new baby. It was good times all around. I have some things I'd like to talk about here, but I haven't had a proper chance to really get it all down on paper yet. Soon, though.

And, just because she's adorable, here's a picture of the little angel herself.

Things on the horizon.... recommitment paperwork with TNT, fundraising, long runs that are actually short runs, and my latest thoughts on life as I know it. Oh, and a smooch.

Babies and running gods...

2007-10-19T12:45:00.000-06:00

So, I've made it to NashVegas, finally... And things are GREAT! My friends and I are all doing our best to assist NewMama with the baby, but she's fussy with us when we try to feed/change/clothe/rock her... What can I say. She's a momma's girl. It's just part of what makes her adorable. :)

I haven't been running in Nashville yet, though I was supposed to go last night. Instead, I stayed in and we ate pizza. NICE JOB, huh? Tomorrow morning, though. I'm hitting the asphalt at 6.

In other strange news, someone arrived at my glorious blog today after google searching "running gods". No kidding. On the other hand, a few days ago, someone arrived here after googling "slowness in runners". Eh....

Good luck to everyone going on long runs tomorrow!

blah blah VACATION blah

2007-10-17T20:36:00.000-06:00

Alas, my long awaited trip to NashVegas has arrived! I head out tomorrow, and I won't be back until Sunday... so, if you don't hear from me.... let's just hope that I'm still running. :)

Today was my typical panic-before-the-vacation day. I spent the first few hours flurrying around work, then realized I had tons of things to do outside of work, as well... so I left and flurried around town for a while. I've been dogsitting for SoxFan all week, and I inadvertently locked Ini and Tux (my 5 year old cat) in the same room while I went for my run tonight. I generally try to keep them separated, and this is the first time they've been alone together. The good news is: both are still breathing.

Tonight's run was a bit tenuous. I was in a rush, so I didn't do my typical walk 0.4 miles at the beginning... I just ran straight from the door. So in the beginning especially my legs were sore and tight. I made it 3 miles in nearly 45 minutes, so I was pretty happy.

Alright, alright. This is officially the lamest post in the history of the world, but I have GOT TO RUN and pack. Yay for vacations! I will write more once I make it to Nashville.

Big Mistakes and the Denver Marathon

2007-10-14T16:19:00.000-06:00

In a word: Soggy. That describes this weekend (as it relates to running, at least). Also: cold, wet, damp, freezing, numb and what-the-heck?

I'll start with yesterday's long run. As I was reaching for cereal for breakfast, I realized that it was already 6:35am and I was thereby late. So, I rushed out the door, not even bothering to dump the teeny gravel out of my shoes from my last run. I was heading to a new meet-up spot with the TEAM, so I was rushing while not knowing exactly where I was going, and I nearly caused an accident trying to make the turn into the correct parking lot. In my haste to not be late, I did not fill up my water bottle before leaving the house. (This shall be known as Big Mistake #1.)

It was about 50 degrees and misting rain when I got out of the car. I noticed that the typical TNT personnel weren't present, and that the coaches were in charge of setting up food/gatorade/water for the run. I kept looking around trying to find some water to fill up my bottle, but it wasn't readily available anywhere. We were about to leave, and I had only a couple of squirts of water left from last week, so I figured "oh well, I'll just not carry my water bottle this time... there'll be a table of water at the turnaround spot..." (This shall be known as Big Mistake #2.)

I'm running, running.... listening to my new audiobook (by the way, if you'd like a review of Into the Wild, by Jon Krakauer, let me know)...and I'm actually feeling pretty good. Aside from my t-shirt which is cotton and has by now absorbed about 3 gallons of mist from the air, I'm doing good.

About 4 miles in, I am starting to get pretty thirsty. I ask another TEAM member who's on her way back "How much further to water?" "I didn't see any water." OHHHH dear. My turnaround point ended up being a little bench on the side of the trail, where I pulled over to stretch my muscles. A lovely lady TEAM member saw me and asked if I needed anything, and she was kind enough to give me a couple of squirts from her water bottle to wash down my shot bloks. We walked for a few minutes together, and then she was on her way. (Thank you so much, kind lady!)

I ran as much as I could on the way back, but I was struggling. SoxFan's words kept ringing in my ears "It's the part at the end, when it really hurts and you want to quit, that makes you stronger!" Finally, I got back to the start point and saw that most people had already left. I was confused. My Garmin said that I'd only been gone 2:24. Where was everyone?

And then, it's as if the entire thing was in slow motion... I saw the cooler... the one that usually holds all the delicious gatorade and water bottles for after the run.... it was upside down in the parking lot... empty. NOooooo! By this point, I am basically coughing up sand I'm so thirsty. The coach thought everyone was in already, so he just gave a bunch of bottles of gatorade to this one woman. (This shall be known as Big Mistake #3, and I'm not even responsible for this one.) I actually stooped down and grabbed ice cubes from the top of the pathetic little pile and ate them... off a dirty parking lot. How thirsty was I?

Then I find out that it's actually 20 til 10... so it's understandable that they thought everyone was in... My garmin stops every time that I stop moving... so all my little stretch breaks added up. :( Sadface.

Afterwards, I had so many little errands I needed to do, I didn't properly stretch, so by the time I made it to Kev-bones' concert, I had a serious knee/ITband issue. (Obviously, Big Mistake #4.)

In good news, I finally did get something to drink (and eat! I was ravenous by the time I made it home). And, I covered about 9 miles and ran 6.9 miles! Yay! Another weekend, another new PR.

Today, I volunteered to work at the TNT water station for the Denver Marathon. Again, the weather was perfectly dismal, except that now the temp had dropped to a mere 40 degrees. It was amazing seeing the elite runners come through (they actually maintain that speed for 26 miles?), then the normal folks (they actually maintain that speed for 26 miles?), then the back-of-the-packers (they actually maintain those smiles for 26 miles?). It was cold, wet work, but I left with a warm feeling inside anyway. There were thousands of brave folks out there in the cold and rain, when they probably just wanted to quit. But they kept going, teaching me a thing or two:

If that woman, who probably weighs 300+ pounds, can keep going...so can you.
If that man, who is probably 80 years old, can keep going...so can you.
If that woman, who does not have legs and will run this entire race with the strength of her arms, can keep going...so can you.
It's good to be kind to the volunteers! So many people shouted "THANK YOU!"... it kept my cold, wet hands a little warmer.
It's hard to be at the back-of-the-pack. Try hard to ignore the people sweeping up cups as you pass by. They aren't trying to rush you or crush your spirit or make you feel bad... they are just trying to keep the cops happy.
The weather is only going to get worse in Denver, so I best figure out a way to suck it up.
Even when it hurts, you've got to keep your smile... it's where your strength comes from.

Hope everyone had fun, safe runs this weekend!

General flighty non-sense...

2007-10-12T16:15:00.000-06:00

Hurrah, Rockies! And Hurrah Larry Vanover for making the right (if un-popular in the home field) call. I tell you what: just like most of the country, I am being swept off my feet by these Rockies lately. Baseball, I find, is similar to basketball in that it’s many many moments (months, minutes, whatever) of slow, tedious play, followed by a few moments of total excitement. Hurrah for Rocktober.

In other news, I have come up with the cutest halloween costume for our TNT fundraiser (of course you're all invited!). I don't want to give away the suprise just yet, but I can tell you that it's adorable and delicious and quite poignant. In my quest to come up with the perfect costume, I hastily passed over the more obvious choices (the ghost, the hobo, the kitty-cat, the cowgirl...). No, I prefer to dress up as in-animate objects, so my considerations were more focused around being an iPod Shuffle, spaghetti and meatballs, or a giant shoe. Hilarious pictures will certainly be taken and posted for your viewing pleasure.

Tomorrow’s long run is 2:20! Yikes! Figuring that I made it 7 miles last weekend in 1:52, I think that I should be able to safely make it 8.25 miles tomorrow. Aside from the fact that it’s completely insane that these are the types of distances that I run now… (anyone with me here?)...Also tomorrow I must do all of the following things:

I must try to be clever and come up with something funny/witty/purple/green to wear to the Denver Marathon on Sunday.
I must figure out the situation with my season ski pass and buy something…(Do I branch out and buy the Colorado Pass or do I go with my old standby, the Rocky Mountain Super Pass? Will Copper feel betrayed if I slide down other hills this season? Will I feel like a traitor? I am not kidding, this is how my mind works.)
Tomorrow night is Kev-bones big concert with the Boulder Philharmonic (they’re excellent!), so I’ll be going to that...

Ahhhh! These are the types of days when I feel like my head might actually explode. But it will definitely be good to spend some time with friends and it’ll be nice to take care of these things because it’ll make me feel productive (which I could really use after the way this week has gone).

Next weekend is NashVegas! And NewMama has promised to take some running-related photos that I can share! She's quite the photographer, NewMama. Hurrah, NewMama!

Crash and sleep...

2007-10-10T11:24:00.000-06:00

You know how you often hear people say: “I do better when I work out with someone… that way, I’m accountable to them, and so I’m less likely to skip a workout…”

NOT SO in my case. Apparently I am some type of as-yet-unidentified scum with no conscience. Because SoxFan got up this morning and drove to my house, dogbeast Ini in tow, and was ready to make up last night’s skipped run with me at 6:30AM, and I sent him away so I could get an extra 45 minutes of sleep… Clearly, I am not human. And I feel completely terrible and horrid and insensitive and ungrateful and all things bad.

But, public self-deprecation aside, this begs the question: Why was I even attempting to run at such a ridiculous hour? I’ve mentioned before that I’m not geared to run in the pre-dawn hours, that I do better in the evenings anyway. Well, it’s funny you should ask that…

A few days ago, I was talking about aesthetics. And how I thought it would be nice to see more of an aesthetic benefit to all the running I’ve been doing. And I mentioned how I was going to make some changes to my diet, to see if that helped with the running and the aesthetics. Shortly after making these comments, I weighed myself, and I’d lost about 12 pounds! It isn’t a ton, no, but it’s enough to show, and it isn’t too bad for only 4 weeks of serious training.

I was excited, so when I went grocery shopping this week, I bought items that the nutritionist recommended, and I began trying to have smaller portions of good-for-you foods at every meal. Then… I became… le..th..a.r.g…i….c. And this sensation was all too familiar.

A while ago, my brother announced his wedding day. And then his (then) fiance’ announced her bridesmaids’ dress selection. And then I announced my ridiculous and scary and not-at-all-healthy crash diet. I was taking in about 700 calories per day. I know, I know, it was stupid… but I was a desperate woman! Had you seen this dress, perhaps it would make more sense.

Anyway, not only was I eating next to nothing, I was also exercising compulsively (3 hours a day for 6 days a week). So, naturally, the pounds started melting away. Alas! My plan was working! Hahaha, I win this round, Slinky Red Dress!

Eventually, though, I became …le..th..a.r.g…i….c and more than a little insane (it’s silly to be afraid to eat dry toast!).

This time around, I’m not insane (thank goodness), but I do think I might have swung too far on that “diet” spectrum. So, today, I’m trying something new: taking in enough calories from foods that are actually good for you. I sincerely hope that is what is wrong with me lately, because otherwise, I may just be one of the lucky few in this world who has managed to catch mono twice!

It was worth the purple mylar eyelashes!

2007-10-07T08:58:00.000-06:00

I suppose it's a good thing that I do a written weblog, rather than a video weblog, because I can hardly talk today after all the SCREAMING I did last night as the Rockies swept the Phillies in the NLDS! I was finally able to answer in the affirmative when SoxFan asked me "Is this anything like an Auburn game?" Yes, just add twice as many screaming fans, and you're there! It was, hands down, the most exciting MLB game I've ever been to, be it Rockies/Cardinals/Sox/Marlins/etc. And, for your viewing pleasure, here is a shot of my very favorite Rockie: Matty. *swoon*

There was a sentimental moment during the pre-game hysteria when Mike Coolbaugh's sons (5 and 4) threw out the ceremonial first pitch. Mike Coolbaugh was a former big-league player who had recently been hired as a coach for one of the Rockies farm teams. He was killed in July by a line drive foul ball down the first base line. Mike's wife is still pregnant with their third child. The Rockies players recently voted to give Mike's family a full-playoff share. Heart, people. It's difficult to come by, especially in professional sports.

OK. Back to running... sorry for the detour.

Yesterday's group run was good. It was chilly and very windy, yet there were 50 or so TNT team members out for the run. And it was an especially fantastic day because I finally won one of the little prizes that they always give out: the one for being present at all of the group training runs so far. Yay me!

The plan for yesterday was to run 2 hours, out and back. I figured this would be about 8 miles for me. So, in my customary way, I walked the first 7 minutes, then I began running. And, in my customary way, I was hating it for the first 1.25-1.5 miles. After a while though, I settled into my slow pace. On the way out, I figured out that I can't run with my latest audio book selection ("Giving", by Bill Clinton); I am sure it's a wonderful read, it is just a bit too dry for running purposes. I'm going with a thriller next. Oh! And I figured out that I can listen to music and run. I just have to focus on running, rather than on the music.

By the time I'd run 52 minutes (3.5 miles), I was spent. I knew I should keep going the extra 8 minutes, but I could see the shade on the trail disappearing, and I couldn't bear the thought of 8 more minutes of running staring into the sun. I was finished. So, I turned back and began walking so that I could re-fuel.

My fuel selection for yesterday were Orange Shot Bloks by Clif. They were OK. The consistency was similar to a gumdrop, and the taste was fine initially but they packed a pretty severe aftertaste. Also, I'm not convinced that they packed the same energy punch as the GU.

On the way back, I decided to repeat exactly what I'd done on the way out. So, I kept walking until I'd walked .37miles, then I stopped to stretch, and then I was off again. (Wow, that makes it sound fast!) I made it nearly 2 miles before I had to take a walk break (only 2 minutes of walking, though!). I walked one tenth, and then ran some more. After a while, another walk break... And then, I ran it the rest of the way in.

So, totals... I covered 7 miles. And I ran 6.07. Yay for PR's. No problems with my knee at all, at least until I got back and sat down for a while. All in all, I felt great!

Afterwards, TNT held a nutrition seminar for us. The nutritionist was very helpful, and she taught me something I didn't know: Pop is bad for you. OK, OK, I guess I already knew that. But, I didn't know exactly why. Is it because a can of pop has a whopping 10.2 teaspoons of sugar in it? No, your dentist loves that.

Pop (almost every brand, diet, regular, Coke, Pepsi, Dr.P., brown, green, otherwise) has phosphoric acid in it. This is part of what makes the bubbles, which we all know, makes the nectar of the gods stay fresh. Now, do you know what else has phosphoric acid?

Tilex. Scrubbing Bubbles. Things you use to de-scum your shower. And why is this so? It's because phosphoric acid clings to calcium. It sticks to calcium and drags it right off your bathroom tiles, and similarly, right out of your bones.

Well, maybe I'm the only idiot out there who didn't know about this, but.... I didn't know about this! So, considering my troubled joints and my recent decision to take a vitamin supplement to help increase joint strength/cartilage production (thanks SoxFan!), I think an equally important step is to eliminate things that will defeat the purpose of said supplement.

She also gave us a very handy list of things that we, as athletes (I could hardly contain my laughter imagining myself an athlete), should be eating every single day. It was good, sound advice, and I'll make some changes to my weekly shopping trip.

I decided to miss the Komen 5K Race for the Cure this year. I sent in my first of many Student Loan Repayment checks yesterday, and I'm still in the money shock. Also, I didn't get in until nearly midnight (go Rockies!). Also, I did 7 miles yesterday. I was tired. My legs were sore. Clearly, I have no lack of excuses for my slacker self.

Testing... 1-2-3...

2007-10-05T21:59:00.001-06:00

After a brief hiatus (i.e. I took Thursday night's run OFF due to impending knee doom), I am back in action and ready for another group run tomorrow. This time around, it's me vs. 2 hours of running. Smart money is on the 2 hours.

Other than feeling nervous about the knee issue flaring up again, I'm feeling good about tomorrow's run. The weather is supposed to be nice but cool, which typically works in my favor. And we're running on the nice gravel-ish shaded path, rather than the concrete torture trail of last weekend, so that will be a huge improvement. I have decided to try Shot Bloks tomorrow instead of GU, so I'll let you know how that works out. (I know, I know... you're absolutely riveted, right? Can't wait to hear about the taste/texture/smell of Orange shot bloks? Why can't we all have exciting vacations to MEXICO to report on? :) )

Very shortly, however, I get to go and visit my bestest good girlfriends in NashVegas! Isn't it funny how the weeks leading up to a vacation always seem to l a s t ... f o r e v e r ?

Good luck to everyone heading out for their long runs tomorrow!

An open letter to the running gods...

2007-10-04T11:35:00.000-06:00

Dear running gods---

I appreciate the consistency that you introduce into my running schedule-really, I do. No matter what else is going on, I know that I can pretty much depend on you to follow up one fantastic run with one that is equally dismal. But this time, oh running gods, you have outdone yourselves.

The finesse with which you patiently allowed me to run along at a quick pace, foolishly believing “hey, this looks like it could be another PR,” was legendary. You really had me going there! I felt strong, confident and comfortable. It was the classic “jerk-the-chair-away” trick nearly 3 miles in, therefore, as you struck my right knee (ah! My good knee, even!) with a pain the likes of which I have never experienced. As we used to say in the South, this pain would “make you wanna slap yo’ momma!”

I imagine you all huddled around, some chuckling in quiet guilt and some outright having a nice hardy laugh, while watching me hobble the rest of the way home. Quite certainly the most humorous moment of all must have been witnessing me trying to climb the stairs back into my apartment, only to collapse on the couch before reaching the ice-pack in the freezer, a mere 20 feet away.

Ah, those were good times, last night. I am glad to have provided such vulnerable fodder for your tomfoolery. Hahaha, the joke is on me!

However, I fear that continued bullying in this manner may lead to a strained relationship between us. And, as I have professed on more than one occasion, I just want us to get along and be happy with one another. So, if you will now kindly remove the remnants of said pain from my knee, we can get back to our regularly scheduled running schedule.

Yours Truly,

Slow Girl Running

Planets align for Rockies... and ME!

2007-10-02T20:45:00.000-06:00

First of all, can I just say... GO ROCKIES! And perhaps equally important---MATT HOLLIDAY is the cutest bald man on the planet. SoxFan had the amazing foresight to buy tickets early to go see Game 3 of the NLDS (Phillies @ Rockies). Woohoo! Playoff games in Denver! I am excite.

Today's run was grrrreat! I skipped Sunday's scheduled run (shhh, don't tell anyone), so having not run since Saturday, I was expecting tonight's run to be more of a death shuffle than a pleasant 45 minute run. I got home late from work and it was already getting dark, and I had a weird blister-ish feeling on my right heel... generally it did not appear that planets had aligned in my favor. So, what did I do?

I PR'ed.

Mile 1--->13:27
Mile 2--->14:15 (darn side stitch)
Mile 3--->14:13
.11 miles to finish---> 1:36 (13:26 pace!)

That's right, friends. My fastest ever 5K at 43:31. And it felt really great. Just like I've said before, the first mile and a quarter sucks pretty bad, but after that, it gets a lot easier. And, I tried out my new sports 'lady garment', and it is just splendid. Minimal bouncing = happy slow girl running. This weekend's Komen Race for the Cure should be a great time challenge and a good time, to boot!

I was really worried about missing Sunday's 30 minute run, but I skipped it because I was still really tired from Saturday's run and all the successful shopping on Sunday afternoon (it's hard work finding loads of great deals on clothes!). So, since I wasn't feeling up to it, I took a chance and *gasp* shunned my running schedule and instead chose to listen to my body---which told me to sit on my couch for a while and drink sleepytime tea and then crash into bed early. My legs felt all the better for it, though I'm not sure if this is a good idea in the long term.

So I ask you, because you guys are knowledgeable in such things, when training for a 1/2 marathon in 3 months, is it better to listen to your body or tell your body to shut the heck up and just get in the miles?

Ahhh... the post-great-run euphoria is setting in, and so I'm off to bed. Happy running tomorrow, folks!

Excuse me, ma'am, your skeleton is showing.

2007-10-01T10:39:00.000-06:00

In all my ravings about the joys of running, I have been neglecting to mention one small hiccup. Aside from my legs becoming visibly stronger and more muscular (thanks a lot, legs, as if you don’t look absolutely Herculean and manly already), I have not noticed a marked change in my appearance as a result of the running. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I am not a vain person (as anyone who has seen me leave my house for work/school/other outing with no shower/makeup/comb through my hair can attest), but I do desire at least a minimal aesthetic benefit from all this running. Alas, I was bemoaning this fact on Saturday afternoon with SoxFan, and I resolved to make a few small changes to my eating habits (namely, eliminate my eating habit).

But yesterday, oh blessed day, everything turned around.

Typically, I arrive home from a casual shopping trip in one of the following states:

Crying,
About to begin crying,
Red-faced and puffy from crying all the way home, or
Gleeful and ecstatic because I bought electronics and did not venture near the clothing stores.

However, yesterday I went clothes shopping and I returned with a HUGE smile on my face. I bought a very smart pair of trousers and a couple of sweaters and a t-shirt and … oh, you get the picture, I bought a lot of stuff (mostly on sale, even!). But perhaps my happiest moment was buying lady garments (you know, the ones you wear under your shirt?). I usually have terrible luck in this particular department, but yesterday, I was successful 3 times. Hahaha, clothing gods, I win this round!

All of that should have made for a near perfect day, no? Oh, I’m not finished yet.

When I was getting ready for bed, going through my normal routine… turn off the lights… drink a glass of water… yummy the cat… wash my face…WHAT? What is that? A strange shadow has appeared on both sides of my face… I’ve heard rumors of these, but… surely not… I never imagined that I actually had them…

Cheekbones, my friends. On my face.

Wow...yesterday's group run... lots of things...

2007-09-30T09:40:00.000-06:00

I did 6.4 miles.

I have trouble deciphering from my Garmin track this time, and because the idea of reporting my "distance covered" separately from my "running" is starting to give me anxiety over walking at all, I've decided to just lump it all together from now on. Hence, I ran/walked 6.4 miles. Another new PR for me!

I arrived at the start point a full 30 minutes ahead of schedule (blame this on my irrational fear of being late) and sat in my car listening to music for a while. The air was cold and dry, and I got to watch the sunrise. As I watched the sun come up and saw what a great day was ahead, I successfully calmed that terrible inner voice that so often plagues me (the one that says "An hour and 45 minutes? Are you crazy?"). I took my very first ever GU (tri-berry w/ caffeine, and the consistency is very similar to Hershey's Caramel Syrup that you pour on ice cream) which I very quickly chased with water, and I was ready to go.

We headed off on the Cheery Creek (a.k.a. Concrete Torture) Trail, walking at first, then speeding up (slightly) to a nice run. The course yesterday was entirely through city streets, so there was a lot of waiting at stop lights, etc. It interrupted my running hypnosis, and I found it hard to stay in a nice rhythm. On and on we went, though, past the Cherry Creek Mall and the Denver Country Club, all the way down to Washington Park. If I hadn't gotten lost at one point, this would have been 3 miles.

As I arrived at the park, I was happy to see that I'd reached the water station. On all my previous group runs, my slow pace has kept me from reaching the water station in the allotted time. So, I felt like I'd gained a small victory. Woohoo! I walked a minute, took another GU (Strawberry Banana w/o Caffeine) and washed it down with some water, and I was on my way back.

I think the GU really helps, people. I was in pretty serious need of a little boost, and about a quarter of a mile into the trip back, I found the extra energy I was needing. It kept me going for another mile and a half or so. As I approached the finish, I was spent, though. I had to run/walk the last mile.

Initially, I was slightly disappointed that I wasn't able to run the full 6, but all in all, it was a decent group run for me. No aches and pains to speak of, just general fatigue at the end that kept me from realizing the full 6. A day later, I'm pleased with how it went, actually.

Afterwards, I got sick. I've narrowed down the reasons to one of the following:

I didn't sleep enough the night before,
I pushed myself too hard,
GU does not agree with me, or
In my haste to be modest, I got too hot because I put on my sweatshirt immediately after finishing and then went into a small hot room to have breakfast with the team.

I am not blaming the GU at this point, because I'd like to try it again, and I wasn't in severe pain, which makes me think that I didn't push myself too hard. I probably didn't sleep enough before this run, and I probably should have sucked it up and let my bare arms show for a few minutes to properly cool down.

At the Team Hero breakfast following the run, we heard from Dr. B. (Dr. B is the man on my team who, if you remember, raised $8000 in the week after the kickoff meeting.) I assumed he was going to talk about fundraising, for obvious reasons, but instead he told a story of a family that he knew.

The 2-year old daughter had been sick for a while, and doctors had been unable to determine what was wrong with her. She kept getting worse; her eyes were swollen shut and her body weight had doubled due to all of the fluids she was retaining. So her family took her to see a pediatric specialist in Seattle. The doctors in Seattle didn't have any immediate answers either, so they brought their daughter back to Denver. Six hours after arriving home from the airport, the doctors in Seattle called and said that the girl had Leukemia, and her only chance would be to take part in a research study with a new drug that didn't even have a name yet. They said she may not make it through the night, and they needed to get her back to Seattle as soon as possible.

Of course, they caught the next flight back to Seattle and got their daughter started on this new unnamed drug. 100 hospital days later, she was cancer free. She had trouble for a few years (she had to be home-schooled for the first 2 years of school and her family had to be very careful not to introduce germs around her), but she's now a thriving 12-year old.

The research that developed the drug that saved this girl's life was funded by the LLS. The little girl was Dr. B's.

Seeing that grown man cry tears of gratitude made me feel proud of what I am doing. I'm lucky to be whole and able to run at all, and I'm proud to be using my strength to support an organization that helps people in the way that it helped Dr. B.

Laughter is the best medicine...

2007-09-28T22:46:00.000-06:00

Well, it's the night before the scary group run, and I'm up late again. I'm more nervous than I probably should be, and when I'm nervous, I tend to either get really quiet and reserved or else I laugh. So, this time, I'm choosing to laugh. And I'm bringing you with me.

I post the following video of myself while sledding in the Blizzard of '06 because it has provided endless hours of entertainment for my dear friend NewMama. I think she's even considering entering it in America's Funniest Home Videos. I agree it's pretty funny, especially if you can hear the audio that goes along with it. At the time, I thought I'd completely broken my little neck, though. :(

OK. Now that I'm smiling, group runs don't seem nearly as intimidating. Best of luck to all of you out there going out on group runs tomorrow!

No anxiousness here...

2007-09-27T21:17:00.000-06:00

There were many reasons why today's run was going to be bad. I ate chocolate and drank a pop this morning before noon, for instance. (What was I thinking?) But, instead of beating myself up for all the bad decisions I made today, I'm just going to blame today's disaster of a 60 minute run on the fact that after yesterday's run, anything would have seemed bad.

I was too hot, my legs were tired (not hurting, but just tired), I was in a rush to get back to work for my 6PM meeting (I know, doesn't that seem silly for an engineer to return to work for a meeting at 6PM?), I couldn't get into a groove, I ran the first mile too fast... take your pick. I have a list of excuses a fast mile long.

The truth is, it's hard to run 5 days a week, dude! By the time Thursday rolls around, I've just run Tuesday and Wednesday... and I'm kindof pooped! The rest of my excuses are pretty lame.

So, now I have a rest day, and then it's on to the (*duh duh duhhhhhh....*) super scary 1:45 run. My insecurities flare. My legs tremble in fear. My brain tries to convince me that it's impossible. But I will not be convinced. Instead, I will address my problems as all good engineers do: as a list of problems to be solved.

1.) Hydration--> I need to figure out some way to hydrate along the way. I have bought two GU packets (Tri-berry and Strawberry Banana, any recommendations?), but I'm supposed to follow those with water. I need a way to carry water and GU. Ideas? This brings me to my other "carrying" issue...

2.) iPod--> Currently, I have been carrying my iPod in my hand. I don't own one of those nifty arm iPod carrier things. I have looked, but all the ones that I find anymore are for the teeny little nanos or the ginormous iPod Video. I am considering buying a generic one (a much cheaper option) at sports authority. It won't be a perfect fit, but who cares, right?

3.) Walking--> This is a big one. So far, when I run on my own, I walk 7 minutes, then I start timing my run from there. If I'm supposed to run 30, for instance, by the time I get back my Garmin says 37. On the group runs, because it's with a group, they want us to include all walking in our total (in fact, we're not even supposed to stop our watches to go to the bathroom or stretch!). This way, we all get to the finish point at the same time. Here's my problem: I don't like including the walking. I feel like I'm cheating if I insert a little walking into my running and then just let that count toward my overall time.

3a.) Walking, continued--> I feel like I've failed if I take a break from running and walk a bit. I know I didn't on my first group run. But I did last weekend during the group run, and I normally feel that way when I do my solo runs. This is a big problem heading into this weekend's run because I feel fairly certain that I won't be able to keep up a run, even a slow run, for an hour and 45 minutes.

4.) Paranoia --> I am allowing myself to become way way way too worried about this particular run. I am setting myself up for a hugely bad day. Obviously. Someone stop me now.

That pretty much covers it. Now that you're all aware of just exactly how insane a state of panic I'm living in these days...

On a side note, I met a cat today at the Talking Book who weighed 34lbs! And it wasn't like this was a huge cat (i.e. not a tall/long/big footed/otherwise abnormal), he was just really really fat. SoxFan's dogbeast Ini weighs in at 39lbs, and he's a fully grown border collie! That poor cat looked like a basketball with legs. When he laid on his side, his little legs just stuck straight out. Poor thing. But he sure was cute.

Oh, the places you'll go!

2007-09-27T09:22:00.000-06:00

As it turns out, I can bust through that slow ceiling! (even if only just a little bit.) Last night, I ran 3 miles in 42 minutes. That’s a pace much closer to 14 min/mile than 15 min/mile (the cutoff pace for the R’N’R AZ ½ Marathon). I tried to purposefully take it slow on the first mile, then I tried to speed up. As it turns out, my splits were like this:

Mile 1---> 14:09
Mile 2---> 14:09
Mile 3---> 14:10
.18 miles at the end---> Doesn’t count because I slowed down on purpose…

Consistent? Uh, YEAH! Slow? Sure! Fast enough to complete the ½ marathon without being swept from the course? Definitely.

Usually when I start running, I’m afraid of going too fast. I feel like if I get started too fast, then I won’t be able to go as far as I’m supposed to. And it’s definitely a tricky thing, finding the balance between speed and distance.

But last night….
Last night…

I have never felt better during a run. My pace was still comfortable, my stride was perfect, the weather was glorious, the route I chose was the perfect length and difficulty… It could not have been better. Runs like this seem to come along just often enough for me to keep trying.

Afterwards, I was talking to SoxFan, and I mentioned how great the whole thing was. I also mentioned to him that “the first 1.25 miles are always the hardest…” and he stopped me. He repeated the words I’d just said out loud, without even thinking about what was coming out of my mouth. “The first 1.25 miles are always the hardest…”

I remember, two months ago, sitting at my desk at work and wondering if I should enter a 1 mile fun run. I was torn over whether or not I should enter: If I was able to run the whole way, it would be a huge confidence boost… if not, it would kill the confidence that I did have. Now, a mile is less than it takes me to warm up. And I don’t even remember how it was that I got here.

Maybe that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I have to believe that you other runners out there know what I’m talking about. It’s the reason I started running: I wanted to do something that felt impossible. At first, a mile seemed like an impossible distance. At first, it was an impossible distance. Now, I run more than a mile on a regular basis, and I do so rather comfortably. I’m now routinely do something that, just a few months ago, was impossible for me. It feels amazing. And it gives me the energy I need to keep trying hard and keep pushing myself… I want to see what other impossibilities I can overcome.

This one is worth checking out...

2007-09-26T12:26:00.000-06:00

OK. I know I just made a long post today already. But during my lunch hour, I catch up on my blog reading. It's a nice little break, you know... i just sort of follow one link then another... and another... no real direction...

Anyway, today, I ran across this post by GeekGirl... it's great. Maybe it doesn't speak to everyone, but for those of us who struggle with doubt... it's great.

Smite thee, Under Armor!

2007-09-26T11:45:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, it dawned on me: It’s about to be October, and I still have 3 months of training before race day. And then it dawned on me: I live in Colorado. Suddenly my adidas shorts and plain white t-shirt didn’t look like acceptable running gear anymore.

Don’t get me wrong. Even with all the talk of “cotton is rotten” on the trails, I’ve been pretty happy with my kit thus far. Sure I sweat. Sure my sweat drips from my face and onto the collar of said t-shirt. Sure it stays wet the entire rest of the time I’m running. It’s been HOT out there most of the time, and it hasn’t seemed to bother me.

But, as the days get shorter and the air gets cooler, and as I find myself shivering while running, I have to admit… it might be time for a little Under Armor. And my bank account shrieks: “No, no! Anything but that!” And the passers-by watching me shuffle along in all my Under Armor glory shriek: “No, no! Anything but that!”

::Coincidentally, and this is absolutely no joke… I have my iPod on shuffle right now, and the song “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story just came on… how ironic, considering I don’t think the words “figure flattering” exist at the Under Armor company!---but, the word WARM certainly does::

OK… Topic shift coming up…

Last night’s run was pretty good. I ran 2.67 miles with SoxFan and his Ini. After we returned, I plugged in my Garmin, and for the first time ever, I was a little bummed at how slow I am. I don’t feel like I’m running very very slowly. I feel comfortable! I have a short stride, admittedly, but I have a pretty quick turnover. But my splits are just terrible.

Then, I started thinking about it, and I am slow all the time! I mean, just walking around downtown with friends, everyone is always walking faster than me. I’m not walking in slow motion… I’m not meandering or strolling or dragging my feet… I’m just walking! And I’m slow! I don’t know the real reason behind this. I don’t know why I feel like there is a speed ceiling for me that I can’t seem to break through. I’m blaming it on my ridiculously short legs.

SoxFan says that he thinks I can run faster, because at the end of 2.67 miles last night, I felt great… hardly winded, and I could have kept going… he says that’s a sign that I’m not pushing hard enough. (I hate it when he’s right.) So, I’m going to try to push a bit more… running hasn’t been hurting lately, and apparently, it’s supposed to.

During tonight’s 45 minute run, my goal is to make it for a full 5K. Not very long ago, I had trouble running 5K. Now it’s a nice training distance. I’m planning on running the Komen Race for the Cure 5K in Denver coming up soon, and for the first time ever, I’m fairly certain I can run the whole 5K distance. Not only that, I’m have a time goal! Sigh… Wonders never cease…

How quickly I forget...

2007-09-23T22:12:00.000-06:00

Tonight, during my run, I finished "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. I found it alright. I kept waiting for it to pick up, but I never felt very connected to the narrator. And in this type of the story, that seems to be the most important thing, really. Either way, I'm finished. If you'd like a more complete review, let me know. Next up is "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer.

The run tonight was alright. Slow and easy, but ok. I'm still having some pain in my right calf muscle, but it seems to go away after the first mile or so and it only returns 15 or so minutes after I'm done. I'm secretly worried about my ankle, as well, which I fear may have suffered a stress fracture. Wow. Saying that out loud makes it seem much more likely that its true. I take it back, I take it back!

As for the important stuff... Yesterday during our group run, ConiferGal, the girl I met at my first TNT Info session... the girl who was impressed that I could run a 5K.... the girl whose talk made it seem like we were starting out on the same level... she ran 6 miles.

Why does this make me feel inadequate? Just about a week ago, I was feeling great about my new philosophy of ignoring everyone around me. Now, I'm back to my old ways. I am disappointed in myself for not keeping up with someone else... I am disappointed in myself for being disappointed in myself. I feel bad about my brand new shiny PR just because someone else's PR was a bit more of an R than mine. Why do I sabotage my success by introducing competition into the mix? It is completely unnecessary.

OK. Enough of that.

This week the weeknight runs start to ramp up a bit: 40 minutes on Tues, 45 on Wed, and 60 on Thurs... then... an hour and 45 minutes on Saturday (cue the "scary music"). I don't know why, because it seems completely arbitrary, but ever since I saw it on the schedule, the 1:45 run has been my "scary distance". I guess I should cover about 7 miles in that amount of time, but it's a really huge psychological hurdle for me. Then again, all of my group runs so far have been big psychological hurdles, and yet I have managed, for the first 2 weeks at least, to overcome them. Maybe the next group run will be the same?

Also on the agenda this week: I have GOT to get some more fundraising done.

Hooray for new PR's!

2007-09-22T10:43:00.001-06:00

Well, as promised, I did the run. Perhaps not with as much grace and ease as I had promised, but I did it nonetheless. Actually, it was a new record for me, with my total distance being 4.87 miles and my total running distance being 4.11 miles!

Now for the details:

I walked the 1st 7 minutes because that's just what I do... Then I stretched and then I was on my way. I ran more than a 5K before stopping to walk a bit. I caught up to a really nice woman called CJ, and we chatted for about 4 minutes about fundraising. I thought, at that point, that I could run it in the rest of the way. But, I was wrong. After one more teensy short walk break, however, I made it back to the starting point.

I am proud of myself because this is the longest distance I've ever run. But at the same time, I'm disappointed in myself a little bit just now. I mean, did stopping to walk for 4 minutes really make that much of a difference? I can't remember. I would not have covered any additional distance overall, but I would have had more distance running rather than walking. (And we're all clear here that I use the term running rather loosely.) It may not look a lot different to you, but it is very different to me.

The Highline Canal, where we ran today, is a really great spot for running. It's a gravel-ish trail along a canal (go figure), that winds through residential areas and has great shade cover. It's very similar to the Boulder Creek Path, except gravel, rather than concrete (my knees say: 'thank goodness!'). Looking at the schedule, it seems like we do several runs at this location, so hopefully before too long, I will begin to recognize landmarks the way I do on my weeknight runs... that really helps keep me going sometimes.

Now for the bad news: I am hurting. I have not been stretching enough, and my right calf muscle (the soleus, I believe), which has been bothering me since June, is still bothering me and appears to be getting worse. On my way home, I went out and bought The Stick (not to be confused with the Foam Roller, which is a torture device that physical therapists love to recommend). If you haven't met The Stick yet and you are a runner,... let me introduce you. Stick, this is a runner. Runner, this is your new best friend. Seriously. It's like a really cheap massage.

OK. Enough rambling now. I'm off to shower and get on with the rest of my day. I'll write more later. I have some thoughts about today's run that I haven't shared yet.

Commandment #1

2007-09-21T20:06:00.000-06:00

1.) Thou shalt not eat a big meal (i.e. a dozen peel'n'eat shrimp w/ cocktail sauce) before you go for a run, even a short one.

But.... on the good side....

I made up the run that I promised that I would make up! Yay! I am back on schedule!

Tonight's run was only ok. I ran slowly, and I had to stop and walk for about 2 minutes right in the middle. I don't know what went wrong really, so I'm just going to blame this one on the "bad running day" goblins. Who knows, right? It seems like some days are great and others are not as great... with no correlation to anything I can figure out (with the exception of the aforementioned binge shrimp eating spell before I left the house).

Please notice, however, that it is only 8:11PM, and I have returned from my completed run... I am well on my way to going to bed at a reasonable hour in order to wake early and refreshed for my second long group run. That's progress.

In other good news, I got a few donations of items for our upcoming Halloween Costume Party fundraiser. It looks like I'll need to go back tomorrow and hit a few places again, but today was a decent start.

In still more good news, I got a hair color and cut done today, and I do love it! Whew. A trip to the salon causes me WAYYY more stress than it ought to.

Days like this only come along now and then, I guess, but they rarely get by me without being noticed. I am very glad that I'm one of those people who takes notice of how good things are when they're good. I have a great family and great friends. I am healthy and I have a job that pays well and gives me a chance to prove myself. I am strong enough to go out and run (almost) every day....I have so many reasons to be happy. I know, I know, I'm naive and overly optimistic and completely corny... and that's all fine with me.

Yay! What a good day. I'm going to have some watermelon and drink about 10 glasses of water, then I'm off to bed, folks. I'll write again tomorrow, with all the juicy details of the ease and grace with which I will have just run 5 miles. Yeahhhhh... Wish me luck! :)

Too many people, too close to home...

2007-09-20T23:19:00.000-06:00

Alas, another glorious day for running in beautiful Colorado. Did I take advantage of the fabulous fall weather and fantastic sunset? Of course not. I started my run at 10PM! But, with the debacle that last night's non-run turned out to be, I was not to be deterred. Scary beasts of the night beware, I come armed with pepper spray!

Tonight's run was 45 minutes. I was a little worried at times, but I ended up running the whole way. That brings my weekly total so far up to 8.5 miles. Tomorrow night, as promised, I will make up another 2.5 miles, then Saturday's run is supposed to be an hour and 15 minutes (yikes, that sounds like a long way).

Shifting gears rather abruptly...

I have a brother, who I'll call MexiBoy. He's younger than me, and while he's married and has a stepson, I think I will always consider him my baby brother. Especially in times like this one. Last week, my brother's best friend was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He is 22. He works on a farm and has no health insurance, and is about to begin an 8 week round of chemotherapy. My brother is having a hard time with all of this: he wants to help but feels helpless, as most people do in this situation. But he's begun to organize some fundraising events near our very small hometown, and he's vowed to let his friend shave his (Mexiboy's) head once his friend starts losing his hair. I am very proud of my baby brother for being brave in the face of his friend's cancer, and for doing the things that he can do to help him overcome it. If you live in West TN, please get in touch with my parents or my brother for details on the BBQ on October 20th!

And while my brother's friend's cancer is testicular cancer and not a blood cancer, I am reminded that daily people all over the place get the same news: "you have cancer". No matter how many miles I run or don't run, or how fast or how slow, or how good or bad it makes me feel... the whole point of what I'm doing is to help make these words obsolete.

I am in trouble now...

2007-09-20T09:38:00.000-06:00

I hang my head in shame and defeat. I skipped my 30 minute run last night. Please, let the beatings begin. I deserve them.

I'll give you my explanation, however. It was a gorgeous day out, so it would have been a perfect opportunity for me to get my run in before the sun actually went down. Normally I wait until 7:00 or so to run, and lately, it's been starting to get dark at that point. But yesterday would have been a perfect opportunity to enjoy the sunshine and the nice fall air... instead, i was starving. I had had a small lunch, so by the time i got home (~6:15ish) i was really hungry. And as I leaned into the refrigerator to grab a string cheese stick, I noticed hamburger meat... and pasta sauce.... and the thought occurred to me: "mmmmm, spaghetti sure does sound tasty..."

So, instead of being responsible and having a small snack to get me over my hunger hump long enough to complete my run that was going to be glorious and fantastic, I stayed home and ate pasta.

Afterwards, here is my thought process: "hmm, that was yummy, I think I'll watch a little TV.... it is starting to get dark.... my stomach is all full of pasta.... it's really dark in the neighborhood where i typically do my 30 minute runs.... man, my stomach is sort of hurting, I didn't eat that much, did I?...."

And, just like that, I'd talked myself out of doing my run last night. I thought: "I'll just get up before work and do it... then I can carry on with my regularly scheduled run tomorrow night, and no one will ever know!".... But, as you could have guessed... I did not get up and run this morning before work... And so now I am officially behind on my schedule and I feel terrible. I am so disappointed with myself for not even making it 2 full weeks before falling off the schedule bandwagon. (I wonder if I could try to remember how terrible I feel now the next time that I want to sit on the sofa and watch TV?)

BUT---I promise that I will make it up. I won't be able to do it today, because I'm already scheduled to run 45 minutes this evening. But Friday night... me and the famed missed 30 minute run. I promise.

Will I always feel like a fraud?

2007-09-18T22:17:00.000-06:00

A strange little thing happened yesterday at my office. I was having sort of a tough day, getting overwhelmed with responsibility and frustration.... all of this stress and frustration had been building all day... and I actually thought to myself, "It's a rest day today, but I want to run." Without a doubt, this is the first time that I have ever found myself craving physical activity as an outlet. I must be making progress now, no?

In the end, I did not go for a run. Instead, I went to see Damien Rice with some friends at the Fillmore. The show was AMAZING, and good times were had by all.

Tonight's training run was pretty good. I ran faster (i.e. farther in 30 minutes) than I had done previously, so that felt good... well, not so much at the time, but it sure feels great now that I'm sitting on my comfy sofa watching Family Guy. At the time, I was huffing and puffing pretty good. But, I was trying to run a bit faster tonight, so it was a mission accomplished. As I have probably mentioned, the smallest things tend to trip me up: location, weather, pace, music, etc.... So, in an effort to face these little hang-ups, I will run tomorrow's 30 minutes as I normally do and Thursday's 45 minutes in a new and exciting location. ... baby steps....

When I first moved to Colorado, I remember talking to my dad (who lives, tragically, very far away) on the phone. We were talking about skiing, and I mentioned how I was getting better on skis, and he said "So you're becoming a skier, rather than just a person who skis?" So lately, I've been thinking quite a bit about what makes a "runner", as opposed to just a "person who runs". I've been thinking about this because as I do my fundraising, I am faced with having to wear the "runner" label. I tell prospective donors: "I am training for a half-marathon"... and then I have to prepare myself for the blank stare (that is probably a little generous... more likely it is a look of disbelief and shock) that inevitably comes back. I almost feel like I have to apologize for what I'm doing (the training, not the fundraising).

So, I ask you: What qualifies a person as a "runner"? Do you have to have a certain number of miles under your belt? A certain number of months/years running? A certain 10K time? Do you have to have a specific physique? I have heard a wide variety of ideas, from "you can call yourself a runner when you run a sub-4hour marathon" to "you can call yourself a runner if you run, even just slowly and occasionally". ...SO...What are the official prerequisites to get you into this exclusive club? I am open to all ideas at this point....

First group run report

2007-09-17T00:02:00.001-06:00

The time was 6:37AM; the place, Washington Park in Denver, Colorado. It was sunny but chilly and beautiful outside, and there were a lot of cars in the parking lot. As I pulled up, my nervousness began to grow exponentially, but I took it as a good omen when I laughed at the bumper sticker on the car parked in front of me: "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup." The resulting giggle helped me calm down and get out of the car... Step one, complete.

We all stood stretching in a circle. I felt intimidated because everyone else there appeared to be more fit than I. Then I saw ConiferGal, from the TNT info meeting. That helped me feel better because talking to her at the info meeting, it sounded like we were both starting out at the same place (ie not knowing how far we could actually go...). After a few minutes of stretching and giving out a few awards to some amazing fundraisers (one guy has raised $8000 since the kick-off meeting last week!), we were on our way. I intentionally let everyone head out ahead of me. I stuck in my earbuds, as well, to block out as much of everything as possible.

I decided to walk to the stretch point, about 10 minutes out, because that most closely replicates what I do at home. I figured I had enough newly introduced variables.... So, I walked for about 10, then I jogged the rest. I had one 2 minute walk break thrown in near the end as well.

I felt like I was going at a snail's pace, but as it turns out, my 5K time from yesterday was my quickest yet! YAY for PR's! And I smiled when I finished. I even told a joke or two to my teammates.

Afterwards, I felt great. I was tired, but not completely wiped out. I was able to head out to the dog park with the crazy beast Ini and his human SoxFan, then back to WashPark for some Ultimate Frisbee spectating, then off to Boulder to celebrate with KevBones who just finished his Master's Defense (Congratulations KevBones!). I was a little worried about the run today (30 minutes again on my own), but it turned out to be GREAT, even though my Garmin died right before I started running so I have no idea about my pace... It was a great run anyway.

I really wanted to run a full 60 minutes on Saturday, and I did not. I still count the group run as a huge success, though. All the fears that I wrote about on Friday night, I conquered on Saturday. I felt a slight twinge of jealousy/competitiveness as I saw ConiferGal's back getting farther and farther away from me, but I reminded myself that I needn't compare myself to anyone else in gauging my success or failure. From that point forward, I successfully blocked out everyone and everything else. I kept my focus on what I was doing, my pace, my distance, my breathing, my form.... And it worked. I very well may have been the last person to finish on Saturday, but I truly did not care.

And even though I walked to the stretch point, and even though I took a small walk break right before the end of the run, I do not feel like I let myself down. I walked those distances because I felt a need to, and I knew that I was making the best decision for myself. Just like picking out a good running shoe, all that really matters is what works for you.

left, right, left, right. repeat.

2007-09-14T23:33:00.000-06:00

So, it's the night before my very first group run, and I am up WAY too late. My plan was to go with some friends to the Rockies game but still return home at a reasonable hour to get sufficient nutrition and sleep. I'm beginning to understand, however, that doing things on Friday nights may be out for me altogether for a while. I am supposed to be at Washington Park in about 7 hours. Yikes!

Aside from the fear of not sleeping enough tonight, and the fear of that vanilla dipped cone I just had to have at the game tonight making an encore appearance during the run tomorrow, I do have some very real fears that I feel like I could flesh out a bit here.

What is scary about running with other people? It's scary only because I know myself fairly well. I know that when I get there tomorrow morning, I will immediately begin comparing myself to the other runners/walkers. I will feel inadequate and nervous and bad. I know this because it's what I do in almost every situation. I struggle with the urge to keep up, to compete, and to compare... on a daily basis. That is one thing that I hope to learn during this whole process: to be alright with myself, just as I am, without comparison to anyone else.

Talking to my very awesome friend, NewMama, (who lives, tragically, very far away) a few nights ago, she reminded me that even if I walk a while during my "runs", I'm still out there doing something great! If my goal is to run 60 minutes (as is my goal tomorrow), and I only end up running 49 and walking 11, I've still done a whole lot better than 60 whole minutes sitting on the couch watching re-runs of America's Next Top Model (because, let's face it, that's the only thing on TV on the weekends... at least on my meager channel lineup).

She's completely right. This whole experience is about me pushing myself. It isn't about being fast or slow or how I finish in my age group. For me, it's about the journey to the finish, which sometimes runs tangent to other people. But my success is not at all defined by how my journey stacks up against anyone else's; rather it is defined by honestly answering this question: "Self, did you push as hard as you could have?"

With that, I put my fears (and my head) to bed.

Confidence and Mental Toughness

2007-09-12T21:35:00.000-06:00

Thirty minute training runs 2 & 3? Done and done. I think it may be too soon to declare that I own the 2 mile run, but it is probably sufficient to say that, on a regular basis, I rock the 2 mile run. (Is it safe to make such a bold statement after only running this distance maybe half a dozen times?) And before I leave this subject, can I just point out that, before the running began for me this summer, I had never once run 2 whole miles straight. Even in the sprint tri that I completed a few years ago, I ran/walked...

Training run #2 was yesterday, which I ran with SoxFan and his CRAZY dog Ini. I think I was a little bit sore because run#2 was more difficult than run #1. I had a few little aches and pains along the way, so all in all, it was slow, but alright. I got a later start than I wanted... by oh.... 14-15 hours, I guess.... I think some people just aren't geared to wake up and run before work. I do much better in the evenings anyway.

Training run #3 was tonight, which I ran alone. I ran a little faster tonight, which may have been why I felt like quitting toward the end. But, I did not quit. I had one moment where I had a shocking pain in my left knee (that's the bad knee, for future reference), but I kept on going and the pain seemed to subside. I am tough. Mentally and otherwise.

And you know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that mental toughness really just amounts to dealing with reality. For instance, try to think of actual pain, as opposed to imagined/anticipated pain. I have imagined/anticipated pain about going to the dentist. I tense up in the chair, I freak out, I sometimes run away and cry. But all of those reactions are reactions to things that I am worried will happen, rather than things that actually do happen. Also, if you have an idea of how far you should be able to run, your mind seems to trick you into thinking that after that point, you should start to not be able to continue. This is a really evil little trick that your brain plays on you, because if you can separate out the actual pain versus the imagined pain, you can probably keep pushing yourself a lot farther than you thought.

On that note, I have to give huge huge congrats to my friend CaliTri, who, on Sunday, personified mental toughness by completing her first ever Ironman in Wisconsin. I am so proud of her! Not only did she overcome all the obstacles of completing the Ironman (getting kicked in the head repeatedly during the swim, dealing with the subsequent headache during the bike, and banging out 26.2 long long miles to round it off), she also fought hard personal battles to get to that point, and she did it all with grace and humility. Congratulations, CaliTri! You're an IRONWOMAN!