Small towns are great for that

OK, Class. Please raise your hand if you clearly ate too many slices of carrot cake over the past week? Good. It's good to know I'm not alone. I hope everyone had a wondeful holiday! Only a couple more days until we're all done with 2007!

I have really enjoyed being at home. I've had lots of time with my parents, and I've gotten to see my brother and sister-in-law and my little nephew. I had originally thought about driving up to Nashville to visit NewMama and her family, but it doesn't look like that will work out this time around. I have eaten wayyyyy to much excellent, home-cooked food... carrot cake....potato salad.... chewy cookies.... pecan pralines.... just too much in general. Everyone was happy with the gifts I brought home for them, and I'm super excited about the gifts I received, as well. It's been a good holiday.

And then last night, it happened.

I was going to go with my parents to see a movie, and we were waiting in line for popcorn ('cause I was so hungry!), and I turned around to see my ex-fiancee with his new wife. Since I live so far from home, this is the first time I've seen him since we split up. Perhaps a bit of back-story is necessary here.

We started dating just as I started high school. I am now 29. We broke up less than 2 years ago. You do the math. No, I'LL do the math---we dated for 13 years. We were engaged for almost 2 years. Then, it became obvious that we wanted different things (he wanted to be close to his family; I wanted to be close to my family too, but I also wanted him to not be a dictator), and we split up. A couple of months later, I heard through the grapevine (which is quite extensive when you come from a small town) that he was "an item" with this girl. Not coincidentally, this was a girl that we both knew growing up and whom he had mentioned to me a couple of times near the end of our relationship when things were particularly rocky. Mama didn't raise no fool.

Then, one day this year, my mom called to tell me that they'd been married. This was slightly more than a year after our 13-year relationship had ended.

I wish I could say that I handled the situation with grace and wisdom, like Little Miss Runner Pants would have. I can say that I have no regrets. It was absolutely the right decision to break up. But it was still immensely painful to have to sit two rows behind him, with his arm around his new wife.... occasionally turning to kiss her during the movie as if to rub my nose in it... it was immensely painful that I evidently meant so little to him while he meant so much to me. It was a harsh reminder of how easily I was cast aside and replaced by a better, more close-to-home model.

After 13 years of someone being in your life every day, you would hope that you could remain friends. And maybe one of these days (give it another 10 years) we can be friends. But this time, we didn't speak, we didn't even look each other in the eye. But I did manage to not flee from the theater, and I did manage to not cry until after the movie was over and I was safely back in my parents car. And I was able to honestly say that I didn't want to trade places with her, no matter how worthless and cast-aside I felt. I consider that a pretty huge victory.