Tonight, during my run, I finished "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. I found it alright. I kept waiting for it to pick up, but I never felt very connected to the narrator. And in this type of the story, that seems to be the most important thing, really. Either way, I'm finished. If you'd like a more complete review, let me know. Next up is "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer.
The run tonight was alright. Slow and easy, but ok. I'm still having some pain in my right calf muscle, but it seems to go away after the first mile or so and it only returns 15 or so minutes after I'm done. I'm secretly worried about my ankle, as well, which I fear may have suffered a stress fracture. Wow. Saying that out loud makes it seem much more likely that its true. I take it back, I take it back!
As for the important stuff... Yesterday during our group run, ConiferGal, the girl I met at my first TNT Info session... the girl who was impressed that I could run a 5K.... the girl whose talk made it seem like we were starting out on the same level... she ran 6 miles.
Why does this make me feel inadequate? Just about a week ago, I was feeling great about my new philosophy of ignoring everyone around me. Now, I'm back to my old ways. I am disappointed in myself for not keeping up with someone else... I am disappointed in myself for being disappointed in myself. I feel bad about my brand new shiny PR just because someone else's PR was a bit more of an R than mine. Why do I sabotage my success by introducing competition into the mix? It is completely unnecessary.
OK. Enough of that.
This week the weeknight runs start to ramp up a bit: 40 minutes on Tues, 45 on Wed, and 60 on Thurs... then... an hour and 45 minutes on Saturday (cue the "scary music"). I don't know why, because it seems completely arbitrary, but ever since I saw it on the schedule, the 1:45 run has been my "scary distance". I guess I should cover about 7 miles in that amount of time, but it's a really huge psychological hurdle for me. Then again, all of my group runs so far have been big psychological hurdles, and yet I have managed, for the first 2 weeks at least, to overcome them. Maybe the next group run will be the same?
Also on the agenda this week: I have GOT to get some more fundraising done.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
How quickly I forget...
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4 comments:
It is so hard not to compare yourself to others, I struggle with it as well. But I just tell myself that this isn't about them, it is about me and something I want to do.
2 weeks ago I wouldn't have thought I could run 6 miles.
You are so not alone!!! We all do it…even when we say we don’t…and even when we try not to – it is super hard to get to the point of not comparing. But you know what? Eventually, you get there. It has taken me some time – but I am doing much better at it myself.
YOU are the only runner that matters to YOU. It should be called the Selfish Approach to Running, LOL! :)
Keep it up…you are doing great!
Oh yeah...and ever thought of heading down to AZ for some races? We have GREAT weather this fall/winter and some GREAT, slow runners! (wink, wink ;P)
You should consider it....
Well, as luck would have it, Pokey, I'm planning on the RNR Arizona Half Marathon in January! :) Maybe I'll see you there! I'll be near the back of the pack, though...
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