Saturday wrap up

Well, I did it. I ran 7 miles on Saturday with the group, just like I'd intended.

And the foot held up pretty well for the first 2 miles or so.

When I started the run, I felt pretty good. A very slight twinge of pain now and then, but otherwise I felt pretty healthy. I intentionally tried to hold back on the speed, which led to abysmal splits, but I thought it might be better for the injured foot to run slowly. But, right before the first water station, I was having consistent pain with every footfall. In all reality, I probably should have turned back as soon as it started hurting. But I've skipped so many weeknight runs in the last couple of weeks, I just couldn't bear to turn around. Finishing those 7 miles, however slowly, was an indication that I may still have a shot at running in Denver in 5 weeks.

Provided that the foot holds up, of course.

I am still waiting on the results from the bone scan that I had done last Thursday.

All in all, I had an average pace of 14:27 for Saturday's really hilly group run. The weather was perfect, but the course was tough, and I did end up walking 0.4miles in there along the way. You can get all the details here. It's starting to feel like fall in Colorado. I always love this time of year.

Miah keeps reminding me that I need to carefully weigh my options right now. Maybe I can keep running, through the pain, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I should. He says that if I keep going, I need to realize that I may be sacrificing other things down the road. Not only might I not be able to run in Memphis, but I also might sacrifice the upcoming ski season. These are good points, I realize, but I have been trying to ignore them up until this point.

That's it for now, as I have a date with my dentist. There will be drilling involved. Ugh. What a way to start a Monday!

Magic pants!

Even though Alicia told me there'd be 150-200 people running with the group on Saturday, I could not have imagined the scene that unfolded on Saturday morning before 6AM. As I came down out of the mountains into Lakewood, there were loads of cars on the road. Strangely, they all seemed to be headed in the same direction I was. I turned into the parking lot in a steady stream of traffic. At 5:45AM. ALL of these people were running with the group.

Oh. Dear.

Luckily, I had run into the REI sale on Friday night, where I found two pairs of Nike running shorts and a new sports bra, all for a mere $40. And these were the super-cool track shorts that all the cool girls wear! The ones that were too small for me a couple of years ago. Needless to say, I had a little extra boost of confidence when I stepped out of the car on Saturday morning. But that wasn't all my new shorts had to offer... more on that in a bit.

I found the coach and introduced myself, then Alicia found me and we talked and stretched and then she introduced me to my pace group leader. Her name was Kari, and her friend was called Candy, and they were both really nice. The pace groups left one after the other, with ours being last. I was really nervous, naturally, but I joined in the group near the front. I figured if there was someone riding my heels, I might hang with the group a little longer.

It was chilly and my back and legs felt a little tight, and I was trying to get used to running without my iPod. But as we ran, I realized I was doing it: I was hanging with the group. We kept on running, and as we approached our first mile, I really felt like I was holding back to stay with the group. So, after the first mile, I just sort of left them behind.

Oh yes, you read that right. I left them behind.

Never in a million years would I have imagined it would go down this way. Now, there are a few facts I should bring up here... Many of these folks were going out for 16-22 miles on Saturday, whereas I was only doing 6 miles, so it's likely that they were intentionally holding back in the early miles to make sure they had enough gas in the tank to make it the full distance. Also, the pace group was running a little slower than the advertised pace (at least by my Garmin).

Anyway, here are my splits from Saturday:

Mile 1: 12:43
Mile 2: 12:24
Mile 3: 12:16
Mile 4: 12:30
Mile 5: 12:56
Mile 6: 12:29

I'd like to point out the lack of any 13's in that little segment.

This brings me back to my magic pants: I don't think I've ever done a 6 mile run without dipping into the 13's before. Therefore, the obvious explanation is that my brand new shorts make me run faster.

Because of this new revelation, and because Runner's Edge members got 20% off at Boulder Running Company after our group run, I bought 4 new pairs of really fast looking socks.

As I expected, the water/gatorade on the course made a huge difference for me. It was great to go out without anything to carry for a change (the coach even hangs onto everyone's car keys while we're out running!). They provided icy water and lemon/lime gatorade (which is quickly becoming my favorite during runs), potato chips and those gooey orange candy wedge things. Oh! And they had bagels and fruit and whatnot when we finished, too! It was fantastic. The course was laid out really well, with chalk marks on the road/sidewalk and bright yellow "turn here" signs that even I couldn't miss. Everyone seemed really friendly and supportive, and I really do believe that starting out with the group put me off on the right foot as far as pace went. If I'd been on my own, I probably would have started out at a slower pace, which would have made it more difficult to pick up the pace later. After talking it over with Miah, I've decided it's definitely worth the money spent to join this group... I have a lot to learn!

Hope everyone's long runs this weekend were as much fun as mine!

My, my, what flattering tights you're wearing!

What a monstrous disaster. I sincerely hope the Rockies' plan of getting the first loss out of the way quick and easy works out. Because tonight's display of baseball... well... you've all seen it... I won't go into it here. Let's just say there was plenty of weeping and gnashing of teeth going on, and at many points, I had to stoop to insulting the physical appearance of the Red Sox players simply in order to fight off the overwhelming sense of despair and hopelessness that overtook me as my team went down in 13-1 flames. (I am sure, despite appearances, that Manny Ramirez doesn't really drown puppies in his spare time. And Big Papi doesn't look that much like Shrek, does he?)

*sigh*... Setting the punch bowl of sour grapes aside....

Last night's run went off without a hitch. SoxFan and I did a comfortable 3.5 miles. Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately, for the purposes of this blog) there was nothing extraordinary to report. It was dark and cold, but the full moon was nice.

Tonight, however, was my first experience at the track. I have to admit, I was quite nervous about the idea of meeting up with people and running around in circles. Especially when we all got there and I saw that I would clearly be the one pulling up the rear again. Don't get me wrong, it's all fine and good to be pulling up the rear when you're running a long out-and-back run and no one can really tell that you're dead last. But when you're running in a circle...well, I just imagined that everyone would finish their lap and then stand around chitty-chatting while I dragged my slow butt in. (note: this is not how track workouts operate!)

So, we started off with a couple of hearty make-you-look-completely-ridiculous stride exercises, as if my running "tights" weren't already accomplishing that task.

*****And by the way, running "tights" are just another name for Spandex, friends. You can use whatever euphemism you like, but in the end, it's just good ol' Spandex, just like it was back in 82. And just like back then, I consider it a privilege, not a right, and therefore I choose to run in "tights" with shorts on over the top. Now who's ridiculous?*****

After the drills, we took off running fast/slow intervals. I thought I knew what I was getting into here. So, I took off! And it felt unbelievable to be running so fast! I was taking these holy-moly long strides moving gracefully and effortlessly, and I felt the breeze whipping past me at an alarming rate. I'd finally tapped into my inner Kenyan!

But after lasting a mere 200 meters at a lightning fast pace of 8:30ish (yes, you read that correctly, and no you're not in the wrong place) I CRASHED AND BURNED... My slow intervals became walking intervals, and my fast intervals returned to a more reasonable 11:30ish. Much better. We only did this three times (which ended up being about 2 miles), and while I was kindof tired at the end of each fast interval, I left the track feeling like I needed to go work out.

But, the game was on...so...you know...

Big Mistakes and the Denver Marathon

In a word: Soggy. That describes this weekend (as it relates to running, at least). Also: cold, wet, damp, freezing, numb and what-the-heck?

I'll start with yesterday's long run. As I was reaching for cereal for breakfast, I realized that it was already 6:35am and I was thereby late. So, I rushed out the door, not even bothering to dump the teeny gravel out of my shoes from my last run. I was heading to a new meet-up spot with the TEAM, so I was rushing while not knowing exactly where I was going, and I nearly caused an accident trying to make the turn into the correct parking lot. In my haste to not be late, I did not fill up my water bottle before leaving the house. (This shall be known as Big Mistake #1.)

It was about 50 degrees and misting rain when I got out of the car. I noticed that the typical TNT personnel weren't present, and that the coaches were in charge of setting up food/gatorade/water for the run. I kept looking around trying to find some water to fill up my bottle, but it wasn't readily available anywhere. We were about to leave, and I had only a couple of squirts of water left from last week, so I figured "oh well, I'll just not carry my water bottle this time... there'll be a table of water at the turnaround spot..." (This shall be known as Big Mistake #2.)

I'm running, running.... listening to my new audiobook (by the way, if you'd like a review of Into the Wild, by Jon Krakauer, let me know)...and I'm actually feeling pretty good. Aside from my t-shirt which is cotton and has by now absorbed about 3 gallons of mist from the air, I'm doing good.

About 4 miles in, I am starting to get pretty thirsty. I ask another TEAM member who's on her way back "How much further to water?" "I didn't see any water." OHHHH dear. My turnaround point ended up being a little bench on the side of the trail, where I pulled over to stretch my muscles. A lovely lady TEAM member saw me and asked if I needed anything, and she was kind enough to give me a couple of squirts from her water bottle to wash down my shot bloks. We walked for a few minutes together, and then she was on her way. (Thank you so much, kind lady!)

I ran as much as I could on the way back, but I was struggling. SoxFan's words kept ringing in my ears "It's the part at the end, when it really hurts and you want to quit, that makes you stronger!" Finally, I got back to the start point and saw that most people had already left. I was confused. My Garmin said that I'd only been gone 2:24. Where was everyone?

And then, it's as if the entire thing was in slow motion... I saw the cooler... the one that usually holds all the delicious gatorade and water bottles for after the run.... it was upside down in the parking lot... empty. NOooooo! By this point, I am basically coughing up sand I'm so thirsty. The coach thought everyone was in already, so he just gave a bunch of bottles of gatorade to this one woman. (This shall be known as Big Mistake #3, and I'm not even responsible for this one.) I actually stooped down and grabbed ice cubes from the top of the pathetic little pile and ate them... off a dirty parking lot. How thirsty was I?

Then I find out that it's actually 20 til 10... so it's understandable that they thought everyone was in... My garmin stops every time that I stop moving... so all my little stretch breaks added up. :( Sadface.

Afterwards, I had so many little errands I needed to do, I didn't properly stretch, so by the time I made it to Kev-bones' concert, I had a serious knee/ITband issue. (Obviously, Big Mistake #4.)

In good news, I finally did get something to drink (and eat! I was ravenous by the time I made it home). And, I covered about 9 miles and ran 6.9 miles! Yay! Another weekend, another new PR.

Today, I volunteered to work at the TNT water station for the Denver Marathon. Again, the weather was perfectly dismal, except that now the temp had dropped to a mere 40 degrees. It was amazing seeing the elite runners come through (they actually maintain that speed for 26 miles?), then the normal folks (they actually maintain that speed for 26 miles?), then the back-of-the-packers (they actually maintain those smiles for 26 miles?). It was cold, wet work, but I left with a warm feeling inside anyway. There were thousands of brave folks out there in the cold and rain, when they probably just wanted to quit. But they kept going, teaching me a thing or two:

1. If that woman, who probably weighs 300+ pounds, can keep going...so can you.
2. If that man, who is probably 80 years old, can keep going...so can you.
3. If that woman, who does not have legs and will run this entire race with the strength of her arms, can keep going...so can you.
4. It's good to be kind to the volunteers! So many people shouted "THANK YOU!"... it kept my cold, wet hands a little warmer.
5. It's hard to be at the back-of-the-pack. Try hard to ignore the people sweeping up cups as you pass by. They aren't trying to rush you or crush your spirit or make you feel bad... they are just trying to keep the cops happy.
6. The weather is only going to get worse in Denver, so I best figure out a way to suck it up.
   
7. Even when it hurts, you've got to keep your smile... it's where your strength comes from.

Hope everyone had fun, safe runs this weekend!

It was worth the purple mylar eyelashes!

I suppose it's a good thing that I do a written weblog, rather than a video weblog, because I can hardly talk today after all the SCREAMING I did last night as the Rockies swept the Phillies in the NLDS! I was finally able to answer in the affirmative when SoxFan asked me "Is this anything like an Auburn game?" Yes, just add twice as many screaming fans, and you're there! It was, hands down, the most exciting MLB game I've ever been to, be it Rockies/Cardinals/Sox/Marlins/etc. And, for your viewing pleasure, here is a shot of my very favorite Rockie: Matty. *swoon*

There was a sentimental moment during the pre-game hysteria when Mike Coolbaugh's sons (5 and 4) threw out the ceremonial first pitch. Mike Coolbaugh was a former big-league player who had recently been hired as a coach for one of the Rockies farm teams. He was killed in July by a line drive foul ball down the first base line. Mike's wife is still pregnant with their third child. The Rockies players recently voted to give Mike's family a full-playoff share. Heart, people. It's difficult to come by, especially in professional sports.

OK. Back to running... sorry for the detour.

Yesterday's group run was good. It was chilly and very windy, yet there were 50 or so TNT team members out for the run. And it was an especially fantastic day because I finally won one of the little prizes that they always give out: the one for being present at all of the group training runs so far. Yay me!

The plan for yesterday was to run 2 hours, out and back. I figured this would be about 8 miles for me. So, in my customary way, I walked the first 7 minutes, then I began running. And, in my customary way, I was hating it for the first 1.25-1.5 miles. After a while though, I settled into my slow pace. On the way out, I figured out that I can't run with my latest audio book selection ("Giving", by Bill Clinton); I am sure it's a wonderful read, it is just a bit too dry for running purposes. I'm going with a thriller next. Oh! And I figured out that I can listen to music and run. I just have to focus on running, rather than on the music.

By the time I'd run 52 minutes (3.5 miles), I was spent. I knew I should keep going the extra 8 minutes, but I could see the shade on the trail disappearing, and I couldn't bear the thought of 8 more minutes of running staring into the sun. I was finished. So, I turned back and began walking so that I could re-fuel.

My fuel selection for yesterday were Orange Shot Bloks by Clif. They were OK. The consistency was similar to a gumdrop, and the taste was fine initially but they packed a pretty severe aftertaste. Also, I'm not convinced that they packed the same energy punch as the GU.

On the way back, I decided to repeat exactly what I'd done on the way out. So, I kept walking until I'd walked .37miles, then I stopped to stretch, and then I was off again. (Wow, that makes it sound fast!) I made it nearly 2 miles before I had to take a walk break (only 2 minutes of walking, though!). I walked one tenth, and then ran some more. After a while, another walk break... And then, I ran it the rest of the way in.

So, totals... I covered 7 miles. And I ran 6.07. Yay for PR's. No problems with my knee at all, at least until I got back and sat down for a while. All in all, I felt great!

Afterwards, TNT held a nutrition seminar for us. The nutritionist was very helpful, and she taught me something I didn't know: Pop is bad for you. OK, OK, I guess I already knew that. But, I didn't know exactly why. Is it because a can of pop has a whopping 10.2 teaspoons of sugar in it? No, your dentist loves that.

Pop (almost every brand, diet, regular, Coke, Pepsi, Dr.P., brown, green, otherwise) has phosphoric acid in it. This is part of what makes the bubbles, which we all know, makes the nectar of the gods stay fresh. Now, do you know what else has phosphoric acid?

Tilex. Scrubbing Bubbles. Things you use to de-scum your shower. And why is this so? It's because phosphoric acid clings to calcium. It sticks to calcium and drags it right off your bathroom tiles, and similarly, right out of your bones.

Well, maybe I'm the only idiot out there who didn't know about this, but.... I didn't know about this! So, considering my troubled joints and my recent decision to take a vitamin supplement to help increase joint strength/cartilage production (thanks SoxFan!), I think an equally important step is to eliminate things that will defeat the purpose of said supplement.

She also gave us a very handy list of things that we, as athletes (I could hardly contain my laughter imagining myself an athlete), should be eating every single day. It was good, sound advice, and I'll make some changes to my weekly shopping trip.

I decided to miss the Komen 5K Race for the Cure this year. I sent in my first of many Student Loan Repayment checks yesterday, and I'm still in the money shock. Also, I didn't get in until nearly midnight (go Rockies!). Also, I did 7 miles yesterday. I was tired. My legs were sore. Clearly, I have no lack of excuses for my slacker self.

Wow...yesterday's group run... lots of things...

I did 6.4 miles.

I have trouble deciphering from my Garmin track this time, and because the idea of reporting my "distance covered" separately from my "running" is starting to give me anxiety over walking at all, I've decided to just lump it all together from now on. Hence, I ran/walked 6.4 miles. Another new PR for me!

I arrived at the start point a full 30 minutes ahead of schedule (blame this on my irrational fear of being late) and sat in my car listening to music for a while. The air was cold and dry, and I got to watch the sunrise. As I watched the sun come up and saw what a great day was ahead, I successfully calmed that terrible inner voice that so often plagues me (the one that says "An hour and 45 minutes? Are you crazy?"). I took my very first ever GU (tri-berry w/ caffeine, and the consistency is very similar to Hershey's Caramel Syrup that you pour on ice cream) which I very quickly chased with water, and I was ready to go.

We headed off on the Cheery Creek (a.k.a. Concrete Torture) Trail, walking at first, then speeding up (slightly) to a nice run. The course yesterday was entirely through city streets, so there was a lot of waiting at stop lights, etc. It interrupted my running hypnosis, and I found it hard to stay in a nice rhythm. On and on we went, though, past the Cherry Creek Mall and the Denver Country Club, all the way down to Washington Park. If I hadn't gotten lost at one point, this would have been 3 miles.

As I arrived at the park, I was happy to see that I'd reached the water station. On all my previous group runs, my slow pace has kept me from reaching the water station in the allotted time. So, I felt like I'd gained a small victory. Woohoo! I walked a minute, took another GU (Strawberry Banana w/o Caffeine) and washed it down with some water, and I was on my way back.

I think the GU really helps, people. I was in pretty serious need of a little boost, and about a quarter of a mile into the trip back, I found the extra energy I was needing. It kept me going for another mile and a half or so. As I approached the finish, I was spent, though. I had to run/walk the last mile.

Initially, I was slightly disappointed that I wasn't able to run the full 6, but all in all, it was a decent group run for me. No aches and pains to speak of, just general fatigue at the end that kept me from realizing the full 6. A day later, I'm pleased with how it went, actually.

Afterwards, I got sick. I've narrowed down the reasons to one of the following:

1. I didn't sleep enough the night before,
2. I pushed myself too hard,
   
3. GU does not agree with me, or
   
4. In my haste to be modest, I got too hot because I put on my sweatshirt immediately after finishing and then went into a small hot room to have breakfast with the team.

I am not blaming the GU at this point, because I'd like to try it again, and I wasn't in severe pain, which makes me think that I didn't push myself too hard. I probably didn't sleep enough before this run, and I probably should have sucked it up and let my bare arms show for a few minutes to properly cool down.

At the Team Hero breakfast following the run, we heard from Dr. B. (Dr. B is the man on my team who, if you remember, raised $8000 in the week after the kickoff meeting.) I assumed he was going to talk about fundraising, for obvious reasons, but instead he told a story of a family that he knew.

The 2-year old daughter had been sick for a while, and doctors had been unable to determine what was wrong with her. She kept getting worse; her eyes were swollen shut and her body weight had doubled due to all of the fluids she was retaining. So her family took her to see a pediatric specialist in Seattle. The doctors in Seattle didn't have any immediate answers either, so they brought their daughter back to Denver. Six hours after arriving home from the airport, the doctors in Seattle called and said that the girl had Leukemia, and her only chance would be to take part in a research study with a new drug that didn't even have a name yet. They said she may not make it through the night, and they needed to get her back to Seattle as soon as possible.

Of course, they caught the next flight back to Seattle and got their daughter started on this new unnamed drug. 100 hospital days later, she was cancer free. She had trouble for a few years (she had to be home-schooled for the first 2 years of school and her family had to be very careful not to introduce germs around her), but she's now a thriving 12-year old.

The research that developed the drug that saved this girl's life was funded by the LLS. The little girl was Dr. B's.

Seeing that grown man cry tears of gratitude made me feel proud of what I am doing. I'm lucky to be whole and able to run at all, and I'm proud to be using my strength to support an organization that helps people in the way that it helped Dr. B.

No anxiousness here...

There were many reasons why today's run was going to be bad. I ate chocolate and drank a pop this morning before noon, for instance. (What was I thinking?) But, instead of beating myself up for all the bad decisions I made today, I'm just going to blame today's disaster of a 60 minute run on the fact that after yesterday's run, anything would have seemed bad.

I was too hot, my legs were tired (not hurting, but just tired), I was in a rush to get back to work for my 6PM meeting (I know, doesn't that seem silly for an engineer to return to work for a meeting at 6PM?), I couldn't get into a groove, I ran the first mile too fast... take your pick. I have a list of excuses a fast mile long.

The truth is, it's hard to run 5 days a week, dude! By the time Thursday rolls around, I've just run Tuesday and Wednesday... and I'm kindof pooped! The rest of my excuses are pretty lame.

So, now I have a rest day, and then it's on to the (*duh duh duhhhhhh....*) super scary 1:45 run. My insecurities flare. My legs tremble in fear. My brain tries to convince me that it's impossible. But I will not be convinced. Instead, I will address my problems as all good engineers do: as a list of problems to be solved.

1.) Hydration--> I need to figure out some way to hydrate along the way. I have bought two GU packets (Tri-berry and Strawberry Banana, any recommendations?), but I'm supposed to follow those with water. I need a way to carry water and GU. Ideas? This brings me to my other "carrying" issue...

2.) iPod--> Currently, I have been carrying my iPod in my hand. I don't own one of those nifty arm iPod carrier things. I have looked, but all the ones that I find anymore are for the teeny little nanos or the ginormous iPod Video. I am considering buying a generic one (a much cheaper option) at sports authority. It won't be a perfect fit, but who cares, right?

3.) Walking--> This is a big one. So far, when I run on my own, I walk 7 minutes, then I start timing my run from there. If I'm supposed to run 30, for instance, by the time I get back my Garmin says 37. On the group runs, because it's with a group, they want us to include all walking in our total (in fact, we're not even supposed to stop our watches to go to the bathroom or stretch!). This way, we all get to the finish point at the same time. Here's my problem: I don't like including the walking. I feel like I'm cheating if I insert a little walking into my running and then just let that count toward my overall time.

3a.) Walking, continued--> I feel like I've failed if I take a break from running and walk a bit. I know I didn't on my first group run. But I did last weekend during the group run, and I normally feel that way when I do my solo runs. This is a big problem heading into this weekend's run because I feel fairly certain that I won't be able to keep up a run, even a slow run, for an hour and 45 minutes.

4.) Paranoia --> I am allowing myself to become way way way too worried about this particular run. I am setting myself up for a hugely bad day. Obviously. Someone stop me now.

That pretty much covers it. Now that you're all aware of just exactly how insane a state of panic I'm living in these days...

On a side note, I met a cat today at the Talking Book who weighed 34lbs! And it wasn't like this was a huge cat (i.e. not a tall/long/big footed/otherwise abnormal), he was just really really fat. SoxFan's dogbeast Ini weighs in at 39lbs, and he's a fully grown border collie! That poor cat looked like a basketball with legs. When he laid on his side, his little legs just stuck straight out. Poor thing. But he sure was cute.

How quickly I forget...

Tonight, during my run, I finished "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. I found it alright. I kept waiting for it to pick up, but I never felt very connected to the narrator. And in this type of the story, that seems to be the most important thing, really. Either way, I'm finished. If you'd like a more complete review, let me know. Next up is "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer.

The run tonight was alright. Slow and easy, but ok. I'm still having some pain in my right calf muscle, but it seems to go away after the first mile or so and it only returns 15 or so minutes after I'm done. I'm secretly worried about my ankle, as well, which I fear may have suffered a stress fracture. Wow. Saying that out loud makes it seem much more likely that its true. I take it back, I take it back!

As for the important stuff... Yesterday during our group run, ConiferGal, the girl I met at my first TNT Info session... the girl who was impressed that I could run a 5K.... the girl whose talk made it seem like we were starting out on the same level... she ran 6 miles.

Why does this make me feel inadequate? Just about a week ago, I was feeling great about my new philosophy of ignoring everyone around me. Now, I'm back to my old ways. I am disappointed in myself for not keeping up with someone else... I am disappointed in myself for being disappointed in myself. I feel bad about my brand new shiny PR just because someone else's PR was a bit more of an R than mine. Why do I sabotage my success by introducing competition into the mix? It is completely unnecessary.

OK. Enough of that.

This week the weeknight runs start to ramp up a bit: 40 minutes on Tues, 45 on Wed, and 60 on Thurs... then... an hour and 45 minutes on Saturday (cue the "scary music"). I don't know why, because it seems completely arbitrary, but ever since I saw it on the schedule, the 1:45 run has been my "scary distance". I guess I should cover about 7 miles in that amount of time, but it's a really huge psychological hurdle for me. Then again, all of my group runs so far have been big psychological hurdles, and yet I have managed, for the first 2 weeks at least, to overcome them. Maybe the next group run will be the same?

Also on the agenda this week: I have GOT to get some more fundraising done.

Hooray for new PR's!

Well, as promised, I did the run. Perhaps not with as much grace and ease as I had promised, but I did it nonetheless. Actually, it was a new record for me, with my total distance being 4.87 miles and my total running distance being 4.11 miles!

Now for the details:

• I walked the 1st 7 minutes because that's just what I do... Then I stretched and then I was on my way. I ran more than a 5K before stopping to walk a bit. I caught up to a really nice woman called CJ, and we chatted for about 4 minutes about fundraising. I thought, at that point, that I could run it in the rest of the way. But, I was wrong. After one more teensy short walk break, however, I made it back to the starting point.

• I am proud of myself because this is the longest distance I've ever run. But at the same time, I'm disappointed in myself a little bit just now. I mean, did stopping to walk for 4 minutes really make that much of a difference? I can't remember. I would not have covered any additional distance overall, but I would have had more distance running rather than walking. (And we're all clear here that I use the term running rather loosely.) It may not look a lot different to you, but it is very different to me.

• The Highline Canal, where we ran today, is a really great spot for running. It's a gravel-ish trail along a canal (go figure), that winds through residential areas and has great shade cover. It's very similar to the Boulder Creek Path, except gravel, rather than concrete (my knees say: 'thank goodness!'). Looking at the schedule, it seems like we do several runs at this location, so hopefully before too long, I will begin to recognize landmarks the way I do on my weeknight runs... that really helps keep me going sometimes.

Now for the bad news: I am hurting. I have not been stretching enough, and my right calf muscle (the soleus, I believe), which has been bothering me since June, is still bothering me and appears to be getting worse. On my way home, I went out and bought The Stick (not to be confused with the Foam Roller, which is a torture device that physical therapists love to recommend). If you haven't met The Stick yet and you are a runner,... let me introduce you. Stick, this is a runner. Runner, this is your new best friend. Seriously. It's like a really cheap massage.

OK. Enough rambling now. I'm off to shower and get on with the rest of my day. I'll write more later. I have some thoughts about today's run that I haven't shared yet.

First group run report

The time was 6:37AM; the place, Washington Park in Denver, Colorado. It was sunny but chilly and beautiful outside, and there were a lot of cars in the parking lot. As I pulled up, my nervousness began to grow exponentially, but I took it as a good omen when I laughed at the bumper sticker on the car parked in front of me: "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup." The resulting giggle helped me calm down and get out of the car... Step one, complete.

We all stood stretching in a circle. I felt intimidated because everyone else there appeared to be more fit than I. Then I saw ConiferGal, from the TNT info meeting. That helped me feel better because talking to her at the info meeting, it sounded like we were both starting out at the same place (ie not knowing how far we could actually go...). After a few minutes of stretching and giving out a few awards to some amazing fundraisers (one guy has raised $8000 since the kick-off meeting last week!), we were on our way. I intentionally let everyone head out ahead of me. I stuck in my earbuds, as well, to block out as much of everything as possible.

I decided to walk to the stretch point, about 10 minutes out, because that most closely replicates what I do at home. I figured I had enough newly introduced variables.... So, I walked for about 10, then I jogged the rest. I had one 2 minute walk break thrown in near the end as well.

I felt like I was going at a snail's pace, but as it turns out, my 5K time from yesterday was my quickest yet! YAY for PR's! And I smiled when I finished. I even told a joke or two to my teammates.

Afterwards, I felt great. I was tired, but not completely wiped out. I was able to head out to the dog park with the crazy beast Ini and his human SoxFan, then back to WashPark for some Ultimate Frisbee spectating, then off to Boulder to celebrate with KevBones who just finished his Master's Defense (Congratulations KevBones!). I was a little worried about the run today (30 minutes again on my own), but it turned out to be GREAT, even though my Garmin died right before I started running so I have no idea about my pace... It was a great run anyway.

I really wanted to run a full 60 minutes on Saturday, and I did not. I still count the group run as a huge success, though. All the fears that I wrote about on Friday night, I conquered on Saturday. I felt a slight twinge of jealousy/competitiveness as I saw ConiferGal's back getting farther and farther away from me, but I reminded myself that I needn't compare myself to anyone else in gauging my success or failure. From that point forward, I successfully blocked out everyone and everything else. I kept my focus on what I was doing, my pace, my distance, my breathing, my form.... And it worked. I very well may have been the last person to finish on Saturday, but I truly did not care.

And even though I walked to the stretch point, and even though I took a small walk break right before the end of the run, I do not feel like I let myself down. I walked those distances because I felt a need to, and I knew that I was making the best decision for myself. Just like picking out a good running shoe, all that really matters is what works for you.

left, right, left, right. repeat.

So, it's the night before my very first group run, and I am up WAY too late. My plan was to go with some friends to the Rockies game but still return home at a reasonable hour to get sufficient nutrition and sleep. I'm beginning to understand, however, that doing things on Friday nights may be out for me altogether for a while. I am supposed to be at Washington Park in about 7 hours. Yikes!

Aside from the fear of not sleeping enough tonight, and the fear of that vanilla dipped cone I just had to have at the game tonight making an encore appearance during the run tomorrow, I do have some very real fears that I feel like I could flesh out a bit here.

What is scary about running with other people? It's scary only because I know myself fairly well. I know that when I get there tomorrow morning, I will immediately begin comparing myself to the other runners/walkers. I will feel inadequate and nervous and bad. I know this because it's what I do in almost every situation. I struggle with the urge to keep up, to compete, and to compare... on a daily basis. That is one thing that I hope to learn during this whole process: to be alright with myself, just as I am, without comparison to anyone else.

Talking to my very awesome friend, NewMama, (who lives, tragically, very far away) a few nights ago, she reminded me that even if I walk a while during my "runs", I'm still out there doing something great! If my goal is to run 60 minutes (as is my goal tomorrow), and I only end up running 49 and walking 11, I've still done a whole lot better than 60 whole minutes sitting on the couch watching re-runs of America's Next Top Model (because, let's face it, that's the only thing on TV on the weekends... at least on my meager channel lineup).

She's completely right. This whole experience is about me pushing myself. It isn't about being fast or slow or how I finish in my age group. For me, it's about the journey to the finish, which sometimes runs tangent to other people. But my success is not at all defined by how my journey stacks up against anyone else's; rather it is defined by honestly answering this question: "Self, did you push as hard as you could have?"

With that, I put my fears (and my head) to bed.