No anxiousness here...

There were many reasons why today's run was going to be bad. I ate chocolate and drank a pop this morning before noon, for instance. (What was I thinking?) But, instead of beating myself up for all the bad decisions I made today, I'm just going to blame today's disaster of a 60 minute run on the fact that after yesterday's run, anything would have seemed bad.

I was too hot, my legs were tired (not hurting, but just tired), I was in a rush to get back to work for my 6PM meeting (I know, doesn't that seem silly for an engineer to return to work for a meeting at 6PM?), I couldn't get into a groove, I ran the first mile too fast... take your pick. I have a list of excuses a fast mile long.

The truth is, it's hard to run 5 days a week, dude! By the time Thursday rolls around, I've just run Tuesday and Wednesday... and I'm kindof pooped! The rest of my excuses are pretty lame.

So, now I have a rest day, and then it's on to the (*duh duh duhhhhhh....*) super scary 1:45 run. My insecurities flare. My legs tremble in fear. My brain tries to convince me that it's impossible. But I will not be convinced. Instead, I will address my problems as all good engineers do: as a list of problems to be solved.

1.) Hydration--> I need to figure out some way to hydrate along the way. I have bought two GU packets (Tri-berry and Strawberry Banana, any recommendations?), but I'm supposed to follow those with water. I need a way to carry water and GU. Ideas? This brings me to my other "carrying" issue...

2.) iPod--> Currently, I have been carrying my iPod in my hand. I don't own one of those nifty arm iPod carrier things. I have looked, but all the ones that I find anymore are for the teeny little nanos or the ginormous iPod Video. I am considering buying a generic one (a much cheaper option) at sports authority. It won't be a perfect fit, but who cares, right?

3.) Walking--> This is a big one. So far, when I run on my own, I walk 7 minutes, then I start timing my run from there. If I'm supposed to run 30, for instance, by the time I get back my Garmin says 37. On the group runs, because it's with a group, they want us to include all walking in our total (in fact, we're not even supposed to stop our watches to go to the bathroom or stretch!). This way, we all get to the finish point at the same time. Here's my problem: I don't like including the walking. I feel like I'm cheating if I insert a little walking into my running and then just let that count toward my overall time.

3a.) Walking, continued--> I feel like I've failed if I take a break from running and walk a bit. I know I didn't on my first group run. But I did last weekend during the group run, and I normally feel that way when I do my solo runs. This is a big problem heading into this weekend's run because I feel fairly certain that I won't be able to keep up a run, even a slow run, for an hour and 45 minutes.

4.) Paranoia --> I am allowing myself to become way way way too worried about this particular run. I am setting myself up for a hugely bad day. Obviously. Someone stop me now.

That pretty much covers it. Now that you're all aware of just exactly how insane a state of panic I'm living in these days...

On a side note, I met a cat today at the Talking Book who weighed 34lbs! And it wasn't like this was a huge cat (i.e. not a tall/long/big footed/otherwise abnormal), he was just really really fat. SoxFan's dogbeast Ini weighs in at 39lbs, and he's a fully grown border collie! That poor cat looked like a basketball with legs. When he laid on his side, his little legs just stuck straight out. Poor thing. But he sure was cute.