Denver HM '09 Race Report

Alright, it's time. I've been putting this off for over a week now. And I have good reason...

My first instinct was to file the 2009 Denver Half Marathon under "N" for "Not impressive"... or maybe "Not awesome"... or even "Not even worth mentioning"... I wanted to strike it from my memory and any/all record books. It was the suck in all imaginable ways and I wanted to forget it ever happened.

But that is not an option.

The day started out well enough. I ate a PB&J for breakfast (last year's pathetic PBtoast & banana was hideously inadequate) and I was up and ready to go earlier than I'd planned. Miah even woke up on time and didn't waste a lot of time getting ready to leave. We didn't hit any traffic jams and only one detour on our quest for a parking spot near the start/finish and we ended up finding one only a couple of blocks away.* We got to the start/finish area and there was Gatorade and water everywhere, and I even bumped into my Runner's Edge coach waiting in line for the port-a-potty. I was feeling a little mix of nervous and excited, but I have to say it was probably 70% excited and only 30% nervous because I had enough confidence to poke fun at Miah over this thing or that, and we even got into an acorn throwing contest, which abruptly ended when he nailed me in the forehead with one.**

Eventually, the announcer screamed into his mic*** that it was time for us to all line up (which, as we all know means that there's only another 30 minutes to stand around before the race actually begins, but now you have to wait in your teensy little running clothes rather than the fleece jacket and warmup pants you had to hastily stuff into your gearbag). I lined up just like last year: at the front of the fast walkers. Actually, I lined up right next to a lady holding a 5:30 sign, which I thought was a bit ambitious for me, but, like I said, I was overloaded with confidence.

The lining up process always gives me a few things to think about. On the way there, Miah and I were talking about how people don't just "show up" for a marathon or a half marathon. I mean, it's possible to decide on a whim that you want to run a 5K (much like my brother, Brandon, did when I was in Newbern earlier this year). But you don't decide on a whim to go out and run 26.2 (or even 13.1) miles. Right? Wrong. Here are two conversations I heard while in the start corral:

Exhibit A
Girl in front of me to her husband: "So, how many Bolder Boulder's is this, anyway?"
Husband: "A little more than two."
Girl: "So, how many 5K's is that?"
Me (thinking): "oh dear...."

Exhibit B
Other girl in front of me (with full makeup and HOT-ROLLED HAIR): "So, where are we supposed to line up? We don't know how fast we run."

So, obviously, there are people who decide on a whim to run this distance (with lots of make up and hot rolled hair, even!). This is 75% depressing.

Anyway, eventually, the whole herd of us began to inch forward and then we picked it up a bit and we were running. Yay! And I was going at a pretty nice clip, too, even weaving and dodging and passing people (what a feeling!). My first mile was 11:something, my second mile was 11:something. I was shocked but I felt great because I knew I had to average 12:30s to hit my (A) time goal.

My Garmin managed to keep a signal through the early parts of the urban canyon, but somewhere near the 5K mark something screwy happened and I lost about a quarter mile. So, at this point my splits are completely screwed up and I have no idea how fast/slow I'm running. The timer part was still working, though, so I did glance down at each posted mile marker to see how I was doing and I crossed the 5mile mark at 1:02:something. Awesome. I was right on pace!

Well, as you can imagine, this is where things started to fall apart. There was no Gatorade and very little water at the aid station at mile 4. By the time I hit mile 6, I was wilting. Jeff and Kevin and Miah had caught up with me on their bikes and they were doing an awesome job cheering for me and ringing cowbells while riding bikes (and not crashing). And I tried hard to put on a brave face for them. But when they got close enough, I heard myself say: "I need Gatorade. They were out at the aid station. I think I might throw up." Yeah... That was sort of the beginning of the end.

Miah ran to 7-11 and came back to find me with bottles of water and Gatorade. I turned into my old nemesis - City Park - for miles 6.5 through8ish.**** The nice chilly morning that had started the day had turned into an all-out sweatfest in the high 60s. And right at the relay transition zone, I slowed... to ... a walk. It was crushing. I just didn't have it anymore. I wanted to keep running. I tried everything to will myself to keep running. But I just didn't have any gas in the tank.

I did my best through the rest of the race, but it was a struggle. My goals slowly changed from hitting a time goal to just simply surviving. I ran as much as I could and I tried to be tough. But when I turned into Cheesman park, I cried. I was so upset with myself as I watched my time goals slip away. I was upset because I'd made poor decisions that had led me to that point. I was upset because I just didn't have it.

Finally---finally---I came to the finish. But I did so with a much different feeling in 09 than I had in 08. As I finished, I hung my head in defeat. I didn't feel proud. I didn't feel like I'd overcome an insurmountable challenge. I felt like the challenge had overcome me.

I crossed the finish and got my bottle of water and my medal. And my time? A whole 38 seconds slower than my time last year. I immediately laid down on the grass and wondered why I fell apart.

Eventually, I got my sorry ass up and dragged over to meet up with Miah and Kevin and Jeff, who were cheering for me as if I'd just won the entire race. They were awesome and I felt ashamed for putting up such a pitiful effort in front of them. I tried hard to dry my shameful tears and joke with them and laugh off my lack of performance, but I'm sure they could see through it. But, because they're amazing and wonderful friends, they pretended not to and instead they just encouraged me to keep going and they reminded me that everyone has a bad day sometimes.

I had a hard time recovering after the race, but eventually I was able to get up and walk again and Miah drove me home, where we promptly took a 3 hour nap.

----------------------------------------
* A couple of blocks away seemed like a prime parking spot until after the race, when I didn't want to even walk another step. Then it seemed like it was at least 100 miles.

** Perhaps rather than throwing things at my spouse like a juvenile, I should have been trying to focus on my upcoming race?

*** Do us a favor, Denver, and next year don't even bother giving that dude a mic. He certainly doesn't need one with all that yelling he does.

**** I kept trying to psych myself out of feeling icky over City Park. It's only a couple of miles... it's only a couple of miles... I just HATE running there. There's no logical reason for it.
----------------------------------------

Now that the race is a week behind me, I've had a little time to reflect on it and because of that reflection, this blog post has certainly turned out differently. Like I said earlier, I wanted very badly to forget this whole race ever happened. I can now definitely say I'm not proud of my "accomplishment" this year, but I'm also glad it happened. So I won't forget this race happened because I learned some difficult and important lessons out on the course this year that I wouldn't have learned if I had had a spectacular, PR-breaking run:

1. Eat more than a baked potato for dinner the night before a half marathon. Even if you are scared of gastro-intestinal problems. Chances are, if you eat nothing, you'll still have gastro-intestinal problems, you'll just also have any empty stomach.
2. Carry your own GU (sport beans, etc). Even if the race says they'll be provided on course, sometimes they run out before you get there (if you're slow like me) and even if they don't, chances are you will get a disgusting flavor that you can barely choke down (especially if the GU station is a half mile ahead of the water station).
3. Don't speed out from the start at a pace you know you can't maintain. This seems fairly obvious, yet it still escaped me on race day.
4. When it's hot out, make sure you drink more water on the course than otherwise would. If it's available. Denver.
5. It's ok to re-assess mid-way through a race. This year, my goals shifted from running fast to just running to just finishing without dying. And I learned something during each one of those phases.
   

So, an award-winning run? Definitely not. But a memorable one nonetheless. I have two real running medals now. My first one, from last year, which has a story because it was my first. And the one from '09, which has a story (albeit a tragedy) of its own.

I won't quit. I'm still eyeing R'N'R Arizona in January. Because I know I can do better than this. I know I set myself up for a bad day and I know I can do better.

And it always helps when other things in life happen to help you keep your running goals/achievements/failures in perspective... more on that later.

Goals

It's 4:30AM. I'm up and ready to go. But in my mind, I've run this race twice today already.

During my first time through the race, I forgot to turn on my Garmin and was all out of sorts. I don't even remember having shoes on. The second time through, everything went perfectly... I was running like a Kenyan. It felt awesome. And then I woke up and realized "Oh no, you haven't even gotten started yet."

After a great deal of thought yesterday, I think it'd be a good idea to put down my real goals for today...

1. Finish without feeling like I've been hit by a truck. This is ambitious, considering how I felt after last year's race.
2. Finish in 2:45. This is my (A) time goal, the one that is a reach.
3. Finish in 3:00. This is my (B) time goal, the one I have a good chance of hitting. It's a couple of minutes faster than last year's time, so if I manage to do this, I can at least say the race was a PR, even if I miss my real time goal.
4. Get past mile 11 without wishing I was dead or wondering why I signed up in the first place. It's just a few more miles, after all. I've done 10 and it wasn't so bad. Another 3.1 won't kill me. I need to maintain perspective.
5. Avoid feeling bad about myself and doing a lot of beating myself up, regardless of my time. This is a tough spot for me.
6. Have fun and remember why I'm out there. It's not supposed to be easy (at least, not for me). I'm doing it because it's hard.

Let's hope the third time is the charm.

T-15 hours

Though it doesn't seem possible, I'm sitting in my house the day before my second half marathon. It doesn't seem possible because I don't feel nervous (really) or excited (really) about it yet. At this time last year, I was already shaking. I felt worried and scared and really really nervous. But this time around, I feel a little disappointed, but that's about it, I guess.

Maybe it's because I'm no longer a half marathon virgin. It's not my first time, so it doesn't come with all the anticipation I had last year? Still, I'd like to feel something.

When I went to the expo yesterday to pick up my bib and whatnots*, I did feel a little excited. It's hard not to, with all the running gear and race advertisements and free stuff, you know? I also felt a little unprepared. Maybe it's because I didn't train at altitude this year like I did last year? Maybe it's because I took those 2 weeks off when I was having foot problems? Maybe I feel like I haven't trained hard enough or have been too lazy with my diet? There were all these other people around, and in my mind, they'd all had a perfect training season with no missed runs, no bad runs, no runs that kicked their butts. They were all perfectly trained and simply waiting for the gun to go off so that they could have the race of their lives. Why do I let my imagination run away with me?

Truthfully, I'm a little nervous because I've set a time goal for myself that I know is going to be tough for me to meet. I'll give it my very best effort, but there is a good chance I'm going to come away from tomorrow with a great big FAIL.

Maybe now is the time to re-frame.

Good luck to all of you racing tomorrow!
------------------
* Speaking of the Denver Marathon whatnots, way to go DM for splurging on technical shirts for all runners this year! My 2009 NewBalance running shirt is FAR better than the cotton print t-shirt you gave me last year. I'm not sure if the logo on the front was supposed to be crooked last year, but mine certainly was.

Awesome ice helmet

Saturday's run was exactly as I expected: cold and wet.

But it was also something else that I didn't expect: pretty freaking awesome.

It was snowing and 16 degrees out when I got out of the car, and I felt drastically unprepared with my non-waterproof gear. But, I was out there, running in the elements like one of those really hard-core people you see on the pages of Runner's World.

Well... not exactly like them, I guess... I was still slow.

I only had to do 6 miles on Saturday, since the Denver Half Marathon is coming up this Sunday. I found a knitted ear warmer and a cheap pair of gloves to wear, and I ended up deciding at the last minute to wear my fleece under my non-waterproof windbreaker. I was cold, dude, I thought the extra layer would help.

In the early miles I had a few slips on the sidewalk, but nothing dramatic like a real fall because I was taking every step quite gingerly. By the third mile, though, I was sort of just trucking along not worrying about slipping anymore. The snow kept getting caught in my eyelashes and at one point I reached up to find the entire top of my head frozen solid (seriously, it felt like an ice-helmet). But I kept on running, with that image in my mind of all those really tough runners I see out every winter... When I'm safe and warm and being lazy in the car on those winter days, I always say "Man, I'll be they're totally hatin' it!"... But in reality, they probably aren't. They're probably just as smug as I was last Saturday thinking "Damn I'm tough."

All in all, the run wasn't my fastest ever, but it wasn't my worst, either. It was one of the ones where I felt the strongest, though. I probably was slightly distracted by the weather and I probably could have pushed a little harder, but hey, I used to be distracted to the point of not even running at all in the rain and pushing harder might have led to a serious fall that would have kept me out of the race this Sunday. I'm glad I was out there. Cold and all.

And now, as the race comes up on Sunday, I'm still not really sure it's hit me that it's actually this weekend. I'm starting to get nervous, but I've not yet reached that point where I'm not able to sleep and I feel like I might puke, so there's still a ways to go.

Snow, Denver. I dare you.

I did it! I ran in the snain yesterday. I just learned that word and I find it a great explanation of the weather we had yesterday.

Anyway, I'm totally tough now.

When I started running, it was fully snowing. Then it must have warmed up a bit because the snow turned to rain and eventually stopped altogether. I wore my full-length tights and long sleeve shirt and topped it off with a huge windbreaker. I don't have anything that is officially waterproof (except for my ski jacket, but come on dude that thing is way too heavy for running), so I wore an old adidas jacket and I did alright.

For tomorrow's "long" run (only 6 miles, woohoo!), I plan to use the same kit, but I'll also try to find a pair of gloves and an ear-warmer/headband. Why all the planning and concern over my attire? We run at 7AM. There's a 70% chance of snow. Not even snain because it's going to be too flipping cold.

6 am 25°F Feels Like 15°F

9 am 25°F Feels Like 16°F

12 pm 31°F Feels Like 22°F

3 pm 35°F Feels Like 27°F

6 pm 33°F Feels Like 25°F

9 pm 28°F Feels Like 19°F

Bring it on. I'm tough now.

Layer up!

Last night's 4miler was pretty good, all things considered. I wasn't in the mood to run, but I knew I really needed to get out there anyway, so for the first half mile or so I had really heavy legs. But eventually, my mind sort of gave up fighting it and things got easier. The leaves are turning in town now, and every run along the creek is beautiful with orange leaves. Last night was no exception.

At one point, I ran up behind an old couple taking a walk along the creekside path, holding hands. They were probably in their 70's at least. I wondered "Will Miah and I take walks like this when we're that age?" It was a very sweet moment. Which I immediately ruined by thinking "Well, if we do, I hope I don't have blue helmet hair like that lady does..."

It is freezing and raining/snowing today in Denver, but I brought along my huge bag of warm running clothes and my shoes. I'm trying to decide if I'm tough enough to get out there in the drizzly, freezing cold this afternoon for a teensy little 3miler. I'm not sure yet. There's always the dreadmill downstairs...

Things are pretty good here...

At last, a good long run.

Last Thursday, I did a 4-miler from the office down to the park. It was chilly and windy out, and I was determined to be done with all of the really terrible outings of late. I tried to put all the negative thoughts and doubts out of my head and just tried to relax and run. And it went GREAT. I finished with an 11:30ish average pace. It was a really gorgeous run with all the leaves turning yellow along the creek. This time between seasons is always my favorite time of year.

But, I would be lying if I said it's not c-c-c-cold here in the mornings. So, on Saturday, when I met up with the group at the Highline Canal it was a brisk 38degrees out. And there were folks there with sleeveless running shirts and shorts on! I was freezing my butt off wearing long sleeves and capris. At least I had a fully charged iPod and Garmin.

The group was small because a lot of people were running the St. George marathon, so our pace group was a bit scant. But it really didn't matter. I felt, even from the very first step, like I had to do this run just for me. I couldn't focus on the conversations of the people around me. I couldn't hope to compare my own pace with the others in the group. I just had to turn up my music and sort of do my own thing.

And that is exactly what I did. For 10 miles. I completely ignored everyone and everything else, and just tried to focus on how I was doing. I did a complete body inventory every so often, and nothing hurt. I enjoyed myself. I walked when I needed to during mile 9, I went faster when a great song came on. I laughed at the little tiny tots playing baby league football, with their little shoulder pads and their shiny little helmets. It was... a great run.

But I was ready to be done, too. Because, I'm going to be honest here.... 10 miles... is a long freaking way (for me). I look forward to the day when it isn't, but this is where I'm at right now.

All in all, I feel a lot better than I did a week ago. I know that Denver is going to be a tough day for me, and that is ok. It's just a goal. Not the only one, just the first one on the list of all the ones that are left.

I was very disappointed to learn that the half-marathon I'd been planning on running in Memphis has sold out. So, now I'm thinking of shooting for another half in January at the RNR Arizona. I figure mid-January will give me enough time to get a few more 10+ milers under my belt and maybe combat the accompanying mental struggle.

In completely non-running-related news, Miah and I are trying to buy our first house. We put in an offer weeks ago on a short sale property and we've been waiting and waiting to hear if our offer is accepted. In the meantime, we've spent many hours at the Home Depot designing a new kitchen and picking out carpet and paint. And we're supposed to hear something from the seller/seller's agent pretty soon.... Or else I'm going to lose it.

The highs and lows...

The Denver Half Marathon is 18 days away, and I've got a big problem.

The group run on Saturday was the infamous "Parker Run". I've been hearing tales of its mercilessness since I joined the group several weeks ago. My 7 mile run a few weeks ago was hilly but, as everyone reminded each other as we collected back in the parking lot to retrieve our keys, "it wasn't quite as bad as Parker..."

On top of all this anticipation, I may or may not have mentioned before that as my long runs get to 7+miles, I feel a little unsure of myself. I'm not sure why 7 is the trigger, but for me, it is. Also, just coming off that awful 8miler that I did in TN... well, let's just say I was a little intimidated by my 9miler from the get-go.

So, I don't know if it was my attitude or if it was just the hills, but my 9miler turned out about like I expected it would. I couldn't make the hills. I had to stop and walk. I ran S-L-O-W on the parts where I could run at all. Even on the way back, when it was mostly downhill, I didn't run very strong. Maybe that was due to the completely demoralizing run out right before? Either way, I kept on going and only had to walk maybe a half mile out of the entire thing... But it wasn't a great day.

Big deal, right? Bad runs happen to everyone, and I shouldn't have been surprised by this one, considering all the advance warning I'd received by other members of the group.

The problem is... that run stole everything from me. I dragged back to my car with no confidence whatsoever. All of the sudden, I'm very fearful that I'm not ready for Denver. I feel undertrained and weak and just not ready. It even stole my motivation. I could barely force myself to run a measly 2miles yesterday after work. I didn't want to run. I would have rather gone home and watched TV.

Maybe it wasn't just the Parker run. Maybe it was the combination of the TN run along with the Parker run. Maybe it's all those weeknight runs I missed when my foot was hurting too bad to run. Maybe it's my haphazard diet? Maybe it's just old habits that come back too easily when the tide is going against me?

Whatever the cause of it, I am scared. I wanted to feel much differently about the race at this stage in the game.

This weekend I have a 10miler at the good ol' Highline Canal. Miah says that he thinks going back to where it all started will be good for me. He thinks that knowing the route and not being intimidated by it will help me recover from this latest trip-and-fall. He also thinks I can "think" my way out of my current attitude and back into confidence.

I'm trying, but I'm not so sure it's going to work.

What did I do to deserve this?

I just had two of the most amazing weeknight runs of my life. Seriously, I mentioned Tuesday night's 2miler briefly in the last post because I thought it must surely be a fluke. I ran the two fastest miles I've ever run, I believe. Both were under 12m/m.

I figured it was just because it was only 2 miles, but I was still pretty proud of myself because I kept a good pace even on the uphill mile.

Then, last night, I had a 4 miler scheduled. I ran a new route from my office and my average pace? 12:09.

The first mile? 11:04.

What is going on around here? And why, all of a sudden, am I doing so well after that horrible wreck of a run in TN?

I am noticing a slight pattern... Back at the HM relay that I did with Miah and Jeff in April, it was cold and I ran fast (well, fast for me). It's been cold this week in Denver and I've been running fast. Is it possible that I just run that much faster when the temperature drops? Anyone else experience this?

Either way, I really like running fast. It feels like I'm really going somewhere! It feels great to stretch my legs out and take these long strides and feel the wind rushing past my face. And when I realize I'm running fast, and I try to rein it back in to a more reasonable pace, I find it very difficult to do!

The unhealthiest post-race snack. Ever.

Sea level is so over-rated. I went back to TN all cocky, what with my altitude training and my super red blood cells. But I met a bully called humidity. And humidity kicked my big old altitude-trained ass.

Seriously, I struggled to maintain 13 minute miles, I sweated more than I thought humanly possible. When I ran past the local high school in the pre-dawn hours, the display read "6:00AM, 78 degrees." I wish I was kidding. I did 5 miles before the race, rather than splitting up the run with the 5K. And without a doubt, the highlight of my running experience in TN was talking my little brother into running the local 5K that I referred to before I left. The 5K was a part of a big festival (called Depot Days) that the town throws once a year, so as soon as you finish the 5K, you had to walk less than 100yards to buy your own deep-fried twinkie and assorted Tennessee Vols gear. The weather was pretty crummy, so the events later in the day (the cake walk and the street dance, I guess) were likely cancelled.

Anyway, back to my little brother. He's not a runner. In his words: "Three miles? I can't even run from here to my truck and back!" But, my powers of persuasion are second to none, so I had a running partner for the last 5K of my dismal 8miler on Saturday. Here's a couple of pictures:

Here we are at the start...He's sort of smiling in this one.

And, he's definitely smiling as we approached the finish.

Suffice it to say that he was glad to be done. We finished in approximately 41 minutes, which was good enough for my brother to take a 1st place trophy in his age group! This race didn't exactly have a great turnout.

Afterwards I played with my very cute and adorable nephew (the soon-to-be big brother) at the assorted inflatable fun-houses. This was really fun until I saw a 6-year-old child pin him to the ground and shout "SUBMIT!" I wish I were kidding. This child was intense. Here's a picture of the cutie pie:

But the real reason for going to TN at all was to attend a baby shower for my sister-in-law. She's going to have my neice in October, and my mom and my aunt threw a truly beautiful baby shower for her. My aunt carved a baby carriage out of a watermelon. There were two towers of cupcakes. We made chocolate covered strawberries. We played fun games. And there was carrot cake. So it was worth the trip.

And, also while in TN, I started the process of talking my dad into training for a marathon with me. He's 54, and he used to do a lot of running when he was younger (35-40ish), but he hasn't in quite some time. I suggested that we train for and run the Memphis St. Jude Marathon in December 2010 together. He gave the very non-commital response: "I'll give it some thought." Which, in my dad's language, means: "I'm sure she'll forget about this in a couple of days... I hope." But I will not forget. As I mentioned before, my powers of persuasion are second to none.

I got back to the mile-high city with something to prove, after that pathetic 8miler on Saturday. So, today, I did an awesome 2miler from my office. In the rain. And cold. And snow. That's right, snow. I think I just run easier when it's cold out.

That's all I've got for tonight. Tomorrow is a 4miler for me.

My, what a tiny jog-bra you have!

OK, I just couldn't pass this up.

Today, I'm browsing over at runnersworld.com, and I find a nifty little tool to help me decide what to wear, based on the temperature, the wind conditions, the sky (sunny, overcast, etc) and how I like to feel when I'm running...

I found this because I was browsing around trying to find ideas for what type of gear I should be looking for as winter comes up in Denver.

This handy-dandy little tool seemed like a cool idea. So, for today, I put in 65F, calm winds, overcast skies, and I like to feel "cool" when I'm running. And here's what I got in return:

**************************************
We suggest you wear:

Hat with visor A hat with a visor serves not only to keep the sun out of your eyes, but also to shield them from blowing snow and rain on the run. A lighter-colored hat helps to keep your head cool on warm days.

Winter cap A warm hat that covers your ears is a must on cold days, especially windy ones, and can be one of the best steps you can take to keep warm. Thermastat or other technical-fiber hats are available at specialty running stores.

Short-sleeve shirt Or singlet, or for women, as little as a jog-bra. The minumum upper-body coverage. While this may look like a classic T-shirt, a runner is actually best-off with a technical fabric like CoolMax which will pull sweat away from the skin, instead of absorbing it like cotton. This added comfort, combined with sun protection, can make a technical T-shirt a better choice than no shirt at all.

Shorts The basic element of any runner's wardrobe. Usually a nylon or technical fiber.

**************************************

My favorite part of this is the suggestion that I go with "as little as a jog-bra." Now maybe there's some technical jargon of which I am unaware, but is a "jog-bra" not simply a sports-bra? And does it seem to anyone else that, by calling it a "jog-bra", you're immediately left with the mental image of some pretty little lightweight thing the size of a training bra the likes of which you might find on a 4th grader? In my mind, it's light pink with little daisies on it and probably smells like strawberry shortcake.

Sorry... This is completely ridiculous, but the thought of heading out in what runnersworld.com refers to as a "jog-bra" made me laugh out loud at my desk. Overlooking all of the obvious, parts-of-the-body-that-don't-go-into-the-jog-bra modesty issues, I feel quite confident that there is not a company on this earth that sells a "jog-bra" that could adaquately handle my ridiculously oversized (and painful!) endowment.

That is all.

Winter cap A warm hat that covers your ears is a must on cold days, especially windy ones, and can be one of the best steps you can take to keep warm. Thermastat or other technical-fiber hats are available at specialty running stores.

Poop-Glorious-Poop

That pretty much sums up my last 3 weekday runs.

After the 7-miler on Saturday, other than a little soreness, I was feeling pretty good. Until I started out on Tuesday's (what was meant to be Monday's) brief little 2-miler.

You know how you just have those days? You stub your toe getting out of bed, then you slip and fall in the shower, then you notice a massive pimple right between your eyes, then you burn your toast, then you get a speeding ticket because you're running late for work... and so on? Well, that was the day-to-day equivalent of Tuesday's little 2-miler. From the office, the first mile was all downhill, but it felt really hard. When I heard the Garmin beep, I figured out why. 11:30! That's why. Which meant that the second mile, the uphill mile, was all that much more gruesome. I couldn't wait to get this one done and in the books so I was thrilled when I finally stumbled back to the parking lot to find my car... which, of course, had no awaiting bottle of water. Stupid Tuesday.

Wednesdays are a little tricky in our house because we take Ini to Doggie Daycare (aka "school") on Wednesdays. So, this means we have a pretty strict schedule of when we need to leave the house to drop him off, as well as when we have to leave work to pick him up. Until this week, it was even more crazy in the afternoons because we had to rush up to Indian Hills (oh, I've run those hills before) to take him to Agility class. However, this Wednesday we didn't have agility, so I planned a sweet little point-to-point route from our office out to a point close to where Miah would be driving after picking Ini up from school. I was really excited to be running a new route. So excited, in fact, that I left the house without... my Garmin. I did not realize this until I was already at the office, however, so going back for it was not an option. Immediately, Garmin-less anxiety set in.

Ugh. I've done these runs before. You know... where you just run. And you have no idea of your pace or your distance or anything? How did I ever survive pre-Garmin?

In the end, it was a pretty awesome run. It was annoying to not have any idea how far I'd gone at any given point... And it was annoying not to have any idea how fast I was going. But I did the run, and I felt really good! I ended up finishing in about 52minutes, for 4 miles, which is right at a 13m/m pace. I guess my body is learning how to run roughly the same pace with or without my Garmin directing me. The most annoying thing has to be that there is no record whatsoever that I even did this run. Aside from what I've just written here... and still there's no proof! I could have totally made this up!

The best part of this run, anyway, was finishing right at the car. Miah and Ini were waiting for me with lemon-lime gatorade. What could be better?

And then came today, when I was forced to run in the pre-dawn hours because I'm flying out to TN this evening to visit my family. Again, today, another terrible slog. I'm blaming this one on lack of rest. It was just a mere 12 hours ago that I ran that glorious 4-miler, after all.

It's either the lack of rest or the fact that my head just wasn't right before I even started. I just didn't want to be running. There are lots of runs that I start with this exact attitude, but usually it wears off after the first mile or so. Not so today. Again... I can easily blame this on the lack of sleep.

What was supposed to be a measly 3-miler turned into a 2.3miler. I just didn't have it today.

The really excellent news in all this is that I've done all my weekday runs this week, and my foot still seems to be holding up pretty well. I got the word back from the doctor on Tuesday that I do NOT have a stress fracture, though she also offered no explanation as to what actually is wrong with me. So, at this point, I figure I'm going to just keep running on it until my body says otherwise.

I'm on the schedule for an 8-miler this Saturday, though, as I mentioned, I'll be vacationing this weekend in TN with my parents. Luckily, my tiny hometown (and I mean tiny) is having its annual 5k race this weekend, so I'll be out there (with approximately 20 other people) on Saturday morning.

Question: If I run 3 miles, then pause and register for the race, then run the 5k then continue on for an additional 2ish miles after... does that qualify as an 8-mile run? Does pausing in the middle make the run less meaningful?

Saturday wrap up

Well, I did it. I ran 7 miles on Saturday with the group, just like I'd intended.

And the foot held up pretty well for the first 2 miles or so.

When I started the run, I felt pretty good. A very slight twinge of pain now and then, but otherwise I felt pretty healthy. I intentionally tried to hold back on the speed, which led to abysmal splits, but I thought it might be better for the injured foot to run slowly. But, right before the first water station, I was having consistent pain with every footfall. In all reality, I probably should have turned back as soon as it started hurting. But I've skipped so many weeknight runs in the last couple of weeks, I just couldn't bear to turn around. Finishing those 7 miles, however slowly, was an indication that I may still have a shot at running in Denver in 5 weeks.

Provided that the foot holds up, of course.

I am still waiting on the results from the bone scan that I had done last Thursday.

All in all, I had an average pace of 14:27 for Saturday's really hilly group run. The weather was perfect, but the course was tough, and I did end up walking 0.4miles in there along the way. You can get all the details here. It's starting to feel like fall in Colorado. I always love this time of year.

Miah keeps reminding me that I need to carefully weigh my options right now. Maybe I can keep running, through the pain, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I should. He says that if I keep going, I need to realize that I may be sacrificing other things down the road. Not only might I not be able to run in Memphis, but I also might sacrifice the upcoming ski season. These are good points, I realize, but I have been trying to ignore them up until this point.

That's it for now, as I have a date with my dentist. There will be drilling involved. Ugh. What a way to start a Monday!

I am so back...

Injury update: I had the bone scan done today, but I've had ZERO pain for two days in a row now, which means I'm going to be running again. I'm going to do a few miles tomorrow, then I'm on the schedule for 7miles on Saturday. I may not have the results of the bone scan until early next week, but I feel confident that everything is fine now. I haven't run since Saturday, so I guess the rest (combined with the ibuprofen I've been taking in ludicrous amounts) was enough to get me better.

It's funny, but taking just a few days off running has made me realize how important running is to me. Sure, I complain about it every now and then (or every day), and sometimes it does genuinely suck... but, the thought of not being able to do it... well, it sort of makes all the other parts of my life fall apart, too.

I'll post a summary of tomorrow's run to let you know how the gimpy foot holds up.

Of all the rotten luck...

I now have a pair of these:I didn't write anything last week because I was so upset about my latest misfortune and I kept thinking if I ignored it, maybe it would go away.

It began a few hours after my first group run. Miah and I were out looking at houses and I had a pretty nasty pain in my left foot. I figured it was a muscle spasm or something and it would go away with a little rest. But, it did not go away. I saw the chiropractor on Monday morning to rule out any weird bones-out-of-place issues. Then when I tried running on it on Tuesday, the pain got even worse. I hit my McDoctor's office on Wednesday, where they took an x-ray and didn't find anything wrong. Big surprise.

Still, I have my suspicions... I'm off for a bone scan come Thursday morning to find out if it is a stress fracture.

I did go out to the group run on Saturday, where I did 4 miserable miles. And, though I still have a lot of pain even just while walking, I'm going to try my hardest to get in a 2-miler today and a 3-miler tomorrow.

The thing is, I know there's something wrong with the foot. That much is clear, as it's been hurting for over a week now. But until I'm diagnosed with something, I can't just quit. What if I stay off the foot now (for another week) and then find out it was just a really bad bone bruise or something? Something that I could totally have run through? Then I'll be behind in my training and really mad at myself for giving up too soon.

At the same time, every time that I run (or walk, for that matter) I fear that I'm doing myself more damage. Maybe it's a situation where Denver is out of reach (a mere 6 weeks away), but if I stay off the foot I could still run Memphis?

I'm very torn about what to do. I'm obviously disappointed. I've put my heart into training for these races and I'm afraid they're about to be taken away from me.

Magic pants!

Even though Alicia told me there'd be 150-200 people running with the group on Saturday, I could not have imagined the scene that unfolded on Saturday morning before 6AM. As I came down out of the mountains into Lakewood, there were loads of cars on the road. Strangely, they all seemed to be headed in the same direction I was. I turned into the parking lot in a steady stream of traffic. At 5:45AM. ALL of these people were running with the group.

Oh. Dear.

Luckily, I had run into the REI sale on Friday night, where I found two pairs of Nike running shorts and a new sports bra, all for a mere $40. And these were the super-cool track shorts that all the cool girls wear! The ones that were too small for me a couple of years ago. Needless to say, I had a little extra boost of confidence when I stepped out of the car on Saturday morning. But that wasn't all my new shorts had to offer... more on that in a bit.

I found the coach and introduced myself, then Alicia found me and we talked and stretched and then she introduced me to my pace group leader. Her name was Kari, and her friend was called Candy, and they were both really nice. The pace groups left one after the other, with ours being last. I was really nervous, naturally, but I joined in the group near the front. I figured if there was someone riding my heels, I might hang with the group a little longer.

It was chilly and my back and legs felt a little tight, and I was trying to get used to running without my iPod. But as we ran, I realized I was doing it: I was hanging with the group. We kept on running, and as we approached our first mile, I really felt like I was holding back to stay with the group. So, after the first mile, I just sort of left them behind.

Oh yes, you read that right. I left them behind.

Never in a million years would I have imagined it would go down this way. Now, there are a few facts I should bring up here... Many of these folks were going out for 16-22 miles on Saturday, whereas I was only doing 6 miles, so it's likely that they were intentionally holding back in the early miles to make sure they had enough gas in the tank to make it the full distance. Also, the pace group was running a little slower than the advertised pace (at least by my Garmin).

Anyway, here are my splits from Saturday:

Mile 1: 12:43
Mile 2: 12:24
Mile 3: 12:16
Mile 4: 12:30
Mile 5: 12:56
Mile 6: 12:29

I'd like to point out the lack of any 13's in that little segment.

This brings me back to my magic pants: I don't think I've ever done a 6 mile run without dipping into the 13's before. Therefore, the obvious explanation is that my brand new shorts make me run faster.

Because of this new revelation, and because Runner's Edge members got 20% off at Boulder Running Company after our group run, I bought 4 new pairs of really fast looking socks.

As I expected, the water/gatorade on the course made a huge difference for me. It was great to go out without anything to carry for a change (the coach even hangs onto everyone's car keys while we're out running!). They provided icy water and lemon/lime gatorade (which is quickly becoming my favorite during runs), potato chips and those gooey orange candy wedge things. Oh! And they had bagels and fruit and whatnot when we finished, too! It was fantastic. The course was laid out really well, with chalk marks on the road/sidewalk and bright yellow "turn here" signs that even I couldn't miss. Everyone seemed really friendly and supportive, and I really do believe that starting out with the group put me off on the right foot as far as pace went. If I'd been on my own, I probably would have started out at a slower pace, which would have made it more difficult to pick up the pace later. After talking it over with Miah, I've decided it's definitely worth the money spent to join this group... I have a lot to learn!

Hope everyone's long runs this weekend were as much fun as mine!

A little something new...

Like I mentioned in yesterday's post, there may be some changes on the horizon for my running.

So far this season, I haven't had any solid goals. The closest possible thing to a goal that I've had so far is this: I want to finish Denver without walking. That's right, it's exactly the same goal I had last year.

I was thinking about this a few days ago, and with anything you do, you have a choice: you can keep doing what you're doing, you can get worse, or you can get better. So far, with running, I've been content to just keep doing what I'm doing. I guess I'm getting marginally better, just simply due to the fact that I get out there often enough to see an improvement. No, not a consistent, daily improvement (I've never known a runner whose every run is better than the last; there always seem to be good days and bad days for everyone), but a general trend toward improvement.

Why is this, though? I'm starting to think it's fear. I'm a little afraid to see what I can do when I push myself. Because once you know what you're really capable of, it's not as easy to wuss out, is it? If you know you're capable of running 10 minute miles, all of a sudden running 11 minute miles starts to feel like you're taking the easy way out. So, the simple solution is to avoid really pushing yourself. In this way, you remain blissfully ignorant of your true potential, and you're able to keep on shuffling away, feeling proud of yourself for being out there at all.

But lately, I've been thinking more about goals. What do I really want from Denver? What do I want from Memphis?

When I picture myself finishing Denver, and I'm truly honest with myself, what I want is to finish a little faster than I did last year. When I picture myself finishing Memphis, I see an almost entirely different person. Not only do I see myself faster in Memphis (come on, sea level!), I also see myself finishing really strongly. Like a real runner. Like one of those runners who I watch and aspire to be. Typically, I can only admit this to myself in my deepest darkest moments of solitude because if I admit, out loud, that I aspire to be one of those real runners, I run the risk of being embarrassed due to the great divide between where I am now and where I want to be.

I think this is the first step in the right direction, though. My desire to get better, get stronger, is more important to me right now than my desire to stay un-embarrassed (if that's not a word, it ought to be).

And the thing is, I think I can get better... if I'm willing to push a little harder. But it's entirely up to me.

With all these thoughts tumbling around in my head over the last few days, my friend Alicia (you know, the totally hard-core one) mentioned her running group to me. It's a pretty big group, and all of the people in it are training for something half-marathon distance or longer. Several people from the group recently completed the Pikes Peak Ascent marathon: 26.2 miles of climbing 7000ft. A couple of others just finished the Leadville 100 (you know Leadville, the highest incorporated city in the United States? Elevation = 10,152ft?). Suffice it to say that I was more than intimidated just listening to her talk about it.

Alicia assured me that there would be a pace group to fit my needs, and it's a really supportive group, and soon I found myself actually considering going out for a group run with this bunch of athletes. At first I was hesitant. I've had my fair share (and several other folks' fair share) of huge embarrassing athletic failures, and I've no desire to subject myself to pointing and laughter and being the object of ridicule by the masses. But the more I thought about it, I began to realize what I mentioned earlier... my want to get better is bigger than my want to save face.

• Will I get dropped from my pace group? Maybe... there's a good chance, in fact.
• Will I be embarrassed? Maybe.
• Will I be intimidated? Definitely.
  
• Will I run faster than I think I can? Maybe... Alicia seems to think so, anyway! (Thanks for the vote of confidence, Alicia!)
• Will I be grateful for the water provided on the group run course? DEFINITELY.
• Will I come away learning something about running or about myself? Probably.

So, after weighing how much my pride is worth to me, I've decided to go out tomorrow and give it a try with this group: Runner's Edge of the Rockies. I figure if I hate it, I haven't lost anything. I was going to do a 6-miler tomorrow anyway, and this way I get to take advantage of their water/gatorade stops. If I love it, I can sign up for their program, which would get me all the extras: a running coach, a tailored training program specific to my races and my goals, a weekly group run with support, and maybe even a few new friends.

The thing is, I just have to push myself a little bit harder, and I'm hoping this running group will show me how to do that. If I cross the finish in Denver (or Memphis) feeling like I was holding something back in the interest of my own pride, I'm not sure it'll feel like a victory.

I hang my head in shame...

I skipped last night's training run. I was having bad stomach pain which I believe was a result of over-doing it on Tuesday night's run. But still, I feel terrible.

I'm back on today for another 4 miler.

And I do intend to blog that crazy run I did on Tuesday, as well as let you in on some new developments regarding my long run coming up on Saturday.

One is the lonliest number....

I've been giving it some thought, and I've almost decided (I'm 73.249% sure) that I want to run not one, but two, half-marathons this fall/winter. They're 6 weeks apart so I feel confident that I would have plenty of time to recover between the two of them. And it would be awesome to have another goal hanging on my calendar after Denver. And the second one is especially meaningful because it's in Memphis, which means my family could come out to support me.

I just don't know. Last year in the hours following my half in Denver I felt like crap. But I felt pretty good the next day. I even went for a run a couple days after last year's race. Surely, with 6 weeks between the two, I could get a good rest and still have time to increase my mileage to the point that the race in Memphis would find me running strong all the way to the finish.

An extra bonus to consider: Memphis is at a whopping 200ft of elevation. Just sayin'.

I'm particularly driven by running events. When I have an event planned, I know I have to keep training and keep working hard because there will be lots of people on-hand to see me fail if I don't put in the miles. So, having something planned post-Denver is one way to ensure that I'll keep up with my running even as winter approaches. This is something I've struggled with in years past. I have to admit to being a seasonal runner. But I don't want to be anymore... I really want to be one of those really hard core people you see out running down snow-covered sidewalks/trails in 8 degree weather with mittens and yak-traks. Then I'd feel really tough!

Why am I struggling with this decision so much? Am I hesitant for a good reason, or am I just allowing my natural ability to doubt myself cloud what is otherwise a good plan?

Enough with the 90+ degree days, ok?

First of all... can I just say that Miah is officially the husband of the year? For about a month, I've been asking him to go camping on Labor Day weekend. He's kept saying no, it'll be too crowded or whatever. Recently, we learned that his dad might be coming down to visit on Labor Day weekend, and when I talked to my father-in-law, I told him we had no plans (aside from SoxFan's gruelling 36 mile - 6000 feet of climbing - mountain bike ride). Well, yesterday in the car, he explained to me that actually, he'd made plans for us to spend the night of 9/6 at the B&B where we got married. Why? Because it was our 3 month anniversary, but also because it's one year since the day we got engaged (9/7). He started making these plans about a month ago, apparently, and he'd reserved our honeymoon suite. Isn't he just the most adorable man you've ever heard of? I do think I love him.

OK, newlywed sappiness out of the way, on to the running stuff...

I'm happy to report that the Frankenstein boot is long gone, folks. I kicked that sucker off on Wednesday of last week and I haven't looked back since. I missed only one run last week (Tuesday's run) so I managed to get in 2 weekday runs and my long run on Saturday. Here's a quick recap...

Wednesday's 2 miler was done up in Indian Hills. It's no coincidence that it's called Indian HILLS either. It was a fairly painless 2 miler, though I did have to wrap up the last 7 tenths by running laps around a park (not so much fun).

Thursday's 3.5 miler was done down in town, from my office. Stupidly, I slept in on Thursday morning, which meant I had to run in the afternoon heat. ARGH. I know better than this, yet I still do it. I had to walk a bit on the hills, but otherwise I was pretty pleased with how it went. Maybe it's purely psychological, but it seems like the running gets noticeably easier when you're in the shade? There is one long stretch on my 3.5m route from the office that is completely shade-free and every time I'm running down that stretch, I start to feel like I'm carrying a toddler (or a 27 year old man) on my shoulders.

With those two runs behind me pain free, I was feeling pretty good about Saturday's long run. Not so good, of course, that I could manage to drag my butt out of bed as early as I should have to get the run done before it got hot out, but you know... The trail was really crowded at 8AM, and it wasn't a great run, but it wasn't terrible, either. It was another 5 miler that I did on the highline canal trail, running from Goodson rec center. I notice, especially while running on the highline (which, by the way, is one of my very favorite places to run in Denver) that all the other slow people on the trail always nod and smile at me as we pass. It's as if they're saying "Dude, it's so awesome that we're out here together, struggling and sweating like pigs, getting passed by folks all the time... I know what you're going through." This reminds me of this really hilarious Nike commercial that I must share, even if it is terribly old news...

I missed cross-training (for only the second time and the first time was due to injury!) on Friday because Miah and I were out looking at potential houses with our spankin' new realtor. It was the first time we've been out looking at houses and it was exhausting and somewhat depressing. We saw 12 houses, it took all day long, and in the end there were really only a couple that we were interested in. One, of course, was drastically out of our price range and the other was a fixer-upper, which immediately sent me into a frenzy, worrying about what color to paint the kitchen walls and what kind of carpet we should pick out. (Worrying is sort of a hobby for me, see? If it were an Olympic sport, I'd be an 8-time gold medalist.) Needless to say, I missed out on mountain biking and had dreams about houses on Friday night.

Whew... now that all that updating is done I can move onto something that I was thinking about today...

I was talking to my friend (Alicia) at work. Alicia is a super-athlete. She's run several marathons (including Boston), too many half-marathons to count, she plays soccer and all sorts of other sports... She's generally just really fit and badass. Today, she was talking about how she wants to do a Half-Ironman. She's fit enough that she could probably go out tomorrow and do a Half-Ironman without any additional training whatsoever. Alicia would really excel at triathlons, in general (she excels at everything else!), so I encouraged her to do it. And she mentioned that, out here in Denver, it seems like you're never doing enough. You could be training for a marathon and still feel like a giant wuss because the other folks in your running group are training for an ultra-marathon. Luckily, I realized this early and have steered clear of running groups entirely for this reason.

Still, she's right. Running a half-marathon doesn't feel like much because so many of the people I know have done it or could do it without much training. There are even people who (and these folks really just kill me) don't seem to do a lot of physical activity of any sort, but when you talk them into running a fun-run 5K with you, they smoke your ass.

I mentioned to Miah that I wished I knew more people like me (in person). People who are sort of just getting started with the whole running thing, who have to try really hard to stay in shape, who are always going to finish near the back of the pack. He pointed out that there aren't that many people like that, though. That most of the people we know who are runners have been runners for a while. The other (more couch potato-ish) people we know don't have any interest in running or they would have done so already. It's just not that common for a largely un-fit, sedentary person to decide they want to change into an active, fit person. He said that the best person I have to compare myself to is the me from about 3 years ago. He's right. I know that is definitely the best comparison I can make to see how far I've come. It's just really hard to get the me from 3 years ago to go out for a 5 miler so that we can race... she's a bit of a lazy ass.

Oh! I went to the chiropractor on Monday and it turns out I'm twisted up like a pretzel but the doc says she can put me straight again (I sound like Forrest Gump a bit, no?). We managed to get all the way through the visit without her making some new-age reference to cleansing my chakras or whatever by snapping my little elbow joint and I was tickled to find that she was very careful every time she approached my neck (probably due to the fact that I told her how terrified I was that she was going to snap my neck). I had to get some x-rays of my lower back (which didn't hurt at all on today's 4 miler) and I have another visit on Thursday afternoon. I'm going to try to better understand what all is wrong with me on this visit, I promise. I'm sure there's got to be a better explanation than the one I've currently got: my neck/back/ankles/knees/hips are all janked.